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 Posted: Thu, 9th Feb 2006 17:47 Post subject: 37% of Americans Believe Jack Bauer is Real |
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| Quote: | In a recent poll surveying public feeling towards national security it was discovered that over 58% of Americans felt they were under no danger whatsoever and that should any terrorist actions threaten their country again that they would be saved just in time. Whilst the results were initially a little bit puzzling, the following investigation revealed why this was the case:
37% of Americans stated that they trusted the abilities of CTU agent Jack Bauer to step in and intervene before the terrorists were able to carry out their actions. 14% of those surveyed stated they believed that whilst the terrorists would be successful, the Enterprise would then come back in time to prevent it from happening. Most surprisingly, however, were the remaining 7% who said they thought all the terrorist attacks in the last 5 years were just a new cable show on Fox. |
5% of Americans surveyed said that if Kirk and Bauer worked together, no evil could prove unstoppable
| Quote: | Government spokespeople reported that they were shocked at how safe Americans felt:
“It kinda shocked us,” Chuck Hankman reported, “I mean, we were busy looking into scrapping the Green and Blue terror alert levels. We're never going to use them as its never going to get that safe.”
When commenting on the results of the poll, Hankman stated there were many holes in the public's logic. He explained, first of all, that the Star Trek fans who had faith in Captain Kirk were misguided.
“Even forgetting about the Temporal Prime Directive, it just couldn't happen. If the Enterprise stopped a terrorist attack that happened in their time line it would create a paradox as they would return to timeline where it didn't happen. Whilst you may quote episodes where they did change the past, those sorts of circumstances require the skills of huge writing teams to pull off, and that isn't evident in this suggestion.”
As for the suggestion that Jack Bauer would save the day, Chuck was even less patient:
“This is even more ridiculous... Jack Bauer is a fictional character from the TV series 24. He won't come barging in to save the day... where was he on September 11th? On vacation? No, that's your fictional TV series... not the terrorist attacks going on around the world.
“Besides, evidence has shown that 97% of terrorist attacks take at least 3 days to unfold, that leaves Jack Bauer 48 hours short.” |
http://www.randomperspective.com/page.asp?1news/2/099
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| Posted: Thu, 9th Feb 2006 17:55 Post subject: |
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THis is bullshit . WHo made those survey ???
And what was the question???
How many ppl was in the survey?
Its well knonw that question has to be very accurate in a survey .
Its easy for some ppl who studie in survey to create "trap question"
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Lutzifer
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| Posted: Thu, 9th Feb 2006 17:59 Post subject: |
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hahahahahaha
i m not sure what makes me more laugh, the survey or Starforcefan's reaction
hahahahahahahaha
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nouseforaname
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| Posted: Thu, 9th Feb 2006 18:03 Post subject: |
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Anybody can post stupidy as a news in a website without telling the source of the survey .
Let me guess , it was made by 2 guy and they did 100 phone call in harlem with a "trap question"
And they say it reprensent USA .
To not say , the 2 guy was probaly from IRAN and fanatic to islam .
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nouseforaname
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| Posted: Thu, 9th Feb 2006 18:05 Post subject: |
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| Starforcefan wrote: | Anybody can post stupidy as a news in a website without telling the source of the survey .
Let me guess , it was made by 2 guy and they did 100 phone call in harlem with a "trap question" |
Before you embarrass yourself anymore, IT'S A JOKE FFS!
asus z170-A || core i5-6600K || geforce gtx 970 4gb || 16gb ddr4 ram || win10 || 1080p led samsung 27"
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| Posted: Thu, 9th Feb 2006 18:06 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Thu, 9th Feb 2006 18:09 Post subject: |
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Ho wow , here the genius (S)
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nouseforaname
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| Posted: Thu, 9th Feb 2006 18:11 Post subject: |
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Also, why is this in world headlines?
asus z170-A || core i5-6600K || geforce gtx 970 4gb || 16gb ddr4 ram || win10 || 1080p led samsung 27"
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| Posted: Thu, 9th Feb 2006 18:12 Post subject: |
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| nouseforaname wrote: | | Also, why is this in world headlines? |
To do exactly what im saying , let ppl believe its true .
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nouseforaname
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Lutzifer
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| Posted: Thu, 9th Feb 2006 18:28 Post subject: |
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i think it perfectly fits in here, else the joke would have been given away too soon. Well obviously for some, it overdid that effect abit as it seems, hahahahaha
and yeah, i know the onion. Awesome as hell. The best for me is still that "i ran a quake whorehouse" article or was that another satire-site?
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Spun[k]
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Location: SWEDEN
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| Posted: Thu, 9th Feb 2006 18:49 Post subject: |
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ehm .wtf? Not real no? Jack Bauer?
/stops watching 24
Sig too big.
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nouseforaname
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Lutzifer
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| Posted: Thu, 9th Feb 2006 19:28 Post subject: |
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i love wikipedia for stuff like that. It just is so much more than the usual encyclopedia. Well, also less in some regards, but thats for another thread =)
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| Posted: Thu, 9th Feb 2006 19:36 Post subject: |
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| Quote: | Disclaimer: Random Perspective accepts no responsibility for your believing of anything on this website.
The content on this website is satirical and thus many reports are unsubstantiated and therefore should not be considered factual. The use of major brands and corporations is used in good humour in order to improve the impact of the writing. Under no circumstances should you believe anything that could be considered defamatory without first checking it against a major news source.
IMPORTANT: If you do not appreciate or understand this article please consult your doctor as your right ventromedial prefrontal cortex is impaired. |
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nouseforaname
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| Posted: Thu, 9th Feb 2006 19:48 Post subject: |
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| CRA$HH110011001 wrote: | | IMPORTANT: If you do not appreciate or understand this article please consult your doctor as your right ventromedial prefrontal cortex is impaired. |
That speaks FUCKING VOLUMES about one braindead nforcer in particular ...
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MAD_MAX333
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Location: Toronto, Canada...eh
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| Posted: Thu, 9th Feb 2006 19:59 Post subject: |
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i hate 24, this is moved to jokes before starforce gets a heartattack and we get sued
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SycoShaman
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| Posted: Fri, 10th Feb 2006 06:02 Post subject: |
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Omg, I thought Jack Bauer was REAL!!! I thought it was like a televised auto biography, next week he was set up to get Bin laden right?....
Seriously, its sad that even 1% of ppl from any country would believe this shit.
@Starforce
100 phone calls in harlem...when it comes to getting inciteful info, I'd go with someone from harlem over u anyday...yeah, they love you french guys in new york...
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| Posted: Sat, 11th Feb 2006 23:09 Post subject: |
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Who is Jack Bauer ? I have never heard of him before now.
So 100% of Americans watch that show? Say if 25% watch the show, and you take a poll, how many would answer correctly, plus when ever I get solicited, I fuck with them, and lie about everything.
You people need to re-think surveys.
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nouseforaname
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) believes it's true.
