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doobzilla
Posts: 1099
Location: Team America's Mount Rushmore Base. Stolen from Indians.
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 Posted: Tue, 22nd Jan 2013 16:14 Post subject: |
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Insane bitches = awesome sex.
Go ahead, argue against my logic, you are wrong and you know it.
Of course:
Time(awesome sex + insane bitches) = murderous rage/possible jail time
Hobo Zombie: TRAAAAAAAIIIINNNNNNSSSSSS
Woman Zombie: COMPLAAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNNSSSSS
Englishmen Zombie: REFRAAAAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNSSSSS
Thanks for the idea Lutz!
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| Posted: Tue, 22nd Jan 2013 16:27 Post subject: |
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| doobzilla wrote: | Insane bitches = awesome sex.
Go ahead, argue against my logic, you are wrong and you know it.
Of course:
Time(awesome sex + insane bitches) = murderous rage/possible jail time |
Hey I'm all for banging insane bitches, matter of fact they're great in bed. But a relationship with one? Hehehe not in a million years.
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ixigia
[Moderator] Consigliere
Posts: 65105
Location: Italy
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| Posted: Tue, 22nd Jan 2013 17:57 Post subject: |
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| FireMaster wrote: | | ixigia wrote: | Could be that she's not ready yet and needs some time, which is very understandable if you ask me.  I wouldn't push her, it's an incredibly important decision after all.. |
Don't encourage that beta shit, I would expect more from you, my testosteronio.
Best answer I or anyone can give OP is to forget her ass and find someone who shows some fucking respect for you. Why guys forget that there's PLENTY of fish in the sea is beyond me.. |
Haha I know that it's hard to believe but I've got a tender heart  and (surprisingly) a lot of patience when it comes to stuff like this. Being understanding can be a double edged knife at times, but if you can handle it good enough, it's a powerful weapon 
That said, fhitb xD |
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Karmeck
Posts: 3350
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Thu, 24th Jan 2013 19:03 Post subject: |
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to tell or not to tell.
Before we separated we had all her mails forwarded to me as she never looks in her inbox. Now she don't know how to take that away. Now I have seen e-mails that give me the information that she needs help at home and now that help will come later than she had thought.
Now do I tell her that I have seen thees emails and offer my help? Or offer my help acting like I have not seen thees emails or do nothing at all.
A little background info is that she has a disability that some times make it so she cant walk on her own, I had to help her almost every day to get to the toilet and back. She also have something wrong with her hands so she cant do the dishes. And some time she just start to choke and need water to make it go away, thing is she cant walk while this is going on.
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| Posted: Thu, 24th Jan 2013 19:23 Post subject: |
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Thats tough.... imo you are not breaking her privacy, as you both agreed before to forward them to your account, now to tell her or not, that is up to how she is, what you know of her, would she expect help even in tough times between you? is she the kind of person who is really proud and would reject help from someone that is in discordance with her?
In my case i would feel im not breaking privacy, as i know i have an issue and im working on it, if i see something go in the inbox, i open it because its in my email, and i see a need for help, ill worry and i will approach them because im worried and without second intentions, you cant ignore being worried since i guess you are. You know ur own situation better, you probably know her better. But if ur worried, you arent breaking her privacy (so to say...) and you are worried enough to wanna help, offering it would be a sane good thing one may think.
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Karmeck
Posts: 3350
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Thu, 24th Jan 2013 19:35 Post subject: |
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That´s the thing, with us separating maybe she want to be more independent, but on the other hand she always talked about how she wanted help at home even when we lived together.
She always asked for help then she needed it and I was always happy to help. So I think im gonna ask her. But she still tells me that she want to wait before I get to visit her were she lives. Me helping her would include me going inside her home.
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| Posted: Thu, 24th Jan 2013 20:36 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Thu, 24th Jan 2013 20:38 Post subject: |
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Well im the kind of person who lived his whole teenage assuming everything about everything, trying to guess and judge etc.... didnt quite work for me, hence why i prefer to ask directly, be clear, talk openly etc... i see no harm in offering help if you noticed that she needs it, all in all she may be scared of your behaviour sometimes while arguing but i dont think that if you always helped her willingly and with care she would reject it now. Hope it works out, people are so complicated and noone really knows all the details in situations.
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Invasor
Moderator
Posts: 7638
Location: On the road
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Karmeck
Posts: 3350
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Sat, 26th Jan 2013 20:29 Post subject: |
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Invasor
Moderator
Posts: 7638
Location: On the road
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| Posted: Sun, 27th Jan 2013 12:50 Post subject: |
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Ahhhh fuck, another possible mental issue pinned on me.
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Badrien
Posts: 2118
Location: Netherlands
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| Posted: Sun, 27th Jan 2013 19:01 Post subject: |
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| doobzilla wrote: | Insane bitches = awesome sex.
Go ahead, argue against my logic, you are wrong and you know it.
Of course:
Time(awesome sex + insane bitches) = murderous rage/possible jail time |
True-er words might never have been spoken
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doobzilla
Posts: 1099
Location: Team America's Mount Rushmore Base. Stolen from Indians.
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| Posted: Mon, 28th Jan 2013 15:05 Post subject: |
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edit: removed
Hobo Zombie: TRAAAAAAAIIIINNNNNNSSSSSS
Woman Zombie: COMPLAAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNNSSSSS
Englishmen Zombie: REFRAAAAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNSSSSS
Thanks for the idea Lutz!
Last edited by doobzilla on Mon, 8th Apr 2013 19:12; edited 1 time in total
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| Posted: Tue, 29th Jan 2013 03:57 Post subject: |
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Yes, I was one too.
Love this line | Quote: | | but hidden beneath the surface {niceness} , there is a simmering cauldron of conflict, rage and resentment. |
I think there are certain perks in relationships. Being there unconditionally for them after a split isn't one of them.
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Karmeck
Posts: 3350
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Tue, 29th Jan 2013 19:49 Post subject: |
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| doobzilla wrote: | I know that, personally, a lot of my anger issues come from the fact that I come from an alcoholic family (my dad is in recovery, my mother is not) and that they chose their drink and their drugs over me when I was much younger.
In my adult life, my anger stems from being a people pleaser and the fact that most people don't ever notice the things that I go out of my way to do for them. Yet, I tend to be an inventory taking son of a bitch when it comes to what they do for me.
Case in point:
My (quasi)ex used to hardly ever say thanks for dinner, but I always went out of my way to say thanks for anything and everything that she did for me (which wasn't a lot toward the end). Since I always took note of everything that she did for me and she didn't hardly notice anything that I did for her (like how I would take some Saturdays off and clean the house so that, when she got home on Sunday from her mother's, she would come home to a clean house), I became quite resentful and, since I'm not necessarily a mean person, I kept a lot of it to myself and eventually it came pouring out in the form of raging at inanimate objects.
Now, I just don't do so much for her or anyone else and I'm a much happier person. I always thought that I was living by the philosophy of: If you try to make everyone happy, YOU'LL NEVER BE HAPPY. That couldn't have been further from the truth and I definitely suffered for it.
One of the first things that I did after she moved out was to take a personal inventory of what it is that I want out of a relationship and what I'm willing to accept. I figured out that I need a partner, not just someone who helps keep the bed warm (i.e. a sperm receptacle).
I also figured out that I do too much for other people (including writing all of this for a complete stranger...  ), but I've learned to realize that, when I do something for someone, I shouldn't always expect something in return (unless you're Italian...  ). I wish that I had realized these things sooner, but if I had, I probably wouldn't have had the experiences that I've had that have led me to be who/what I am today. |
We are much alike you and I. Like you I did things for those around me and always wanted something back. Usually don't get it and be silently angry about it.
Thank you for sharing.
Now I talked to one of her friends today and they had met last week. And at that time she had told her friend that she still loved me, so she is not just telling me that she loves me to be nice. But still she cant live with me due to my anger.
Now we have met and I have come to understand how she thinks about this. We have to stop love each other like before so that we can start loving each other again in a new way. This love can start then we both have our lives back together she says. We now have regular day´s then we go to the Gym together. So we are now trying to be just friends.
She still cries then talking about still loving me.
I feel better now. I still want to live with her but maybe this friend thing is part of giving her or even us some time to think.
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| Posted: Tue, 29th Jan 2013 20:45 Post subject: |
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Good to hear all that, in life we must recognize our mistakes and understand others, sometimes what we see as right can damage someone, sometimes we dont notice it, but its good to always communicate clearly, seems it worked for you and the path u have taken together seems nice, it seems right. Hope it all works out and you can learn about yourself to leave anger behind.
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| Posted: Tue, 29th Jan 2013 21:16 Post subject: |
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My brother has had anger spells all his life and yeah, it can get annoying when he has a sudden burst of anger.
On the other hand, these spells don't take three years to figure out. In fact, within a month or two it should already be obvious, not after 3 bloody years. If it takes you that long to discover it annoys you, you have to be pretty bloody retarded. But oh wait, this is women we talk about, the creatures who think they can "change" a man. *facepalms*
She should have made it clear that it bothered her a long time ago - you could have sought help back then. Instead she left without a word - screw logic, screw trying to fix or work on a relationship. It's the same with women staying with men who beat them - don't expect logic.
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Karmeck
Posts: 3350
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Thu, 7th Feb 2013 21:15 Post subject: |
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2 days and 2 nights
So I just came home after sleeping at her place for 2 nights. It all started then her phone started turning of randomly so she wanted to buy a new one but had no money. It all ended with me lending her 500$ for a new phone.
But the big thing is that she let me get to come visit her apartment. And then we got there she asked me to cut her pussy hair. This was something I have done before we separated but it was still hard for her to ask me to do it.
Then she also let me sleep over on the couch. The day after i got back to her and she had no problem being with me then i was taking a shower. After shower we plaid some board games until we had to go to sleep.
So the friend part is going well. I feel much better now.
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| Posted: Thu, 7th Feb 2013 21:34 Post subject: |
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| Karmeck wrote: | | And then we got there she asked me to cut her pussy hair. |
Ok let me be immature a bit.  i NEVER expected to hear something like this, EVER lol.
Ok back, i guess thats because of her physical problem, and that actually means a LOT and i mean a LOT of trust, holy she must really trust and know u. It really warms me up to read this, good for you mate, im actually envious! im having a rough patch again since recently ive really been stressed and ive been really boring and dry to my gf, i get pissed a lot, i gotta rethink shit up and take ur example.
Hope you can close up those chapters and restart a better relationship, life is really short and jumping around isnt the kind of thing that will actually make ur life better. Unless its a bad relationship lol. Keep enjoying life and make it sweeter, congrats.
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doobzilla
Posts: 1099
Location: Team America's Mount Rushmore Base. Stolen from Indians.
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| Posted: Thu, 7th Feb 2013 21:44 Post subject: |
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edit: removed
Hobo Zombie: TRAAAAAAAIIIINNNNNNSSSSSS
Woman Zombie: COMPLAAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNNSSSSS
Englishmen Zombie: REFRAAAAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNSSSSS
Thanks for the idea Lutz!
Last edited by doobzilla on Mon, 8th Apr 2013 19:46; edited 1 time in total
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Karmeck
Posts: 3350
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Thu, 7th Feb 2013 22:19 Post subject: |
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She ask if I could help and i said that I could (and I can). And at the end of the first day it got so late so I ask if I really had to go home, she said no.
Why did I lend her money? I know how she gets then there is a problem with her phone and I want her to be as happy as she can right now and with something as trivial as money, if I can help I will.
Right now I see us as those special friends that can really do anything together just not sex, kissing.
We do talk about our relationship and one thing we thought of was that we never really got to know each other before we started being together. So all this is kinda happening backwards now.
We also decided to not talk about our time together for a few weeks to really give this friend thing a chance.
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tonizito
VIP Member
Posts: 51463
Location: Portugal, the shithole of Europe.
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| Posted: Thu, 7th Feb 2013 22:27 Post subject: |
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Did you lend her the $500 or did you "lend" her the $500 (as in kissing them goodbye)?
| boundle (thoughts on cracking AITD) wrote: | | i guess thouth if without a legit key the installation was rolling back we are all fucking then |
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Karmeck
Posts: 3350
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Thu, 7th Feb 2013 22:32 Post subject: |
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She is getting money soon. She get about 1500$ a month for basically being disabled.
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tonizito
VIP Member
Posts: 51463
Location: Portugal, the shithole of Europe.
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| Posted: Thu, 7th Feb 2013 22:59 Post subject: |
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Oh.
Sorry if my post/question seemed to focus on money alone but I've seen that happen with people I know.
Got strung out on the "let's be friends" deal, asked for money and then laid off 
Both men and women BTW.
| boundle (thoughts on cracking AITD) wrote: | | i guess thouth if without a legit key the installation was rolling back we are all fucking then |
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Fri, 8th Feb 2013 03:55 Post subject: |
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| Karmeck wrote: | | She is getting money soon. She get about 1500$ a month for basically being disabled. |
Sorry, I'm joining the conversation late and don't have the time to read 4 pages.
I take you broke up and now you have to pay alimony? To the tune of $1500/Month?
That fucking SUCKS! So unfair if this is indeed the case.
Whats her disability? She isn't one of those women who claim a peanut allergy is a disability in the sense you could park in handicapped zones or such similar things? |
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| Posted: Fri, 8th Feb 2013 04:21 Post subject: |
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No no no, she has a disability and it seems that due to her condition she gets help, but it isnt from him as far as ive understood. No alimony etc...
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| Posted: Fri, 8th Feb 2013 07:20 Post subject: |
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I must admit that the "let's be friends line" is one that I've never ever seen work out well. Right now, there's two girls I still know who I used to be close with and the only time I hear from them when they want to drag out the "we're friends right" argument, is when they need me. Every other time, when I want to chat with them or hang out with them, it's basically a very short conversation that's going nowhere just dies a short death.
If it works for you, Karmeck, then good for you but if there's one thing I know, it's that it's hard to be friends when deep down you still expect it to become more again which is what a lot of guys do. They agree with being friends thinking maybe it will rekindle the fire but to be honest, I've never ever seen that happen. Quite the opposite is true: the girl then starts to date other guys and then it makes you bitter and resentful and it becomes a pretty ugly mess. Especially when you start to realise that you've become a tool for them and not a real friend (which is what happens to almost every guy who becomes a friend after a relationship).
A friend of mine split up with his 3-year girlfriend - she and a male friend of hers stayed at his place for over a year where he paid for it all (she nor her friend had a job) and basically he felt they were taking advantage of him since the friend didn't get along with him and his gf basically always sided with that friend in a fight. He still had feelings for her, though, but he couldn't live like that and made her choose between him and her friend - yep, she chose the friend.
Anyway, they broke up and she moved back in with another friend and ended up moving several times during the following year. During this time, she asked my friend to be friends and the only time he heard from her, was when she needed him for something (sounds familiar?). Then one day she found a new boyfriend and moved in with him - and invited my friend over to meet the new boyfriend. It took him less than 5 minutes to realize she was just rubbing his face in it - they were constantly kissing, teasing each other, making sexual innuendos at each other. It was like to say "hey, look, my new boyfriend is so awesome!". When he left, he closed the door and moved on so at least it did some good.
What I'm trying to say is: you'll never be a real friend after a relationship (unless the relationship didn't run deep). She sided with her friend = he was a real friend. Him being her friend after the relationship = a tool, to be used by her.
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