here is a funny joke i heard from 'blue collar comedy tour one for the road' :
Theres this cruise ship and theres a magician that works on the ship and the captain had a parrot that liked to go to the show everynight. The parrot understood the show and since it could talk it would give away everything. "ohh, he's puttin it in his sock bbbrrrrrrkkkkk" "he put it up his sleeve bbbrrrrrrkkkkk" "its in his hat bbbrrrrrrkkkkk." And the magician just hated this bird. and one night he just snapped and he pulled out a pistol and he shot the bird and the bird ducked and the bullet misses the bird and it hits a propane tank and blows the ship to a billion peices. the only survivors are the parrot and the magician and theyre floating out in the middle of the ocean on two little pieces of wood and the parrot goes "Alright i give up. Wheres the damn ship?"
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