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ChinUp
Posts: 5503
Location: 51.7° N ' 1.1° W
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 Posted: Tue, 25th Oct 2005 20:51 Post subject: Little Johnny :D |
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wakes up three nights in a row after hearing a thumping sound coming from his parents' room. Finally one morning he goes to his mum and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises, and when I look in your bedroom you're bouncing up and down on him."
His mum is taken by surprise and says, "Oh... well...um.... well I'm bouncing on his tummy because he's fat and that makes him thin again." The boy thought for a moment and said, "Nahhh, that won't work!" His mom says, "Why?!?" The boy replied, "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day, and blows him back up!"
"Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in & out of favor." ~ Frost
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Tue, 25th Oct 2005 21:03 Post subject: |
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Hahahahahahahahahaha Thats a good one man. Ive heard alot of Lil Johnny jokes but thats classic |
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| Posted: Tue, 25th Oct 2005 21:17 Post subject: |
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haha pwnd 
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ChinUp
Posts: 5503
Location: 51.7° N ' 1.1° W
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| Posted: Thu, 27th Oct 2005 22:30 Post subject: |
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goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!' Miss Rogers:'All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?' Little Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.' Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful.' Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blow-job".
"Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in & out of favor." ~ Frost
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| Posted: Thu, 27th Oct 2005 22:47 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Thu, 27th Oct 2005 23:05 Post subject: |
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Jenni
Banned
Posts: 9526
Location: England.
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| Posted: Thu, 27th Oct 2005 23:14 Post subject: |
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Little Johnny walked into the bathroom whilst his mother was having a shower. "whats that?" says Johnny. "well that's my er um, er that's my sponge Johnny". He walks out not thinking anymore about it. A few days later he walks in on his mother again but she had shaven. "Mummy what happened to your sponge?" he pipes up. "I er I lost it son" A few days pass and Johnny runs up to his mother. "mummy, mummy I found your sponge." "w..where where Johnny?" Says his mother not knowing what to think. "Mrs Jones next door was washing daddy's face with it in your bedroom earlier"
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headshot
VIP Member
Posts: 35878
Location: UK
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| Posted: Fri, 28th Oct 2005 14:18 Post subject: |
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roflmao!
May the NFOrce be with you always.
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| Posted: Fri, 28th Oct 2005 14:21 Post subject: |
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priceless jokes, I like them!
| Injurious wrote: | | And then Mabel tripped over a rock and landed in a well and was trapped there with Timmy. Sadly I shot Lassie so no one is saving that bitch! |
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ChinUp
Posts: 5503
Location: 51.7° N ' 1.1° W
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| Posted: Sat, 29th Oct 2005 14:41 Post subject: |
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one day little Johnny’s mom n dad were arguing & his mom called his dad a bastard. The dad got mad n called the mom a bitch. the next day little Johnny asked her mom what a bastard was she’s all its another name for a gentleman. little Johnny then goes to his dad and asked him what a bitch was. he said its another name for a kind lady.
That night Johnny say his mom and dad fucking & head his dad say "I like your soft tities" and his mom said : I like your hairy balls" he walks in and says mom what are hairy balls? she says" its another name for a jacket" he then asks his dad what were soft tities. He says "its another name for a hat." Tthe next day it was thanksgiving & his dad was shaving and he cut himself & says shit.
So little Johnny asks him what shit was. his dad said" its another name for shaving cream". then little Johnny goes & watches his mom stuff the turkey. she drops some stuffing on her shoe & said fuck. little Johnny asked his mom what fuck meant & she said" its another name for stuffing. then the guest arrive & greets them by saying" hello bitches & bastards put your hairy balls & soft tities in the closet. my moms fucking the turkey & my dads putting shit on his face.
"Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in & out of favor." ~ Frost
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vortex66
Posts: 629
Location: Døñ't løøk ßåçk
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Sat, 29th Oct 2005 18:29 Post subject: |
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heard that one before, but fuckin hilarious none the less 
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ollax
VIP Member
Posts: 2154
Location: Here today, Hell tomorrow!
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| Posted: Sat, 29th Oct 2005 19:09 Post subject: |
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They are great!
* Little Jhonny asked his father,", how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying for it." (Katen)
* Lil' Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horses' legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Pop, why are you doing that?" "Because I'm thinking of buying these horses." Johnny looked worried, "Then I think we'd better hurry home right away!" "Why?" his father asked. "Because the milkman stopped by yesterday, and I think he wants to buy Mom!"
Here's like a gazillion of them!
http://www.aardvarkarchie.com/jokes/johnny/
Of all the things i've lost, i miss my mind the most!
"Ozzy Osbourne"
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