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ClaudeFTW
Posts: 5074
Location: Bucharest, Romania
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 Posted: Mon, 5th Jan 2015 10:27 Post subject: Been holding this in for a while. |
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Prior to Christmas, actually, prior to my birthday, my good friend and neighbor kept telling me some guy kept visiting while I was away. Thinking the best of my girlfriend, I dismissed it as maybe some guy visiting for some photography bullshit since she's working from home. But my neighbor kept insisting. So I stay home a day or two, to "relax". She's visibly nervous, someone keeps calling her and she gets even more on the edge. The gears start turning in my head at this point, I'm like what the hell, this isn't Mihaela, she's a good girl. Actually, she's not, since I came home earlier one day and guess who was JUST exiting the shower. The one for which I am indebted to fucking banks for because she couldn't get a credit since her work is freelance and most of the stuff she's doing is not taxed. Anyway, this guy was like a deer staring down some headlights, he was fucking 1.60, I think, while I'm 1.80. He was fucked. He knew it, I knew it, she knew it, but I would do that for good pussy too. So my wrath was directed towards her. I understand her, somewhat, since I was gone pretty much all day putting in additional hours at work but I never thought she'd do this. I mean, we have so much history together, and she's been by my side through so much shit it made it even harder to believe. Needless to say, she moved out after bawling her eyes out for maybe two days but I stood my ground. It's been much easier than I imagined this scenario to be but to be honest, I am on the edge all the freaking time and everything pisses me off in an instant. Been drinking my nights, alone, or playing World of Tanks. There's a girl at work I fancy, but to be honest, I think it would be too early and I'd be too damaged to even pursue dating her. Other than that, I am absolutely broke because now I need to live alone in this shitty house and pay for everything by myself. Had to cancel my order for the upgrade I had in mind a while ago because I had to pay for shit and for Christmas I ate some frozen pizza bought from the local store. What's worse is that I know I should have a worse reaction...but I don't. I'm fucking numb and I don't even know what I have to do about it. Fuck, even writing this was easy as hell and I kept seeing myself saying all of it out loud with a smile to someone as if it's a story. I feel this isn't normal.
R7 2700x @4GHz / MSI B450 Tomahawk / beQuiet! Dark Rock 4 / 32GB @3000 MHz / MSI RTX 2060 Gaming Z / Samsung 850 EVO 250GB / Western Digital 1TB / Fractal Design Meshify C Dark / SuperFlower Leadex Gold 650W / DELL whatever 27 inch IPS
I usually stream stuff: http://www.twitch.tv/claudeftw
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Morphineus
VIP Member
Posts: 24883
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Jan 2015 10:40 Post subject: |
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I'm sorry to hear Claude, it's one of the worst pains one can feel in love.
I think you did the right thing, even be the better man to have some understanding and not even focusing on the guy. I'm not sure I or many of us could do that.
At first, make sure you are okay and are through all the phases one goes with a break up like this before you pursue anyone else. It might make you feel better in the short time to 'jump on another horse', but it won't help in the long term and most likely will hurt others.
I hope the financial situation gets better, maybe even look out for another place to rent that suits your income. It can do a lot in such situations. At least I always had the attitude and thought of living by my income and it has worked out fine so far.
For the rest I'd also advise to not drink alone, it might become a habit and well... it's not healthy. If you are not an introvert, try to meet up with friends and family. I think I remember you talking of a good relationship with your sister, so talk about these things.
And know the hump is always here for you when you have harder times or need someone to talk to.
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Jan 2015 10:55 Post subject: |
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| ClaudeFTW wrote: | | I understand her, somewhat, since I was gone pretty much all day putting in additional hours at work but I never thought she'd do this. |
You were on the mark with everything you said except this. There is no way or reason for you to justify your SO cheating on you.
Morphy has got it right and I should repeat that you should stay single for a while and spend some time with friends/family.
Oh and you should also be this guy:
 
1 and 2 are still amazing. |
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ClaudeFTW
Posts: 5074
Location: Bucharest, Romania
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Jan 2015 10:56 Post subject: |
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Thanks for the kind words, mate. As for the jumping back on the horse part, I absolutely agree. To be honest, I don't really care for the financial part all that much since I can scrape by, I guess, it's not that uncommon here. Maybe I can rent my other room to some student or something since it's my property and I'm not with rent, but I still have to the monthly payment to do at the bank. Anyway, I stopped drinking all day about a month ago, I guess, I mostly sunk my free time in World of Tanks, it's oddly satisfying. As for my sister, I'm proud to say she's been my anchor, if it weren't for her, I'm pretty sure I'd have been much, much, MUCH worse. Her and my brother in law, but especially her. I also met a few nice persons at the new job so I've been hanging out with them recently, they're really awesome and we have our little group which makes time at work fly by and we also manage to be productive while doing so. All in all, it could have been much worse, I guess, but my heart is still broken and I am still numb, I felt like venting here since you've all been very, very understanding every time I had to.
R7 2700x @4GHz / MSI B450 Tomahawk / beQuiet! Dark Rock 4 / 32GB @3000 MHz / MSI RTX 2060 Gaming Z / Samsung 850 EVO 250GB / Western Digital 1TB / Fractal Design Meshify C Dark / SuperFlower Leadex Gold 650W / DELL whatever 27 inch IPS
I usually stream stuff: http://www.twitch.tv/claudeftw
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garus
VIP Member
Posts: 34197
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Jan 2015 11:55 Post subject: |
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snip
Last edited by garus on Tue, 27th Aug 2024 21:44; edited 1 time in total
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Jan 2015 12:13 Post subject: |
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Ah man that sucks.
Good to see at least you kept your cool i guess. I went through the same shit when i was 21. Just rented a place with my gf and bought all new stuff and such to find out she cheated on me with one of my best friends in the first fucking week of living together. I couldn't keep my cool and drove 20km to beat the shit out of my former friend and broke my hand on 2 places. It doesnt really help when you get into a fucked situation and you can't even game.
Empty again 
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Jan 2015 12:18 Post subject: |
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well from my seat, having a cool head, i can tell you this.
1' if you have a long history together and she was along side you for every shit life trowed at you, take her out, and listen her reasons. was 1' time, was a shit thing and she know it and so. personally i would probably not trust her in years after this, but i may forgive, depending on the reason's, sincerity, and feelings.
2' you said that you can understand her, so you admit you have some wrong priorityes in your life. well, even if you dont get back with her, change your life. work should not ever be on the top 3 things on your list. you will go if you are not already there in a hell circle, where to raise the money you need by working 12+h /day. which is a shit life. (from my pov).
best of luck.
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Jan 2015 13:51 Post subject: |
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u got good neighbours, man in your own fucking house ... but ye fuck that gold digger ho, fuck alcohol just play some games, watch some series and then start fresh, maybe go for a run, lift some weights, u would be amazed how much confidence u get from doing some lifting to go out and find new love
wot gets ma raging a little bit to much these days, if we win battles, all good but once tomatos start doing dumb shit, shit starty flying around my desk 
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tonizito
VIP Member
Posts: 51460
Location: Portugal, the shithole of Europe.
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Jan 2015 14:14 Post subject: |
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Damn.
But buy some beers for that neighbor I'd say, guy's definitely got your back
| boundle (thoughts on cracking AITD) wrote: | | i guess thouth if without a legit key the installation was rolling back we are all fucking then |
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zmed
Posts: 9234
Location: Orbanistan
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Jan 2015 14:27 Post subject: |
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Sorry to hear it mate. I had my fair share of heartache lately, but nothing compared to this. Keep strong!
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Jan 2015 14:44 Post subject: |
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Focus on the little things. Try to break problems down in small portions. One step at a time. Hold on to your balls for a rough ride and at some point you will start to feel better. Good luck man.
Per Ardua Ad Astra
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Jan 2015 14:51 Post subject: |
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i dont think he should be the one the make the move to make up with her, that nees to come from her, or she has leverage and might think she is to important for u and has u under her spell.
If there is no signs of her wanting to make amends, move on for sure. As she is way over u and would do it again i would say.
Any else with thaughts or other experiences when it comes to cheating girlfriends but still have feelings and wanting to work it our processes ?
Id dig into this guy , see what he is about, some guys just know how to push any womans buttons, and love the thrill of a woman in a relationship, she could have fallen for his bullshit. Never know, worth checking into and making his life miserable any easy way u can.
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tonizito
VIP Member
Posts: 51460
Location: Portugal, the shithole of Europe.
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Jan 2015 15:02 Post subject: |
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| PickupArtist wrote: | i dont think he should be the one the make the move to make up with her, that nees to come from her, or she has leverage and might think she is to important for u and has u under her spell.
If there is no signs of her wanting to make amends, move on for sure. As she is way over u and would do it again i would say.
Any else with thaughts or other experiences when it comes to cheating girlfriends but still have feelings and wanting to work it our processes ?
Id dig into this guy , see what he is about, some guys just know how to push any womans buttons, and love the thrill of a woman in a relationship, she could have fallen for his bullshit. Never know, worth checking into and making his life miserable any easy way u can. |
Making amends for cheating over him several times on their bed, in their house?
Can't speak for Claude, but for me shit would be DONE, period.
But I don't think that anticasper was suggesting for him to speak with her.
| boundle (thoughts on cracking AITD) wrote: | | i guess thouth if without a legit key the installation was rolling back we are all fucking then |
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ClaudeFTW
Posts: 5074
Location: Bucharest, Romania
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Jan 2015 15:20 Post subject: |
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Thanks for the kind words, guys. As for getting back, fuck no. I just built up the courage to actually talk about it in public, since this happened around my birthday, back in November (great present, bitch). Besides, I am much more content with the new friends I met at work and I'd like to keep it that way for a while.
Oh, and I should also mention she tried to slink back by gifting me a phone for my birthday. Said thanks, took it, closed the door.
R7 2700x @4GHz / MSI B450 Tomahawk / beQuiet! Dark Rock 4 / 32GB @3000 MHz / MSI RTX 2060 Gaming Z / Samsung 850 EVO 250GB / Western Digital 1TB / Fractal Design Meshify C Dark / SuperFlower Leadex Gold 650W / DELL whatever 27 inch IPS
I usually stream stuff: http://www.twitch.tv/claudeftw
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Jan 2015 15:33 Post subject: |
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I'm terribly sorry for you Claude, I know only too well this kind of sting and I have nothing but sympathy for you. Really.. this is a terrible situation and I feel awful for you
As for the few suggesting "hear her out", "give her a chance", "listen", "take her back"
No. Fuck that. Once a cheat, ALWAYS a cheat. The fact that she thinks so little of you that she'd fuck someone behind your back, and not just a single time either - which is evil but *perhaps* forgiveable - but constant. Constant fucking someone else, in your home, in your bed, while you're out at work providing for her and building a life together?
No. Fuck that. You deserve better.
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garus
VIP Member
Posts: 34197
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Jan 2015 15:43 Post subject: |
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snip
Last edited by garus on Tue, 27th Aug 2024 21:44; edited 1 time in total
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(Nexus)
Posts: 2807
Location: 192.168.1.72
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harry_theone
Posts: 11240
Location: The Land of Thread Reports
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Jan 2015 16:12 Post subject: |
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| sabin1981 wrote: | I'm terribly sorry for you Claude, I know only too well this kind of sting and I have nothing but sympathy for you. Really.. this is a terrible situation and I feel awful for you
As for the few suggesting "hear her out", "give her a chance", "listen", "take her back"
No. Fuck that. Once a cheat, ALWAYS a cheat. The fact that she thinks so little of you that she'd fuck someone behind your back, and not just a single time either - which is evil but *perhaps* forgiveable - but constant. Constant fucking someone else, in your home, in your bed, while you're out at work providing for her and building a life together?
No. Fuck that. You deserve better. |
All of this, kind of the same thing happened to me shortly after New Years. Just no in-depth relationship but 2,3 Months. It's hard at first, but you'll have to move on, some people are not worth pursuing for.
They keep saying or acting like they'd change, but they never do. Let someone else deal with that shit.
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Jan 2015 16:43 Post subject: |
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I'm sorry for you.
If you want we can play some WoT together in a platoon.
| Lutzifer wrote: | | and yes, mine is only average |
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Jan 2015 16:54 Post subject: |
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35 and rocking it, no responsabilities, no drama, no worries, no stress, sometimes u would think the world wants to to have kids just so rich people can have u under their thumb cause all of a sudden u have all these bills and fake 'what do others think of me' to worry about and have to do as they say to keep ur job
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WaldoJ
VIP Member
Posts: 32678
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Jan 2015 17:21 Post subject: |
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*hugs* i know that feel...
i do i do
but i managed to pull through and so will you
| Sin317 wrote: | | I win, you lose. Or Go fuck yourself. |
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Jan 2015 17:58 Post subject: |
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Truly frightening thought, hope you are doing better now claude!
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Aeon
Posts: 8701
Location: Netherlands
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Jan 2015 19:44 Post subject: |
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Sorry to hear it mate. What a bitch she is, you think you can trust eachother for a hundred percent, but then you get this crap. But you'll get there mate, from what you told in this topic you'll manage yourself!
Intel i7 6700K, RTX470 Super, Kingston HyperX Fury 32GB
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Goon
Banned
Posts: 980
Location: Beyond the invisible
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Jan 2015 21:04 Post subject: |
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Man, that sucks. Like why cheat ... If the relationship does not work, why not tell your partner that. Instead ride a horse with one ass and use your partner like that ... thats just mean ...
Im the guy who "Shitting up world news", according to admin, so watch out ...
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Invasor
Moderator
Posts: 7638
Location: On the road
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Jan 2015 22:01 Post subject: |
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Yiou didn't clock her in the face, that makes you a saint. Also, you dropped her like a hot potato, that makes you a man with self-esteem, forget that filthy skank whore. At least she didn't give you any disease by sleeping around like an animal in heat, I guess?
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Jan 2015 22:30 Post subject: |
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| sabin1981 wrote: | | No. Fuck that. Once a cheat, ALWAYS a cheat. |
I agree. How are you even going to fully trust her again not to repeat it. You'll always have in the back of your mind that worry that she might be cheating on you and it will only lead to pain and suffering.
So do yourself a solid and just let it go.
| Stormwolf wrote: | | (Nexus) wrote: | Most women are like this, my ex was the same. When you date someone women always say the same thing "men are always walking behind their dicks". Well guess what ? the womens are spreading their legs even faster. To be honest i am a happy single man, 28 years old and i don't even want to think about a relationship, always afraid of this story.
Anyway I really know how you freel Claude, i really do. I hope you meet a nice person in the future that does not do stuff like this. I know this sounds hard, but don't give your (ex) girlfriend a second chance. She already betrayed you many times and she is not worth your time.
You deserve better!, good luck with everything mate  |
28 here and i don't even want to think about having a gf. Getting regular pussy is not worth the baggage. Single life with my long time partner (right hand) is sufficient! |
I'm glad that you're happy. Personally after getting together with my girlfriend I'm much more happy. Not only because regular sex but because I live with my best friend and someone I can share just about anything with. I don't know quite how to describe it but it's honestly a really great feeling (and I was single til I was about your age). |
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