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drakgon
Posts: 1167
Location: England
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 Posted: Thu, 2nd Mar 2006 13:56 Post subject: what we all have learnt from porno |
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"What I've Learned From Watching Porn":
Women wear high heels to bed.
When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.
All women are noisy fucks.
People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
Those tits are real.
A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)
Double penetration makes women smile.
Asian men don't exist.
If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a brisk slap on the butt.
Nurses always suck patient's penises.
When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
Women never have headaches... or periods.
When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.
Men don't have to beg.
When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
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deelix
PDIP Member
Posts: 32062
Location: Norway
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drakgon
Posts: 1167
Location: England
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| Posted: Thu, 2nd Mar 2006 14:12 Post subject: |
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HubU
VIP Member
Posts: 11360
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| Posted: Thu, 2nd Mar 2006 17:06 Post subject: Re: what we all have learnt from porno |
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| drakgon wrote: | | When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a brisk slap on the butt. |
That one's true. Girls love getting spanked in the act. Improves blood flow down there creating more sensitivity.
You forgot, women love to be spat at, especially in the butt. And, women feel relieved when they're made to puke by having a cock rammed down their throats.
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spankie
VIP Member
Posts: 2958
Location: Belgium
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| Posted: Thu, 2nd Mar 2006 17:54 Post subject: |
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hahaha, loooooool
one hand on the hip and one on the head, if you read that, it sounds kinda gay
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Fri, 3rd Mar 2006 05:23 Post subject: |
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All I know is some girls do moan when they give head and enough women like gettin slapped on the ass and their hair pulled and shit. Im dead serious. 
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| Posted: Fri, 3rd Mar 2006 14:03 Post subject: |
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| drakgon wrote: | i have never seen indain or pakistani men in a porno ... true  |
asian people aka chinese, japanese, korean, indian, paki are less endowed,
ive seen some of these movies and i gotta say the women in these are far better actresses than in western ones, if you know what i mean  |
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spankie
VIP Member
Posts: 2958
Location: Belgium
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_SiN_
Megatron
Posts: 12108
Location: Cybertron
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Esel_Gesi
VIP Member
Posts: 3802
Location: Chicago
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| Posted: Fri, 3rd Mar 2006 17:18 Post subject: |
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this reminds me of a joke... old and lame.
how can you tell the male pornstar at the gas station?
 Spoiler: | Right before the gas comes out of the pump he pulls t out and sprays gas all over the car |
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| Posted: Tue, 7th Mar 2006 22:32 Post subject: |
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Damn i wanna add something but i dont rememebr probably this will do
"every women is sluts they, only want to fuck"
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All times are GMT + 1 Hour |
so true 
lol
