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WaldoJ
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 Posted: Mon, 23rd Oct 2006 03:11 Post subject: |
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You know I want you to tell me what you mean by complex.  But in a pm 
I don't want to take over the topic. Depression is something I want to understand fully. See if I am really depressed or not. Cause sometimes if you’re exposed to something for a long time you think of it as a norm and you can really distinguish it from other things. You become your environment and your environment becomes you. And you’re ghettoized.
The other day we were analyzing Cathedral by Raymond Carver and I when they, class, spoke of the central character it felt so awkward as if they were describing my life. 
| Sin317 wrote: | | I win, you lose. Or Go fuck yourself. |
Last edited by WaldoJ on Mon, 23rd Oct 2006 03:15; edited 1 time in total |
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[sYn]
[Moderator] Elitist
Posts: 8374
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Oct 2006 03:13 Post subject: |
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Aint gonna happen buddy, if people where able to understand it, it wouldn't be a problem haha..
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WaldoJ
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Oct 2006 03:24 Post subject: |
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| [sYn] wrote: | | Aint gonna happen buddy, if people where able to understand it, it wouldn't be a problem haha.. |
I re-edited it. I had to read it couple of times to understand exactly what you said.  Question now is how come anti-depressants are being prescribed then?
| Sin317 wrote: | | I win, you lose. Or Go fuck yourself. |
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[sYn]
[Moderator] Elitist
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Oct 2006 03:58 Post subject: |
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| WaldoJ wrote: | | SycoShaman wrote: | | How can you surround yourself with happiness when nothing really make you happy or you cant have what would make you happy? |
If nothing makes you happy, not even temporarily, then you have no idea what happiness is. You smoke weed, not to make yourself feel happy but to forget you're depressed. You have sex not because it makes you feel good, but because you want to forget how sad you are. Same with splinter cell, you just want to numb the constant feeling.
If you can’t get what makes you happy, then you go and get it. No matter what the obstacle is. If you let itty bitty things stop you from going after happiness then you don’t really want it. You just think you want it. You think it will cure your depression. But you’re unsure. In my opinion.
Whenever I feel down, I take 100$ (20s/10s) and go downtown and just give it away to the homeless. Every come Christmas I do it. It’s temporary but it feels nice.
I’m not telling you to go out and throw money away. But look for something else that might relieve your depression. I was told in grade 8 that helping others is helping yourself. And it works. For me it does.
You might have to look long and hard. You need a meaning in life. A purpose. And you’ll be happy. Love gives men a purpose.
I think anti-depressants are just placebos and they just chemically stimulate your mind into thinking you’re happy. They do something chemical in you, but I don’t think it actually cures depression. They’re like dream pills in institutions. They just numb you. |
Basically yeah, things are a distraction and thats about it.
For me to be happy, i'd have to have no worries at all. |
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WaldoJ
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Oct 2006 04:01 Post subject: |
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I would like to be told if I'm depressed.
I would like to know for sure if what I’m feeling is depression. I want to be really sure.
Ghettoized is a word. A real word. It means you’re exposed to one type of a life and are unaware of other life’s out there. It has nothing to do with ww2
| Sin317 wrote: | | I win, you lose. Or Go fuck yourself. |
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Oct 2006 04:07 Post subject: |
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delete
Last edited by pistolshrimp on Wed, 8th Nov 2006 04:23; edited 1 time in total
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[sYn]
[Moderator] Elitist
Posts: 8374
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Oct 2006 04:11 Post subject: |
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Completely agree with you pistol, although there is an obvious line between "feeling depressed (sad)" and "being depressed (the illness)".. Still, its certainly a good pov you have, there is in almost all cases, someone worse off than you.
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SycoShaman
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Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Oct 2006 04:19 Post subject: |
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| pistolshrimp wrote: | I think the older I get the more stable my mood becomes but I have had bouts of depression. I think everyone has. The most depressed I have ever been in my life was probably as a kid. You don’t understand the subtle details of life and you have no control.
When my cousin died, I stopped becoming depressed. I kept thinking about how much worse his parents had it, in dealing with their loss. Really for me depression is a very selfish emotion because I have lots to be grateful for
If I start to feel sorry for myself I always think of how much worse my life could be. I think about all the truly sad things that other people have to deal with in their life's and it makes me feel guilty and ungrateful.
I think about a disabled person I knew when I was 17-20’s and worked at a community centre on the adapted swims for disabled. This women could only move 1 arm and a bit of the trunk of her body but she always had a smile on her face. The pool staff really gave her a hard time because they had to change her. Sometimes she would show up and the lifeguards would send her home because they said they were too busy. (Really it came out in staff meeting that they were uncomfortable changing her, she had her period sometimes) I thought it was really mean and selfish of the staff because here is this women that is stuck in a wheelchair all of the time, expect when she sleeps. I started changing her when I worked. She is a true strong person. Stronger than I will ever be. I look up to her
In my life now I try to minimise my stress my making choices that are good for me. Like dealing with my friend who I felt was taking advantage of me. After my talk with her she is a different person. ( I did do a thread on it and everybody here really helped me, esp syco)
I don’t ask for things, I do things on my own.
@vodka-redbull
I think that is awesome your wife looks great to you after giving birth.
@nouse ad syco
I never started smoking weed until I was about 22. It is not something I feel I ‘need’, Sometimes I go without smoking anything for 2-3 days even if I have it. Otherwise you get used to it and it doesn’t do what it suppose to.
(I read only up to page 1) |
I wish I could think the way you do. I dwell on whats bothering me and assume the absolute worst instead of thinking positivly.
I try to think positivly, but it just seems like im trying to fool myself...and i cant fool myself if i know thats what im doing.
I guess im naturally pessimistic and i dont think that helps you know.
You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. I could learn alot from you |
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Oct 2006 04:50 Post subject: |
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delete
Last edited by pistolshrimp on Wed, 8th Nov 2006 04:23; edited 1 time in total
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Oct 2006 09:34 Post subject: |
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Have 'environmental' depression, comes and goes. Mostly comes but thankfully past two weeks been fine cause I got job interviews coming up so need to be happy!
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Oct 2006 09:50 Post subject: |
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I haven't been depressed ever since I started Karate three years ago, and have only improved since I started Taekwon-do a year ago.
Sport rocks.
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Oct 2006 09:55 Post subject: |
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| Vodka-Redbull wrote: | | btw they proved that depression isn't a state of mind or mood but a pychic (mental) disease |
I disagree depression is largely down to a person state of mind or way of thinking and the following reasons.
Feeling of helplessness or the feeling of being out of control or life going to fast for you
To cope.
Not using your mind properly living every day doing the same boring job.
Not enough creative input or change/variety.
Lack of sleep working too hard putting stress on mind and body.
Negative feelings/emotions.
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Lutzifer
Modzilla
Posts: 12740
Location: ____________________ **** vegan zombie **** GRRAAIIINNSS _______
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Oct 2006 15:17 Post subject: |
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| WaldoJ wrote: | | I would like to know for sure if what I’m feeling is depression. I want to be really sure. |
feeling depressed and the diagnose for depression are two different things, as everybody will go through phases where life puts you in a situation to feel down or depressed for a certain amount of time.
You can check the DSM-4 criteria for depression yourself here:
http://www.falseallegations.com/dsm-dprj.htm
i googled and also found a site with depression questionaires (have only checked out the first one and that s ok'ish):
http://depression.about.com/cs/diagnosis/l/blscreenquiz.htm |
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SycoShaman
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Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Oct 2006 16:02 Post subject: |
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| pistolshrimp wrote: | Thanks sYn
Yes, there is a huge line with depression. It is either environmental or chemical . Mine is environmental perhaps. Chemical is when it is with brain chemistry, environmental is more learned behaviour I think. Prescriptions can help allot with brain chemistry. Psychotherapy can help with environmental but I hear usually people need both in order to truly help themselves.
You are right about GP’s too about not giving a shit, or having a clue about mental illness. The stories I could tell. Sometimes some doctors (more than you think) are socially retarded you know?
@syco
Perhaps you need a stronger sense of guilt.  or more inspiration? )
This women has been in the paper because she fought some disabled work subsidy, where family members can’t be paid for their services. Her dad quit his job and I know from her personally that her mom had a difficult time dealing with her disability. |
What do you mean I need a stronger sense of guilt?
If i do something to someone and i didnt mean to or they didnt deserve it, i end up feeling really guilty. Im very remorseful when i need to be.
But when it comes to inspiration, you may be right. Its hard for me to act in my best interest, for the sake of myself.
Its much easier for me to better myself if Im doing it for the sake of someone else and that person is counting on me.
I dont know why its like that. I guess maybe I dont care all that much about myself. If I dont have anyone to share myself with, whats the point in being the best person i can be?
When I say be the best person I can be i mean like cutting out the bad shit i do. Smoking, drugs (weed), partying, fighting, shit disturbing etc
I enjoy all those things to be honest with you.
But if I have someone that cares about me, i think twice before getting into a fight. Say I were to get stabbed or shot and die. I wouldnt want someone who loves me or cares about have to go through the pain of not having me around.
Know what I mean?
I just woke up. I dont think im explaining myself to well
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WaldoJ
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Oct 2006 16:13 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Oct 2006 17:10 Post subject: |
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The school is killing me, i am a bit behind on some of my projects that i gotta write about. The depressions matters because i gotta think of school like 24/7, aswell as pressure got a big part in my life aswell.
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SycoShaman
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Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Oct 2006 17:33 Post subject: |
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| Razacka2 wrote: | | The school is killing me, i am a bit behind on some of my projects that i gotta write about. The depressions matters because i gotta think of school like 24/7, aswell as pressure got a big part in my life aswell. |
Stress and pressure arent the same as being depressed dude.
Stress can lead to depression tho. They go hand in hand but arent the same, know what i mean? |
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WaldoJ
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Oct 2006 18:26 Post subject: |
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After talking over with a friend. I'm bipolar. 
| Sin317 wrote: | | I win, you lose. Or Go fuck yourself. |
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SycoShaman
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Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Oct 2006 18:35 Post subject: |
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| WaldoJ wrote: | | After talking over with a friend. I'm bipolar. |
I dont think your bi-polar man.
My dad is bi-polar and its fucked up. He can be talking calmly to you and then you make a sound or say the wrong thing and he fuckin snaps.
He doesnt try to hit me or anyone, but he'll put his hand through the wall or break something.
Bi-polar disorder is fuckin crazy man. Its scary how easily someone can snap.
I hope i never get it. I have a short fuse as it is. If i were bi-polar, i'd prolly end up in jail for beatin the shit outta someone.
You know whats funny? I have serious road rage and I dont even drive
The worst is when your in traffic and someone cuts up the shoulder and tries to sneak in...fuck i cant take that. Thats made me get outta the car once or twice |
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WaldoJ
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Oct 2006 18:47 Post subject: |
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Bipolar doesn't have to be going from happy to piss mad in an instant. I could also be going from happiness to sheer depression Something that happens to me plenty. I noticed.
I think. At least that’s how she described it. Though I’m unsure about it. I mean, a friend of mine is bipolar. He went to a doctor. He’s been told he’s bipolar and I never noticed anything about him out of the ordinary. He’s taking pills. I think. But he is depressed. More than me. I think.
Or maybe I go from depression into moments of joy.  I don’t know. Either way she said I’m bipolar. But now that I got the thing sorted out. Not really. But now I have an idea at what could be wrong with me. I’m felling all relaxed now. I feel like this whole unknown hole that’s been dragging me down for a while now has been identified and I stickied a smiley face on its nonexistent bulge of a head.
Today I woke up all happy. Not the constant happy I have when I wake up and say hello to mr. sun. But like I had a satisfied nights sleep. I woke up plenty of times during the night (chest was pounding) and felt all tiny in my bed. Hehe. I looked at my desk (which is right by my bed [literally]) and it felt like it was soooo far away that I’d have to stretch to reach for something. Hehe. I liked that.
| Sin317 wrote: | | I win, you lose. Or Go fuck yourself. |
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nouseforaname
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SycoShaman
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Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Oct 2006 19:16 Post subject: |
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| WaldoJ wrote: | Bipolar doesn't have to be going from happy to piss mad in an instant. I could also be going from happiness to sheer depression Something that happens to me plenty. I noticed.
I think. At least that’s how she described it. Though I’m unsure about it. I mean, a friend of mine is bipolar. He went to a doctor. He’s been told he’s bipolar and I never noticed anything about him out of the ordinary. He’s taking pills. I think. But he is depressed. More than me. I think.
Or maybe I go from depression into moments of joy. I don’t know. Either way she said I’m bipolar. But now that I got the thing sorted out. Not really. But now I have an idea at what could be wrong with me. I’m felling all relaxed now. I feel like this whole unknown hole that’s been dragging me down for a while now has been identified and I stickied a smiley face on its nonexistent bulge of a head.
Today I woke up all happy. Not the constant happy I have when I wake up and say hello to mr. sun. But like I had a satisfied nights sleep. I woke up plenty of times during the night (chest was pounding) and felt all tiny in my bed. Hehe. I looked at my desk (which is right by my bed [literally]) and it felt like it was soooo far away that I’d have to stretch to reach for something. Hehe. I liked that. |
I know bi-polar comes in different ways. I was just trying to illustrate the extreme mood swings and shit.
I think mood swings are normal to a certain degree. Im the same way. Some days I will be able to deal with my stress and issues and shit. And other days I have a rough time and freak out.
Its good that you wake up happy sometimes. Right there i would say that it means your not clinically depressed.
I havent woken up happy in a very long time. Well, I do, but then i realize the dream wasnt real and it puts me in a bad mood.
Maybe nothing is wrong with you and your just a normal 20 year old?
I wasnt a normal 20 year old so I cant tell you if thats the case or not |
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WaldoJ
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Oct 2006 19:30 Post subject: |
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I don't think I really need it.
Sy, I don't think I'm at all normal. And if I am normal then everyone around me is crazy!
| Sin317 wrote: | | I win, you lose. Or Go fuck yourself. |
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nouseforaname
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Oct 2006 19:34 Post subject: |
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[sYn]
[Moderator] Elitist
Posts: 8374
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Oct 2006 19:36 Post subject: |
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Bi-Polar disorder comes in many forms, but the key trait is the episodic nature off the illness. Episodes of both Mania (extreme happiness/energy/hyperactivity) and Depression (very deep depressive thoughts) can last for decades, years, months, weeks, days, hours or even seconds.. But to be diagnosed as a bi-polar you are required to suffer from both  ..
Like Syco said, being bi-polar is fucking hell on earth and is usually treated using medication (beta blockers I believe) that simply numbs all feeling.. as its the only way to bring balance to the person. You end up being a shell, never happy, never sad, never angry.. never anything. But in most cases this is a far better option than being un-medicated.
Also being clinically depressed doesn't always mean you have to wake up depressed, again it can be episodic, but there is no mania, only depressed and everything else.
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Oct 2006 19:39 Post subject: |
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| WaldoJ wrote: |
I don't think I really need it.
Sy, I don't think I'm at all normal. And if I am normal then everyone around me is crazy! |
I think your a thinker and more sensitive than most guys your age. Thats not a bad thing either. If you work it right, its great when gettin women
True, you may not be normal in the sense that you dont stand out. But i dont think your like what you think your like... did that make any sense?
Maybe what you and I think is normal isnt normal? It would suck being like everyone else anyway. |
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ChinUp
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SycoShaman
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Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Oct 2006 19:42 Post subject: |
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| [sYn] wrote: | Bi-Polar disorder comes in many forms, but the key trait is the episodic nature off the illness. Episodes of both Mania (extreme happiness/energy/hyperactivity) and Depression (very deep depressive thoughts) can last for decades, years, months, weeks, days, hours or even seconds.. But to be diagnosed as a bi-polar you are required to suffer from both ..
Like Syco said, being bi-polar is fucking hell on earth and is usually treated using medication (beta blockers I believe) that simply numbs all feeling.. as its the only way to bring balance to the person. You end up being a shell, never happy, never sad, never angry.. never anything. But in most cases this is a far better option than being un-medicated.
Also being clinically depressed doesn't always mean you have to wake up depressed, again it can be episodic, but there is no mania, only depressed and everything else. |
Wouldnt depression mean that you have no happy thoughts?
Ive been told by my doctor that Im clinically depressed and stressed to the max. Im basing my definition on my experience you know?
If you go through episodes, wouldnt it be more a mood swing than depression? Dont most people have their sad days and their happy days? i dont think thats depression
I swear, I feel like im on that medication you described...my head is...weird. I cant think and articulate for some reason  |
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