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roCcor
Posts: 174
Location: Germany
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 Posted: Sat, 3rd Jun 2006 21:51 Post subject: Been spying my girlfriend.. |
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I'm not sure where to start.. So I'm just gonna forward you guys some basic information.
My girlfriend and I have been together for some 5 months now.
She once told me 'bout some guy she has had some sort of sexual relationship with
before she met me.
Now this guy kept eMailing, callin' and writing sms.. The other day he called in the middle
of the night while my girlfriend and me were already sleepin'.. she picked up the phone and
talked to him for some minutes and asked him if he would like her to call him the next day.
Some friday afternoon he called her like 10 times but she didn't answer.
I was confused on the one hand my gf told me that he was bit weird and nothin' wasn't
going to work out when they had their 'relationship'.
On the other hand she always answered his mails etc..
No this is where all the shit starts.
I _never_ thought of spyin' girls with whom I was having a relationship.
But I couldn't resist to check her eMail account to see what she was replying..
He always wanted her to meet again/have sex etc. The last mail she wrote
starts with 'Hey Honey..' then she tells something 'bout how her lives goin'
(nothing but her new boyfriend/me) and asks him to meet her or at least phone her.
I hate me for spying and actually I would be much happier if I never did it.
That's for 2 reasons.
a) I feel remorse
b) I don't know what to do now
I am just confused why the hell the girl I am together with (we even live together)
wants to meet her ex, eventho she tells me that she doesn't like to.
If she wasn't doing it secretly, I would have any problem at all.
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Jun 2006 21:54 Post subject: |
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dump her. no trust. going nowhere.
end of.
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roCcor
Posts: 174
Location: Germany
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Jun 2006 21:57 Post subject: |
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If it was as easy like that..
She isn't just like a girl that I have sex with on a regular
basis. There's more to it and I don't think that I am the
only person in the relationship who feels like that.
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Jun 2006 22:20 Post subject: |
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Roc, dump her man. I know its not that simple in your mind, but trust me, dump her.
She's more than likely foolin around on you. And even if she's not, do you want someone who lies to you? Think about man. If she's lying to you about this shit, what elese is she lying about?
Dump her. If she really loves you, she will come back and explain everything. Then its up to you.
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roCcor
Posts: 174
Location: Germany
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Jun 2006 22:23 Post subject: |
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Should I tell her what I found out when I dump her?
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Jun 2006 22:29 Post subject: |
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Yeah, i would.
I'd be straight up and say "What the fuck is this?" and show her what you found. She what she's says. If she has any foritude, she'll be honest with you right.
So you checked her email account because some guy she used to bang has been callin her off the hook and distrupting your relationship? if you have a good reason, there aint nothing wrong with that shit.
What are you supposed to do? Live with your suspicion while she gets everything she wants...someone who's paying the bills for her and a fuck buddy?
Fuck that dude, your being played...seen it enough times. Women are fuckin devious, you gotta be careful and know when to get out.
In all honesty, you've never played a girl like that? You tell one you love her, wanna be with her etc and all the while you have someone on the side?
Its not right and not cool, but shit like that goes down man.
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roCcor
Posts: 174
Location: Germany
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Jun 2006 22:31 Post subject: |
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I just rechecked that mail and I think your right.
I just feel so damn pissed.. She's off for the
weekend and now I find out this.
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Jun 2006 22:38 Post subject: |
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She went away for the weekend?
Dude, drop her when she comes back...least thats what I would do.
Yeah, it will hurt and stuff, but fuck...you've only been with her for 5 months. You'll get over her and trust, you'll find a better woman. Atleast now you know what to look for and what you dont want in a woman
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MAD_MAX333
Moderator
Posts: 7020
Location: Toronto, Canada...eh
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Jun 2006 23:01 Post subject: |
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this should have been easy.. dump her.. i know you might like her alot or feel bad for "losing" to another guy or shit.. but honestly the longer you go the worse it will get and the harder to break it off...
don't fight or anything.. just say, because he called so much, you stumbled upon her email and you can't stand this anymore, and EVEN if she still denies it (which she will) say there is just no trust...
when i started dating my gf, she had just (like a month or two) broke up with her ex of 2.5 year... he sometimes called her and stuff except in my case she kept telling him not to call and that they were finished... he finally stopped... if she EVER went behind my back or talked to him as if she was still interested, it would be over.. no questions asked.
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[sYn]
[Moderator] Elitist
Posts: 8374
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roCcor
Posts: 174
Location: Germany
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kumkss
Posts: 4834
Location: Chile
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Jun 2006 23:44 Post subject: |
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ya man! as sayed above, dumb her. she makes your life misserable because you're constantly thinking about it. does she loves me? does she having sex with this another asshole? and its sucks. as sayed above, you pay the bills and she is (at least) having fun/not beeing honest/causing you sentimental and emotional trouble and meeting -for sure- another guy. and ok, you don't know if she's having sex :/ but the motives described here are just enough to quit with her. and DO IT fast. the faster or quicker you do it, the less painful for you.
life is short and 5 months of a worrie relationship is more than enough.
imagine if she gets pregnant from you, or the other guy. it gonna suck, having the uncertanty.
on the other hand, i have got the same problem with my gf a year ago. we quitted for a while and then she got in that lapsus a -quick- relation with another guy. 1,5 months later she called me, we met and we came back with our relation. then this other guy kept writing to her, calling, same situation... and she always anserwed him. pissing off. i've even met the guy in a party...
and the, after 2 weeks of this shity situation, i spyed the msn of my girl (yeah, password system of msn is soooo easy to desifrate) and got all the history of ther conversations. i was so pissed off with what i found, but i needed that extra evidence, at least for me, to convince me that quitting with her was the right thing to do. and so i've told her. all the shit that was happening to me, the conversations that i've read and the way she was managing the situation were a pain in the ass to me, and so i wanted to quit. she was kinda shocked, of course she went upset because of the reading i¡ve done, that it was his "private" stuff... and all that funny crap (actualy i was having fun with all the situation, pissed off, but entertained). i've sayed to her that she should fuck her perfidous morality and then she started to cry...
she told me in that same moment how much did she love me, that i was the guy of her life, etc. she showed me then a conversation she had with this guy, in wich she sayed to him how in love she was with me...
so... what to do?
i've decided to forgive her but, personaly, decided to have more caution for the next few months.
she has deleted the guy from her contact list, phone list, cel etc...
this happens a year ago... and no problems with it since then. (and the good part of it, was that this situation "opened" my eyes, in not to be that blind to other girls.)
hope it helps.
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Demonium
Banned
Posts: 895
Location: Riket
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Jun 2006 23:45 Post subject: |
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Get a camcorder, record and fuck her, upload it on a site, tell her about it as you dump her.
jenni <3
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roCcor
Posts: 174
Location: Germany
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[sYn]
[Moderator] Elitist
Posts: 8374
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roCcor
Posts: 174
Location: Germany
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z00mer
Posts: 94
Location: U.S.A.
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| Posted: Sun, 4th Jun 2006 00:15 Post subject: |
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Yeah, like everyone said. Dump her ass. Ask her if she's been planning to see him or if she has talked to him. Then if she lies (which she probably will) then tell her about the emails.
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| Posted: Sun, 4th Jun 2006 02:42 Post subject: |
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how bout writing the other guy an email from her account... meet him and beat the living hell out of him, get his email account password... write your girl from his account to meet him for sex... if she goes... well... hahaha... that would be kickass... and get a buddy to film it...
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| Posted: Sun, 4th Jun 2006 02:50 Post subject: |
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first have sex and than dump her... she will be SOOOOOOOOOOOO pissed after that 
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deelix
PDIP Member
Posts: 32062
Location: Norway
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| Posted: Sun, 4th Jun 2006 03:09 Post subject: |
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Could be hard for her to say no... maybe she feel pressed by the ex.
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| Posted: Sun, 4th Jun 2006 03:28 Post subject: |
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| SycoShaman wrote: | | Fuck that dude, your being played...seen it enough times. Women are fuckin devious, you gotta be careful and know when to get out. |
I think I would amend women to People. Both Men and women can be devious, I think both sexes are equal in terms of the playin.
@roCcor
I know everybody is saying to dump her but I think there might be a few things to consider before you do. I think there is a huge difference between flirting and then physically acting on it.
Some women have a hard time being a bitch to an ex and don’t want to hurt his feeling. It is a weakness for some. She may trying to be “Nice” which is going to be leading him on. Still that's bad. She may not even know what she is doing. You know know if she did the actual deed or not. Also how sneaky is it for him to call the house. Not a bright cheating move I think. Also You know she didn't answer the phone when she thought it was him. Was it because you were there? or because she didn't want to bother with him?
5 months is a short time. It is suppose to be new and fun. I would think she isn't board of you yet.
Also, you have said you lost a bunch of family members. That is such a huge deal. That fucks you up. You go through all these different phases and anger at the world is one of them. I lost a very close family member too and he was only 38. He was hit by a truck on his bike going home from work. He died alone on the side of the road so I do have some understnding on this. This could be clouding your judgement. Trust me when I say you are probably not yourself and you are different from the guy she met 5 months ago.
Maybe, in all this anger she thinks you don’t love her anymore. Or you don't need her. She could be craving the intimacy you used to have and that is why she isn’t kicking this guy to the curb, because he is fulfilling some need you aren’t or unable to provide ATM.
Also, she could be the kind of women who is scared to be alone so she has to have a backup plan. This is still a problem. I wouldn’t call that devious, I would call it insecure.
Oh and if you put yourself and her on the internet, that would make you a creep, and when word got out.... NO WOMAN would EVER be with YOU again. But I know you were joking. 
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| Posted: Sun, 4th Jun 2006 04:09 Post subject: |
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I say dump her since it has only been 5 months and she´s already pulling weird stuff.
the time you spent with her isnt that long that you d be hung up on her, making a clean cut
and go on with your life. i dunno about you, but i hate it when people get all friendly with their
ex-bfs/gfs, i always cut ties with my ex-gfs and i expect my new partner to atleast not hang out with the ex-partner like a friend.
there are some things that are just a big no-no in a relationship, #1 is being close to the ex.
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-=Cartoon=-
VIP Member
Posts: 8823
Location: South Pacific Ocean
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| Posted: Sun, 4th Jun 2006 05:59 Post subject: |
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I think from what we have read here none of know what is really going on.
There are always 2 sides to the truth, and the truth is somewhere in the middle.
When I read roCcor post he seems so angry. He lost people he loved (I am assuming he loved them (plural). I personally think Hell is where the living go when their loved ones die. To me that is Hell. I don't know when this happened but it takes years to recover. People that have lost someone they love take it out on everyone around them and everyone thinks they are over it in a couple of months. I think I went into too many personal details already.
I know D_A_Kuja says to dump her, It's only 5 months. He did say she was there for him when things were really tough. Shouldn't that count for something? Nobody knows how this guy is acting. He probably doesn't even know. I would imagine he is over emotional.
I would say as well, that 6 months of living together is the next plateau of a relationship. Kinda like the 7 yr itch of marriage only in living together terms.
I don't think any judgements can me made until he talks to her, talks to her about what he found in the e-mail account. He has all sorts of rights here, everybody is different and he has to be clear in what it is exactly he wants. She owes him honesty.
I think refering to her as a bitch is wrong. I would also say the same for any girl slagging some guy as well. I always question people first before I automaticly jump onto their side. I think I would be a crappy friend if I told them what they want to hear all the time.
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| Posted: Sun, 4th Jun 2006 08:43 Post subject: |
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blahblah, i'm not reading this until you stop writing like you want to be a rapper or something.
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| Posted: Sun, 4th Jun 2006 09:03 Post subject: |
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What type of rap have you been listening to? Usually it involves, guns, pimps, crime, and hoes. You are an idiot.
Who, in all honesty gets no sex. You don't even know what sex is.
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| Posted: Sun, 4th Jun 2006 09:47 Post subject: |
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| CRA$HH110011001 wrote: | | first have sex and than dump her... she will be SOOOOOOOOOOOO pissed after that |
 add this guy to the 'doesn't even know what sex is' list.
If I'd been poking around with a girl for 5 months and then I found out she'd been fucking someone else on the sly the last thing i'd want is to venture back into her axe wound.
If you can fuck her 1 last time, then what's the point in dumping her at all? You may as well just keep messing around with her and letting her have her cake and eat it.
I don't think you should come out with the e-mails straight away because that's an invasion of privacy etc. and I don't think you should do that at all. The fact that you have some distrust in her is enough to call it off though. Doesn't matter how much you love someone, if you can't trust them then it'll always be incomplete. |
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