|
|
| Page 2 of 2 |
DXWarlock
VIP Member
Posts: 11549
Location: Florida, USA
|
 Posted: Tue, 19th Feb 2013 20:25 Post subject: |
|
 |
| xxax wrote: | | DXWarlock wrote: | I know it sounds crazy..but ask her?
its a wild and strange idea to have, actually just asking someone what they meant/intended by something. but its amazing the results, and lack of confusion and frustration it saves 
I mean just because she has different body parts than you, does it make it that difficult to ask "what did you mean by that that night? what should I read into it?" |
NO! Don't do this. She'll just look at you like you're stupid. |
And if she does, you know its not worth the effort to chase her.
At least my outlook on it  I never really was into the girls that want to dance around, play games, and do the whole 'drama acting unsure thing'.
If I cant talk to her like shes a guy friend, just upfront and 'whats on your mind'. I didnt need to be dating her  always just upfront about open about it. I cant do the 'mating dance' ritual thing well. You like me? I like you? cool lets hang out and see if we both agree sex should happen.
either it did or it didnt..and we dated or stayed friends.
-We don't control what happens to us in life, but we control how we respond to what happens in life.
-Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times. -G. Michael Hopf
Disclaimer: Post made by me are of my own creation. A delusional mind relayed in text form.
Last edited by DXWarlock on Tue, 19th Feb 2013 20:28; edited 1 time in total
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
| Posted: Tue, 19th Feb 2013 20:28 Post subject: |
|
|
She was with him for 2 years as a friend - and NOW she does this? At the same time, she's seeing her ex?
If there had been a real attraction or something more, this wouldn't be happening after 2 years - certainly not while still seeing her ex.
I'm really sorry - but this has bad news written all over it.
Could be wrong, though.
I think a straight-up confrontation is in order as well - and not a weak/fuzzy one either.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DXWarlock
VIP Member
Posts: 11549
Location: Florida, USA
|
| Posted: Tue, 19th Feb 2013 20:31 Post subject: |
|
|
| Casus wrote: | She was with him for 2 years as a friend - and NOW she does this? At the same time, she's seeing her ex?
If there had been a real attraction or something more, this wouldn't be happening after 2 years - certainly not while still seeing her ex.
I'm really sorry - but this has bad news written all over it.
Could be wrong, though. |
Why I said just ask her if shes trying to imply something. then the balls in his court knowing the answer, and can either run with it or let her know otherwise. To me, just asking her if shes trying to start something or would like to, is 1000x easier than reading signs, guessing intentions, gauging body language she has.
I mean dont go "hey, would you have fucked me that night?"
Just go "Ive been wondering, was there more behind that kiss than I think there was?" pretty simple question and answer to clear it up.
-We don't control what happens to us in life, but we control how we respond to what happens in life.
-Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times. -G. Michael Hopf
Disclaimer: Post made by me are of my own creation. A delusional mind relayed in text form.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
| Posted: Tue, 19th Feb 2013 20:36 Post subject: |
|
|
| DXWarlock wrote: | | Casus wrote: | She was with him for 2 years as a friend - and NOW she does this? At the same time, she's seeing her ex?
If there had been a real attraction or something more, this wouldn't be happening after 2 years - certainly not while still seeing her ex.
I'm really sorry - but this has bad news written all over it.
Could be wrong, though. |
Why I said just ask her if shes trying to imply something. then the balls in his court knowing the answer, and can either run with it or let her know otherwise. To me, just asking her if shes trying to start something or would like to, is 1000x easier than reading signs, guessing intentions, gauging body language she has.
I mean dont go "hey, would you have fucked me that night?"
Just go "Ive been wondering, was there more behind that kiss than I think there was?" pretty simple question and answer to clear it up. |
Yes, I agree.
Just ask her straight-up with no bullshit and don't be a pussy about it. Asking in a humble way will just tell her she can play around all she wants and get away with it.
If she really feels something more - then she won't have a problem saying yes.
I wouldn't count on it, though.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
| Posted: Tue, 19th Feb 2013 20:41 Post subject: |
|
|
yea, that's the problem. I actually love her but I don't know... we're arguing so much, I don't think it could work out between us.
Just like today, we were txting and I kinda got pissed, because I've asked her yesterday if she got some time to hang out for 1-2 hours and she said that she doesn't have any time, because she has her exams starting this week until mid next week. I said "okay then, good luck with your exams". But I knew something was fishy, because she is a soccer fan and arsenal is playing today, so I've asked her if she's going to watch it and she said yes, that's when I said "you know what? It's like talking to a wall with you, do what you want to, I need to sort out my own bullshit, I've got 2 jobs, my school and so many fucking stuff to study - my head is about to explode, I just wanted to hang out for a bit, I won't bother you anymore during you exams, good luck". - you may wonder why I've snapped, that's because I was 100% sure that she's going to watch it with her ex-bf (he's a soccer player).
aaaaaanyway, her reply was "aww man... not again". That was the only thing until I wrote her that she's wrong and she's doing some stupid things, that I just wanted to spent some time with her, but it looks like other people are more important. She said it's not like that and told me that she'll watch the game at home. after a few more txt's she said "I've have to go to my dancing lessons now" <--- I fucking know that she'll go to him afterwards.
I won't contact her anymore. Fuck it, I don't want to get betrayed...again. shit like this always happens to me  .
...that kiss was unnecessary.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DXWarlock
VIP Member
Posts: 11549
Location: Florida, USA
|
| Posted: Tue, 19th Feb 2013 20:47 Post subject: |
|
|
Yea, then drop it Id say.
Maybe one day when she gets her head out of her ass and decides what she wants, go for it.
But if you known her 2 years, and she still just tosses out random excuses of what shes doing, and its something else...it can only get worse dating her. If she cant tell you the truth as a friend, she sure as hell wont feel like she can dating you.
-We don't control what happens to us in life, but we control how we respond to what happens in life.
-Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times. -G. Michael Hopf
Disclaimer: Post made by me are of my own creation. A delusional mind relayed in text form.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
| Posted: Tue, 19th Feb 2013 20:53 Post subject: |
|
|
| Kurosaki wrote: | yea, that's the problem. I actually love her but I don't know... we're arguing so much, I don't think it could work out between us.
Just like today, we were txting and I kinda got pissed, because I've asked her yesterday if she got some time to hang out for 1-2 hours and she said that she doesn't have any time, because she has her exams starting this week until mid next week. I said "okay then, good luck with your exams". But I knew something was fishy, because she is a soccer fan and arsenal is playing today, so I've asked her if she's going to watch it and she said yes, that's when I said "you know what? It's like talking to a wall with you, do what you want to, I need to sort out my own bullshit, I've got 2 jobs, my school and so many fucking stuff to study - my head is about to explode, I just wanted to hang out for a bit, I won't bother you anymore during you exams, good luck". - you may wonder why I've snapped, that's because I was 100% sure that she's going to watch it with her ex-bf (he's a soccer player).
aaaaaanyway, her reply was "aww man... not again". That was the only thing until I wrote her that she's wrong and she's doing some stupid things, that I just wanted to spent some time with her, but it looks like other people are more important. She said it's not like that and told me that she'll watch the game at home. after a few more txt's she said "I've have to go to my dancing lessons now" <--- I fucking know that she'll go to him afterwards.
I won't contact her anymore. Fuck it, I don't want to get betrayed...again. shit like this always happens to me .
...that kiss was unnecessary. |
Ok, if all of that is true - I give you my personal guarantee that she doesn't give a shit about you as a love interest.
She enjoys the attention and she's WELL aware that you really like her - and maybe even that you love her.
She's being petty and cruel - and she needs to be abandoned in a big way. Her kiss is a clear sign that she's a really selfish bitch.
Best thing is to make a clean cut and move on.
I'm sorry, but that's my take on it.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
| Posted: Tue, 19th Feb 2013 20:59 Post subject: |
|
|
Seems like you're making a lot of assumptions (mainly concerning her boyfriend). Just talk to the girl/woman if it bothers you this much.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
| Posted: Tue, 19th Feb 2013 21:04 Post subject: |
|
|
Yea, I want to talk to her - from face-to-face. Well, I just hope that I can see her on the weekend, I just can't end everything on my assumptions.
I just know one thing, I don't need more drama in my life, just like I've said, my head is already about to explode >.<....
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
tw1st
Posts: 6112
Location: New Jersey
|
| Posted: Tue, 19th Feb 2013 21:57 Post subject: |
|
|
| BenQ XL2420T 24" 120Hz | Ducky Shine III 9008 White LED - Brown MX | Logitech G9x |
| Corsair Carbide 400R | Asus Sabertooth z77 | i7 3770K @ 4.3Ghz - 1.200v | CM Hyper 212 Evo - Push/Pull |
| SLI eVGA 4GB GTX980 ACX SC | Vengeance 16GB RAM 1600 DDR3 | AX850w PSU | Samsung 840Pro 128GB SSD | WD Black 1TB HD |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Grale
Banned
Posts: 3321
Location: Invert
|
| Posted: Tue, 19th Feb 2013 22:02 Post subject: |
|
|
| Casus wrote: | | Kurosaki wrote: | yea, that's the problem. I actually love her but I don't know... we're arguing so much, I don't think it could work out between us.
Just like today, we were txting and I kinda got pissed, because I've asked her yesterday if she got some time to hang out for 1-2 hours and she said that she doesn't have any time, because she has her exams starting this week until mid next week. I said "okay then, good luck with your exams". But I knew something was fishy, because she is a soccer fan and arsenal is playing today, so I've asked her if she's going to watch it and she said yes, that's when I said "you know what? It's like talking to a wall with you, do what you want to, I need to sort out my own bullshit, I've got 2 jobs, my school and so many fucking stuff to study - my head is about to explode, I just wanted to hang out for a bit, I won't bother you anymore during you exams, good luck". - you may wonder why I've snapped, that's because I was 100% sure that she's going to watch it with her ex-bf (he's a soccer player).
aaaaaanyway, her reply was "aww man... not again". That was the only thing until I wrote her that she's wrong and she's doing some stupid things, that I just wanted to spent some time with her, but it looks like other people are more important. She said it's not like that and told me that she'll watch the game at home. after a few more txt's she said "I've have to go to my dancing lessons now" <--- I fucking know that she'll go to him afterwards.
I won't contact her anymore. Fuck it, I don't want to get betrayed...again. shit like this always happens to me .
...that kiss was unnecessary. |
Ok, if all of that is true - I give you my personal guarantee that she doesn't give a shit about you as a love interest.
She enjoys the attention and she's WELL aware that you really like her - and maybe even that you love her.
She's being petty and cruel - and she needs to be abandoned in a big way. Her kiss is a clear sign that she's a really selfish bitch.
Best thing is to make a clean cut and move on.
I'm sorry, but that's my take on it. |
Take his advice it's spot on.
You may just find if you back off and cut contact she will start to pursue you.
I may be wrong, but you don't need women like her in your life, no good will come of it. I've been there and wear the scars 
Edit: When she does pursue you, FHITB and never see her again.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
| Posted: Tue, 19th Feb 2013 22:11 Post subject: |
|
|
Wut? Visiting her Ex-bf? And her behaviour? Wooo instant cut-off. That just screams mess all around. I would have fun there but i wouldnt be taking it seriously nor giving it much attention if she isnt available when i talk.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
| Posted: Tue, 19th Feb 2013 22:21 Post subject: |
|
|
I should've mentioned that I already cut off the contact between us for 8 months.
almost the same happened 8-9 months ago,but without the kiss. she tried to get in contact with me but I said that I don't have time, or didn't even reply. Her girlfriends started contacting me and trying to get me to meet her & etc. but I didn't do shit.
on new years eve, she wrote me a txt msg and of course I was drunk and all the guys around me were yelling "yeaaaahh duuuude, meeeet heeeer!"(still would've met her even if they didn't say anything). So I've decided to meet her few days later.
yea, we met like nothing happened, suddenly she started talking and asking me "will it ever be like before?" and I said I don't now, hell I don't even know if I want that - she started to cry and hugged me & etc.
after that we met almost every weekend...no, not almost, we met every weekend. and then the kiss happened.
GUISSSSSEE...srsly, I have no fucking clue what to do :X
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DXWarlock
VIP Member
Posts: 11549
Location: Florida, USA
|
| Posted: Tue, 19th Feb 2013 22:32 Post subject: |
|
|
RUN!
or at least just keep it 'friend casual' type thing. She sounds like she doesnt know what she wants, but wants it all in the meantime while she figures it out.
I can see no good coming from it, I dated a few like that when I was 18-19..why I avoided them afterwards. The whole "you know I really like you, and we should.. OH SQUIRREL!" when she sees the other guy she likes type girls, are too much drama, work, and headaches.
Im not saying she should settle down with you or him or anything, but at least decide who she wants, not just which one gives her attention at the time...unless both guys are cool with that arrangement, it just causes auguring.
-We don't control what happens to us in life, but we control how we respond to what happens in life.
-Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times. -G. Michael Hopf
Disclaimer: Post made by me are of my own creation. A delusional mind relayed in text form.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
| Posted: Tue, 19th Feb 2013 22:38 Post subject: |
|
|
You DO NOT want to be friends with a girl you love - who doesn't feel the same way.
You will be wasting your life for as long as that "friendship" lasts. Beyond that, you'll be in a constant state of pain and frustration.
Go find a girl who loves you right back.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DXWarlock
VIP Member
Posts: 11549
Location: Florida, USA
|
| Posted: Tue, 19th Feb 2013 22:41 Post subject: |
|
|
well casus I think that depends on if he can agree it cant be, and just be friends.
True don't hang out with a girl you love in hopes it changes. But if you can get past the 'its not going to work' you can just enjoy being friends...it is possible.
But only if you aren't tricking yourself into it.
-We don't control what happens to us in life, but we control how we respond to what happens in life.
-Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times. -G. Michael Hopf
Disclaimer: Post made by me are of my own creation. A delusional mind relayed in text form.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DXWarlock
VIP Member
Posts: 11549
Location: Florida, USA
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
| Posted: Tue, 19th Feb 2013 22:45 Post subject: |
|
|
| DXWarlock wrote: | well casus I think that depends on if he can agree it cant be, and just be friends.
True don't hang out with a girl you love in hopes it changes. But if you can get past the 'its not going to work' you can just enjoy being friends...it is possible.
But only if you aren't tricking yourself into it. |
In my experience - it's not possible. You can't just forget how you feel. It will always linger - and be a problem.
The only way it could possibly work, is if he found another girl - which is unlikely to happen if he keeps spending time with one he's in love with.
Anyway, that's my experience. Take it for what it's worth.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
DXWarlock
VIP Member
Posts: 11549
Location: Florida, USA
|
| Posted: Tue, 19th Feb 2013 22:49 Post subject: |
|
|
| Casus wrote: | | DXWarlock wrote: | well casus I think that depends on if he can agree it cant be, and just be friends.
True don't hang out with a girl you love in hopes it changes. But if you can get past the 'its not going to work' you can just enjoy being friends...it is possible.
But only if you aren't tricking yourself into it. |
In my experience - it's not possible. You can't just forget how you feel. It will always linger - and be a problem.
The only way it could possibly work, is if he found another girl - which is unlikely to happen if he keeps spending time with one he's in love with.
Anyway, that's my experience. Take it for what it's worth. |
I hung out with a girl when I was 17 I was TOTALLY mad for, but we came to the agreement that it couldnt ever happen. it was bad choice for both of us, despite what we wanted.
I stayed friends with her a long time, even up to and after I met my wife when I was 20. Once I got past the worry of "will it happen, will it not happen, I hope it does". it was pretty easy to just chill with her. It was all out in the open, resolved, and water under the bridge. I guess the idea of 'dont cry over spilt milk" was the mindset. It happened and didnt go as planned. No reason to fuckup the fun we had hanging out over it.
-We don't control what happens to us in life, but we control how we respond to what happens in life.
-Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times. -G. Michael Hopf
Disclaimer: Post made by me are of my own creation. A delusional mind relayed in text form.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
| Page 2 of 2 |
All times are GMT + 1 Hour |
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
Powered by phpBB 2.0.8 © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group
|
|
 |
|
