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Jenni
Banned
Posts: 9526
Location: England.
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 Posted: Fri, 7th Mar 2008 06:40 Post subject: |
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I didn't say anything because no matter what anyone said on here wouldn't make you feel any better.
All I can say is go out, get drunk and have a good time. The sooner you get a new girlfriend the sooner you'll get the other one off your mind all the time.
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| Posted: Fri, 7th Mar 2008 11:58 Post subject: |
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| pistolshrimp wrote: | | Van.Helsing wrote: | | Very good friend of mine once said, "i'm under no illusion, relationship's don't last forever, just gotta get the best outta the ride", that to me is reality. |
I guess if that is your idea that the realationship is doomed (don't last forever) when you go into it, that is what will end up happening. All relationships take effort. |
There is a very large difference between effort and foolishiness.Sadly most don't know the differences, and make things are worse. While I agree that relationships take effort, most people don't know when enough is enough.
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| Posted: Fri, 7th Mar 2008 18:18 Post subject: |
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It was not mean't offensively, just when he said it, i kinda thought back to my previous relationship's, sorry if it came off offensively, just from personaly experience it has been the case, an i have put alot of effort into all of them.
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TiHKAL
Posts: 2350
Location: The Pub
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| Posted: Fri, 7th Mar 2008 18:34 Post subject: |
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| Van.Helsing wrote: | | It was not mean't offensively, just when he said it, i kinda thought back to my previous relationship's, sorry if it came off offensively, just from personaly experience it has been the case, an i have put alot of effort into all of them. |
Oh no worries man -- your comment was good. 
PC: i7-4790k @ 4.4, 32GB @ 2400, Nvidia 1080TI FE, 2 TB Crucial MX500 SSD
Nintendo Switch SX OS Pro / PS4 Pro 5.05 Hen/Mira / PS3 Modded / Wii Modded / 360 Pre-Wave4 mod
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| Posted: Fri, 7th Mar 2008 18:57 Post subject: |
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I think a better way of looking at it is to accept that all relationships are inherently unstable. A relationship can last 'forever' from a subjective point of view, but it will never remain in it's current state as it runs it's course.
I mean, some people stay together until old age and natural death separates them. But I doubt throughout that whole time the dynamics of the relationship remained the same.
"Techniclly speaking, Beta-Manboi didnt inject Burberry_Massi with Benz, he injected him with liquid that had air bubbles in it, which caused benz." - House M.D
"Faith without logic is the same as knowledge without understanding; meaningless"
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Cohen
Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
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| Posted: Fri, 7th Mar 2008 19:49 Post subject: |
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the only way relationships really work is if both of the participants are layed back and open minded people. Things in common, lots to talk about, etc are all great addons but when it comes down to an arguement you have to sometimes accept being wrong which a lot of people can't do. Most people tend to see arguements and want out of the relationship thinking "it doesnt work with them" when in reality it may just be because they are being closed minded about the situation.
troll detected by SiN
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| Posted: Sat, 8th Mar 2008 05:08 Post subject: |
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| watergem wrote: | | the only way relationships really work is if both of the participants are layed back and open minded people. Things in common, lots to talk about, etc are all great addons but when it comes down to an arguement you have to sometimes accept being wrong which a lot of people can't do. Most people tend to see arguements and want out of the relationship thinking "it doesnt work with them" when in reality it may just be because they are being closed minded about the situation. |
wise words..
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Sat, 8th Mar 2008 22:43 Post subject: |
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@tik
Man, I know what your going through. I lost a wife of 10 years.
Its hard to get over, but trust me, as time goes by, things will get easier. All I can suggest is keeping yourself occupied. Do stuff you really like doing. And do stuff you couldnt do while you were with your girl.
Sitting around stewing about what happened will only make things work. Women come and go man. Well, most women. Im sure there are a few out there that are loyal, but I have yet to meet one (romantically)
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Phluxed
VIP Member
Posts: 4911
Location: Oakville, Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Sat, 8th Mar 2008 23:11 Post subject: |
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I was just recently there. It sucks.
Feel better asap.
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| Posted: Tue, 11th Mar 2008 00:43 Post subject: |
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Fuck man. 9 years..
I can't really imagine how you feel..
I broke up with my girl from the past 2.5 years and even thou this is my second longest relationship I feel like fucking crap once again. I can't sleep normally, I have turned the hours around and the sleep I get is on the day after work (this week I work mornings). I sit in the late nights and think over the things Ive could have done different, asking myself would it have saved anything? Or is it me? Can't I be loved for who I am?
I can't be arsed' to do the things I like, play games, watch movies and stuff like that which Ive been doing in the week days when not working before. EVERYTHING reminds me of her.. I feel like a lonely sad guy doing these things alone without her by my side anymore. Before it was OK just relaxing not doing anything in my free time because I knew that I had my love waiting to see me, now I feel stupid for doing it...and maybe I should. But whenever I go out with friends I miss her just as much, faking an outside to others that I'm OK not wanting to drag them down in my shit. They are all so fucking happy it seems and it kills me even more.
She even used to play Halo Multiplayer with me sometimes and now that game is ruined for me.. The sad fucking music in the menus are killing me.. I just want to break out in tears and sleep.
Ive been here once before and it will be OK in the future, but thats just a minor help thinking that way, It's not later I want to feel good, its now!
I'm just 22 so its probably no age at all, but I already want a girl to have kids with and all that stuff. I'm ready. I want kids at least when I'm 25 and I want a couple of years with the girl before that.
This and me having a parent with a deadly disease makes me feel alone. Even when I'm around people.
Fuck. Sorry to put my crap in here.
Good luck dude. May happiness be with you.
Squirrely: Now come on y'all. We can't waste time arguing. There could still be survivors out there. We need to hunt them down, and kill them.
Beary: How about we kill them, and then rape their bodies so we can use their blood as lubricant.
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Cohen
Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
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| Posted: Tue, 11th Mar 2008 03:13 Post subject: |
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| watergem wrote: | | the only way relationships really work is if both of the participants are layed back and open minded people. Things in common, lots to talk about, etc are all great addons but when it comes down to an arguement you have to sometimes accept being wrong which a lot of people can't do. Most people tend to see arguements and want out of the relationship thinking "it doesnt work with them" when in reality it may just be because they are being closed minded about the situation. |
So true. You gotta let somethings go sometimes.
@Unauthorized
Your post made me really sad. Sorry to hear about your parent.
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| Posted: Tue, 11th Mar 2008 11:00 Post subject: |
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I think most have no clue. While I am not the utmost leading authority on human interaction
and gender compatilbility, I can say with confidence that I've dealt with more couples than most people on here ever will.
I happen to feel differently, most people are not compatible, but they are often tolerant of eachother, it's better to have the devil you know, than the devil you don't. Simply put I know
so many who've never been happier leaving the situations they were in, so many are comfortable in their dysfunction, it's the comfort they are used to.
Truly good couples fight, and argue and have rough times, but there is an X factor, something that set's them apart. They both get *it* get eachother, it's not something that comes by often. I am fortunant my parents had that before my father passed away.
Love is an allowance, you allow yourself to love somebody, they don't force it upon you.
Have you ever seen the couple that have strange things happen? They just know when something is amiss? They do eerily similar things without knowing that the other is doing the same thing. You probably don't because too many people are with the wrong people. It's not that their current partners are bad, it's just their current partners are not best suited for them.
Read not to contradict and confute, nor to believe and take for granted, but to weigh and consider.
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
In all your remembering, remember that you have choices
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Phluxed
VIP Member
Posts: 4911
Location: Oakville, Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Tue, 11th Mar 2008 18:26 Post subject: |
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| Martian123 wrote: | I think most have no clue. While I am not the utmost leading authority on human interaction
and gender compatilbility, I can say with confidence that I've dealt with more couples than most people on here ever will.
I happen to feel differently, most people are not compatible, but they are often tolerant of eachother, it's better to have the devil you know, than the devil you don't. Simply put I know
so many who've never been happier leaving the situations they were in, so many are comfortable in their dysfunction, it's the comfort they are used to.
Truly good couples fight, and argue and have rough times, but there is an X factor, something that set's them apart. They both get *it* get eachother, it's not something that comes by often. I am fortunant my parents had that before my father passed away.
Love is an allowance, you allow yourself to love somebody, they don't force it upon you.
Have you ever seen the couple that have strange things happen? They just know when something is amiss? They do eerily similar things without knowing that the other is doing the same thing. You probably don't because too many people are with the wrong people. It's not that their current partners are bad, it's just their current partners are not best suited for them. |
I'm just curious ~ Do you think it's possible people are unsure of their actual attractions? For instance, some people are overtly superficial and it restricts their choices of partners?
I've often believed that, even in myself. I worry too much about looks. When I met my ex-fiance, I hadn't seen her in anything but pictures before I had fallen for her. I still miss her now and then, even though we've been apart for many months. She wasn't a skinny girl (but she wasn't obese) and all the girls I seem to find myself chasing, are skinny pretty things, even though the majority of them are not my type of person. |
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Cohen
Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
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| Posted: Tue, 11th Mar 2008 23:31 Post subject: |
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| AnimalMother wrote: | I think a better way of looking at it is to accept that all relationships are inherently unstable. A relationship can last 'forever' from a subjective point of view, but it will never remain in it's current state as it runs it's course.
I mean, some people stay together until old age and natural death separates them. But I doubt throughout that whole time the dynamics of the relationship remained the same. |
Does this outlook stem from your personal experience with past relationships?
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| Posted: Thu, 13th Mar 2008 20:46 Post subject: |
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| Phluxed wrote: | | Martian123 wrote: | I think most have no clue. While I am not the utmost leading authority on human interaction
and gender compatilbility, I can say with confidence that I've dealt with more couples than most people on here ever will.
I happen to feel differently, most people are not compatible, but they are often tolerant of eachother, it's better to have the devil you know, than the devil you don't. Simply put I know
so many who've never been happier leaving the situations they were in, so many are comfortable in their dysfunction, it's the comfort they are used to.
Truly good couples fight, and argue and have rough times, but there is an X factor, something that set's them apart. They both get *it* get eachother, it's not something that comes by often. I am fortunant my parents had that before my father passed away.
Love is an allowance, you allow yourself to love somebody, they don't force it upon you.
Have you ever seen the couple that have strange things happen? They just know when something is amiss? They do eerily similar things without knowing that the other is doing the same thing. You probably don't because too many people are with the wrong people. It's not that their current partners are bad, it's just their current partners are not best suited for them. |
I'm just curious ~ Do you think it's possible people are unsure of their actual attractions? For instance, some people are overtly superficial and it restricts their choices of partners?
I've often believed that, even in myself. I worry too much about looks. When I met my ex-fiance, I hadn't seen her in anything but pictures before I had fallen for her. I still miss her now and then, even though we've been apart for many months. She wasn't a skinny girl (but she wasn't obese) and all the girls I seem to find myself chasing, are skinny pretty things, even though the majority of them are not my type of person. |
Yes, you are correct, there are probably hundreds of factors involved that doom most relationships from the start.
People do worry far too much about the looks of the person they are with and not enough about what they offer. Money is another major factor, too many people are overlooked because they can't provide financial security, or the like.
Sometimes the better deal is the less beautiful poor schmo! He or She would probably dedicate what little they have making things work and ensuring things go well, but they
are passed on by and end up as the "friend."
I once had a client who told me about her relationship, and how she wanted her man to be like her best friend. I said why not just ditch the dude and date the best friend since he's so wonderful. Her response was I don't like him like that, and I said is he hot, her answer was a giggle and no. So that was why, simply he was probably not attractive enough for this one to take. For the ladies who may or may not read this, men are just as bad.
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Phluxed
VIP Member
Posts: 4911
Location: Oakville, Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Thu, 13th Mar 2008 21:37 Post subject: |
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| Martian123 wrote: | | Phluxed wrote: | | Martian123 wrote: | I think most have no clue. While I am not the utmost leading authority on human interaction
and gender compatilbility, I can say with confidence that I've dealt with more couples than most people on here ever will.
I happen to feel differently, most people are not compatible, but they are often tolerant of eachother, it's better to have the devil you know, than the devil you don't. Simply put I know
so many who've never been happier leaving the situations they were in, so many are comfortable in their dysfunction, it's the comfort they are used to.
Truly good couples fight, and argue and have rough times, but there is an X factor, something that set's them apart. They both get *it* get eachother, it's not something that comes by often. I am fortunant my parents had that before my father passed away.
Love is an allowance, you allow yourself to love somebody, they don't force it upon you.
Have you ever seen the couple that have strange things happen? They just know when something is amiss? They do eerily similar things without knowing that the other is doing the same thing. You probably don't because too many people are with the wrong people. It's not that their current partners are bad, it's just their current partners are not best suited for them. |
I'm just curious ~ Do you think it's possible people are unsure of their actual attractions? For instance, some people are overtly superficial and it restricts their choices of partners?
I've often believed that, even in myself. I worry too much about looks. When I met my ex-fiance, I hadn't seen her in anything but pictures before I had fallen for her. I still miss her now and then, even though we've been apart for many months. She wasn't a skinny girl (but she wasn't obese) and all the girls I seem to find myself chasing, are skinny pretty things, even though the majority of them are not my type of person. |
Yes, you are correct, there are probably hundreds of factors involved that doom most relationships from the start.
People do worry far too much about the looks of the person they are with and not enough about what they offer. Money is another major factor, too many people are overlooked because they can't provide financial security, or the like.
Sometimes the better deal is the less beautiful poor schmo! He or She would probably dedicate what little they have making things work and ensuring things go well, but they
are passed on by and end up as the "friend."
I once had a client who told me about her relationship, and how she wanted her man to be like her best friend. I said why not just ditch the dude and date the best friend since he's so wonderful. Her response was I don't like him like that, and I said is he hot, her answer was a giggle and no. So that was why, simply he was probably not attractive enough for this one to take. For the ladies who may or may not read this, men are just as bad. |
When looking at physical attractions maturity seems to play a factor. When an individual can start to realize that looks fade and change but a person stays the same they begin to worry less about 'hotness' and focus on physical traits like eyes, and lips rather than breasts, abs, asses etc. |
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TiHKAL
Posts: 2350
Location: The Pub
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| Posted: Tue, 18th Mar 2008 19:25 Post subject: |
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More drama.
Well, i know i didn't mention this part before but she is still living with me. I went to bed last night at about 10:15 took a sleeping pill because i haven't been sleeping properly. I woke up at 3:00AM to find her taking money from my pants. It's not as bad as it sounds - it was for the cab she took home. I know a lot of people would care about that, but i really don't. At any rate, then she comes back to the bedroom and lays down next to me crying. I am out of it so i try to goto sleep. Then she says something along the lines of -- it seems like you love the cats more then me. We haven't slept in the same room or even house really for 2-3 weeks. I really didn't know what to do or say, so i grabbed my pillow and blanket and went and slept on the floor.
Color me confused.
She had been at the pub until closing time - Also, i think i smelled a hint of puke hard to tell though.
PC: i7-4790k @ 4.4, 32GB @ 2400, Nvidia 1080TI FE, 2 TB Crucial MX500 SSD
Nintendo Switch SX OS Pro / PS4 Pro 5.05 Hen/Mira / PS3 Modded / Wii Modded / 360 Pre-Wave4 mod
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PrideLess
Posts: 668
Location: 01 E4 2B 36 0E 1A EB 03 28 4C FF C7 11 A0 E7
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| Posted: Tue, 18th Mar 2008 21:53 Post subject: |
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You made a right choice mate.
Do not fall on tears. In my first releationship witch last for 5 years, my ex come back after one month with tears, how sorry she is bla bla... I just stared to get my head straight up, but i still take her back. She mess my head and leave again.
I am not telling you what to do, but once is over it is over and get on.
I know few couples that were trying to get together after breaking up, but none of them are together now.
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Wed, 19th Mar 2008 00:13 Post subject: |
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| PrideLess wrote: | You made a right choice mate.
Do not fall on tears. In my first releationship witch last for 5 years, my ex come back after one month with tears, how sorry she is bla bla... I just stared to get my head straight up, but i still take her back. She mess my head and leave again.
I am not telling you what to do, but once is over it is over and get on.
I know few couples that were trying to get together after breaking up, but none of them are together now. |
Im an example of that. My exwife divorce me, we got back together because everything was 'fine', marries her a second time and now we're divorce again |
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Cohen
Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
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| Posted: Wed, 19th Mar 2008 01:11 Post subject: |
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never get married.
Its not the 1900+'s anymore.
The current generation and society destines things like marriage to be taken the piss out of anyways..
I won't ever get married, If I wanted to, Id now just find a bitch who I didnt like and give her my house, half my money and my car instead.
troll detected by SiN
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| Posted: Wed, 19th Mar 2008 02:28 Post subject: |
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I think in the US married couples get tax breaks. Can't imagine it any other way =/
Sense Amid Madness, Wit Amidst Folly
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nouseforaname
Über-VIP Member
Posts: 21306
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Wed, 19th Mar 2008 05:27 Post subject: |
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if you are married you don't pay taxes any differently unless you have assets together that are making money. You still have the same personal exemption and the same marginal tax rates.
Case in point my brother's boss pays his wife a salary of $250K a year so he can save on taxes, she will be taxed starting in the lowest tax bracket while for him that entire amount would be taxed at the highest marginal rate.
A lot of counties also have income splitting where income is split evenly between partners for the lowest possible tax rate as well...
| Quote: | Income splitting is a method of reducing a family's income tax in a jurisdiction that employs progressive taxation. In situations where one member of a household earns considerably more than another, they will likely be in a higher tax bracket, and thus have to pay more income tax. Income splitting works by shifting some of the income to the lower earner, and thus shifting the higher earner to a lower tax bracket.
Income splitting is the default behaviour in countries which allow or require spouses to file a joint tax return. Thirteen OECD countries allow such fillings: the United States, France, Germany, Belgium, Greece, Luxembourg, Portugal, Switzerland, Iceland, Ireland, Norway, Poland and Spain.
Joint filling by couples is not permitted in other jurisdictions, and tax laws in these countries generally have regulations preventing the direct transfer of income from one spouse to another to reduce taxes. There are often still methods of using income splitting to reduce taxes in these jurisdictions. For those who own their own company, hiring family members will reduce the overall tax burden by shifting income to a low taxed wage from the higher taxed profits. Having all investments in the name of the lower taxed family member will also allow the tax burden to be reduced.
Income splitting is currently a matter of debate in Canada. Joint fillings have not been permitted in Canada, but the Conservative government of Stephen Harper has mused about bringing them in. In part to mitigate the effects of the government's decision to tax income trusts, finance minister Jim Flaherty introduced income splitting for seniors in 2006.
The primary advantage of income splitting is that it reflects that the household rather than the individual is the basic economic unit. A family with one person earning $100,000 per year and another who doesn't work is no wealthier than a couple where both earn $50,000, yet the former will be taxed at a considerably higher rate due to progressive taxes. The main disadvantage is that it will cost the government several billion dollars per year. An important social impact of income splitting is that in the vast majority of cases where income is greatly unbalanced between a couple, it is because the woman is not working. Canada shifting its income splitting policy would thus amount to a billions of dollars subsidy for this lifestyle, and would have the effect of reducing women's participation in the work force. This effect is lauded by some socially conservative groups, but strongly opposed by feminist advocates. In part because of these concerns income splitting is becoming less common globally, and since 1970 it has been abolished in seven OECD countries. |
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Income_splitting
asus z170-A || core i5-6600K || geforce gtx 970 4gb || 16gb ddr4 ram || win10 || 1080p led samsung 27"
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Wed, 19th Mar 2008 14:12 Post subject: |
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@nouse
Dude, I notice you quote Wiki alot....you know its not completely accurate right and cant be relied upon as a trustworthy site of info right?
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| Posted: Wed, 19th Mar 2008 14:28 Post subject: |
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it is
cockcockcockcockcockcockcockcockcockcockcockcock
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nouseforaname
Über-VIP Member
Posts: 21306
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Thu, 20th Mar 2008 02:09 Post subject: |
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| tihkal wrote: | More drama.
Well, i know i didn't mention this part before but she is still living with me. I went to bed last night at about 10:15 took a sleeping pill because i haven't been sleeping properly. I woke up at 3:00AM to find her taking money from my pants. It's not as bad as it sounds - it was for the cab she took home. I know a lot of people would care about that, but i really don't. At any rate, then she comes back to the bedroom and lays down next to me crying. I am out of it so i try to goto sleep. Then she says something along the lines of -- it seems like you love the cats more then me. We haven't slept in the same room or even house really for 2-3 weeks. I really didn't know what to do or say, so i grabbed my pillow and blanket and went and slept on the floor.
Color me confused.
She had been at the pub until closing time - Also, i think i smelled a hint of puke hard to tell though. |
She sounds like bad news. What if you didn't have any money, what was she going to do? Ditch the cab at your address??? Take off though your back door. Later on in the night guys can bust your front door or back door to collect her dept for whatever? How old is she?
I am prob too harsh. Sounds like you love her.
Wiki can be fairly accuriate. You can always contest something. It has info-links so you can better understand the subject. Like everything else you have to use your brain. Lots of politics are ify. Always double check their sorces before you make your mind. It is just a tool. I use it a lot.
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