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Rofl_Mao
Posts: 3187
Location: Nederland
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 Posted: Fri, 12th Nov 2010 19:20 Post subject: Log jam @toilet |
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I have a rather inconvenient inconvenience. If you do not want to lose your appetite I might suggest you stop reading now 
Often my poo is too large to fit through the hole in the toilet. When I flush, it gets stuck and the toilet is clogged. So every time I have to unclog the toilet. Which generally involves "doing" something with the poo  I.e. grabbing a stick and poking in the hole until the toilet can be flushed normally again.
I haven't really found a way to prevent the clogging of the toilet. The best way would be to produce smaller poo... unfortunately my bowels aren't very cooperative. The other option is to break the poo in smaller portions. That's very effective, but also immensely gross. Poos are not meant to be split in parts: the odour from within is absolutely evil.
The poo itself is very healthy, that's not the problem. I eat a large amount of fibre, drink 2L of water a day and I have regular daily exercise. Yet still my bowels insist on producing an awkward log of about 30-40cm. I know it sounds disgusting to inspect one's own poo, but your feces can actually tell you a great deal about your own health. I guess everyone's poo is unique, like your teeth.
| Lopin18 wrote: | I think you played too much Fallout 3, Pedo Perk acquired.  |
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TSR69
Banned
Posts: 14962
Location: Republic of the Seven United Provinces
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| Posted: Fri, 12th Nov 2010 19:27 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Fri, 12th Nov 2010 19:36 Post subject: |
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So..... Do you have like a poo covered stick that you keep around just for splitting logs...or do you need to find a fresh stick on every occurrence?
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Rofl_Mao
Posts: 3187
Location: Nederland
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| Posted: Fri, 12th Nov 2010 20:18 Post subject: |
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| Spazmotic wrote: | | So..... Do you have like a poo covered stick that you keep around just for splitting logs...or do you need to find a fresh stick on every occurrence? |
Good question...
I have a bamboo shrub in the back yard and always keep a couple of sticks handy. Throwing the stick away without making a mess is kind of a hassle
| Lopin18 wrote: | | I think you played too much Fallout 3, Pedo Perk acquired. |
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| Posted: Fri, 12th Nov 2010 21:15 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Fri, 12th Nov 2010 21:38 Post subject: |
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Last edited by Yondaime on Mon, 2nd Dec 2024 15:50; edited 1 time in total
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Rofl_Mao
Posts: 3187
Location: Nederland
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| Posted: Fri, 12th Nov 2010 22:16 Post subject: |
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| Yondaime wrote: | Just gonna ask an obvious question:
Ever thought of pooing more frequently and not saving up huge amounts? 
Now I'm going to leave this thread, forget all about it and let the next innocent person handle it from here. |
Sadly the digestion doesn't work that way, in my case at least. I gotta poo when I gotta poo. No sooner and no later. Sure I can sit on the toilet and push, but nothing comes out. I just have to wait for that one special moment.
But now that you mention it I COULD speed up the bowel movements. I'm using a safe laxative Movicolon, and I could just use it more frequently.
HOWEVER... more laxative means more gas. And most people around me don't really appreciate my toxic fumes. More Movicolon also makes for a more liquid poo, which means I have to use much more toilet paper to clean my bumbum.
So more using more laxative doesn't seam appealing to me.
| Lopin18 wrote: | | I think you played too much Fallout 3, Pedo Perk acquired. |
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Rofl_Mao
Posts: 3187
Location: Nederland
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| Posted: Fri, 12th Nov 2010 22:19 Post subject: |
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| wizarD. wrote: | | CONTACT MANSCAT.COM |
Good thing I decided to use Google first for a description...
| Quote: | manscat.com
Adult Material beyond this point. I AGREE I am a male homosexual. I UNDERSTAND the material on this site is concerned with a love of defecation. ...
www.manscat.com/ - Cached - Similar |
What kinds of sites are you interested in?! Sheesh
| Lopin18 wrote: | | I think you played too much Fallout 3, Pedo Perk acquired. |
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| Posted: Fri, 12th Nov 2010 22:53 Post subject: |
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Umm what kind of a toilet do you have that your poo won't pass? 
Or another thing, if it's soo big, what exactly are you doing to your ass so that a colossal turd comes out?
"Quantum mechanics is actually, contrary to it's reputation, unbeliveably simple, once you take the physics out."
Scott Aaronson | chiv wrote: | | thats true you know. newton didnt discover gravity. the apple told him about it, and then he killed it. the core was never found. |
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ixigia
[Moderator] Consigliere
Posts: 65081
Location: Italy
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| Posted: Fri, 12th Nov 2010 22:59 Post subject: |
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| dingo_d wrote: | Umm what kind of a toilet do you have that your poo won't pass?
Or another thing, if it's soo big, what exactly are you doing to your ass so that a colossal turd comes out? |
Well after years and years of being in contact with Steve Jobs.. |
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LeoNatan
☢ NFOHump Despot ☢
Posts: 73196
Location: Ramat Gan, Israel 🇮🇱
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| Posted: Fri, 12th Nov 2010 23:11 Post subject: |
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| dingo_d wrote: | | Umm what kind of a toilet do you have that your poo won't pass? |
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| Posted: Fri, 12th Nov 2010 23:17 Post subject: |
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b0se
Banned
Posts: 5901
Location: Rapture
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| Posted: Fri, 12th Nov 2010 23:23 Post subject: |
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Did you eat the WC cap ?
[spoiler][quote="SteamDRM"]i've bought mohw :derp: / FPS of the year! [/quote]
[quote="SteamDRM"][quote="b0se"]BLACK OPS GOTY[/quote]
No.[/quote][/spoiler]
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| Posted: Sat, 13th Nov 2010 00:13 Post subject: |
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 @ ixigias and Leos response
"Quantum mechanics is actually, contrary to it's reputation, unbeliveably simple, once you take the physics out."
Scott Aaronson | chiv wrote: | | thats true you know. newton didnt discover gravity. the apple told him about it, and then he killed it. the core was never found. |
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| Posted: Sat, 13th Nov 2010 00:55 Post subject: |
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Our old toilet had that problem didn't have enough umph to push anything down. We got a new toilet with some new design for water flow when you flush and to this day we've still to have a clogged toilet.
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| Posted: Sat, 13th Nov 2010 01:58 Post subject: |
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On a bit of a more helpful note, Since you are on a High Fiber Diet and drinking lots of water, i've been reading around that you have to be careful what else you eat, such as red meat, processed food, greasy food, etc as it fudges up your GI Tract and keeps the food from getting absorbed and processed correctly, this could account for you shitting out entire log cabins.
Edit: How much do you usually eat in a sitting also, Do you eat just like 1 huge meal in a day, or..?
Last edited by Spazmotic on Sat, 13th Nov 2010 02:00; edited 1 time in total
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| Posted: Sat, 13th Nov 2010 07:30 Post subject: |
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I would start shitting outside and blame the dog
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Rofl_Mao
Posts: 3187
Location: Nederland
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| Posted: Sat, 13th Nov 2010 11:41 Post subject: |
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| Spazmotic wrote: | On a bit of a more helpful note, Since you are on a High Fiber Diet and drinking lots of water, i've been reading around that you have to be careful what else you eat, such as red meat, processed food, greasy food, etc as it fudges up your GI Tract and keeps the food from getting absorbed and processed correctly, this could account for you shitting out entire log cabins.
Edit: How much do you usually eat in a sitting also, Do you eat just like 1 huge meal in a day, or..? |
I'm kind of a health maniac, so I also avoid processed foods. I eat 3 meals a day, including a good breakfast. I'm also eating a lot less meat since I've seen how the animals are treated and what it does to the climate. I guess I'm about 70% vegetarian so I like to chomp on fresh vegetables etc. I'm kind of proud of my healthy diet, so I don't think the food is the problem.
And I'm not trolling by the way! I think that's the problem these days: you can't talk about the digestive system. 50% of the Western population will develop piles at some point in life. 50%! I think that number could be drastically reduced if people would discuss the relation between diet and digestion more openly.
| Lopin18 wrote: | | I think you played too much Fallout 3, Pedo Perk acquired. |
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Rofl_Mao
Posts: 3187
Location: Nederland
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| Posted: Sat, 13th Nov 2010 11:42 Post subject: |
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| SpykeZ wrote: | | Our old toilet had that problem didn't have enough umph to push anything down. We got a new toilet with some new design for water flow when you flush and to this day we've still to have a clogged toilet. |
Cool. Can I crap at your place 
| Lopin18 wrote: | | I think you played too much Fallout 3, Pedo Perk acquired. |
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| Posted: Sat, 13th Nov 2010 12:35 Post subject: |
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I have to see a pic of your toilet and poo to belive this.
I can poop poops the size of cars, use a half roll of paper, and still not clog the toilet.
Sounds to me like you got one of those crappy eastern european toilets from the 1960's. Those are really crappy to crap in, since the hole is so small.
Vaccum based toilets (like in ships) are awesome tho. They will suck anything down. Not matter how big it is, even tho the hole in the toilet is small.
I hate you.
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Lutzifer
Modzilla
Posts: 12740
Location: ____________________ **** vegan zombie **** GRRAAIIINNSS _______
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| Posted: Sat, 13th Nov 2010 12:42 Post subject: |
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maybe you should toilet-train your body: Go to the toilet at least once a day at the same time, preferably in the morning even if you dont have to, so your body will learn to do the dirties then.
other than that, invest in a new toilet.
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| Posted: Sat, 13th Nov 2010 13:04 Post subject: |
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Doesn't American toilets have water like only 5 cm away from the toilet seat?
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Hierofan
Banned
Posts: 3807
Location: Internets
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| Posted: Sat, 13th Nov 2010 13:19 Post subject: |
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change the fucking toilet jackass , it's not that hard
jesus , grabbing your own shit , my god you are a real idiot
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Rofl_Mao
Posts: 3187
Location: Nederland
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| Posted: Sat, 13th Nov 2010 14:16 Post subject: |
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| Lutzifer wrote: | maybe you should toilet-train your body: Go to the toilet at least once a day at the same time, preferably in the morning even if you dont have to, so your body will learn to do the dirties then.
other than that, invest in a new toilet. |
Now that's a useful bit of advice.
The toilet isn't really the problem I think... Because I'm the only one clogging the toilet at home! The others really don't understand how I manage to clog the toilet. And I'm clogging other people's toilets as well sometimes. Obviously you're in an awkward position if you clog your host's toilet. It's also not the toilet paper that's clogging the hole, I'm using as little paper as possible. It's just the poo itself.
I'll give the toilet training a go and I hope my body will listen. Maybe I'll need an iPad to leisurely browse the web while I sit and wait... 
| Lopin18 wrote: | | I think you played too much Fallout 3, Pedo Perk acquired. |
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| Posted: Sat, 20th Nov 2010 00:16 Post subject: |
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Neon
VIP Member
Posts: 18935
Location: Poland
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| Posted: Sat, 20th Nov 2010 00:30 Post subject: |
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I gave the guy a good and cheap solution to his most unfortunate predicament, be thankful I am even willing to help out other people in need!!!
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| Posted: Sat, 20th Nov 2010 00:37 Post subject: |
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Better yet, get a copy of this book,
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Also for 'Most truthful yet misleading thread title'. Expected some whining about a queue at public toilet. Did not expect a thread about logs.
