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 Posted: Fri, 14th Dec 2007 08:16 Post subject: People don't see the obvious |
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Now this is an altered conversation with client I had, I say altered cause the context is
correct but I felt he need to shorten, it still has the important details, but I can't get in shit for this, as confidentiality isn't being breached. I changed the wording too, but it's still accurate.
Normally this shit doesn't bug me, but currently it is due to recent events.
Client 1.) My boyfriend and I have problems, he isn't treating me fairly or with respect,
I do everything I can for him, and I get little in return, I mean he's not bad to me, just not
like he should be...
Me) So basically you are saying you are a good girlfriend and do everything that you feel
you need to do in your relationship. You feel he is not.
Client 1.) Yes, that's right, he should be more into it.
Me) What makes you feel the need to stay?
Client 1.) When there are no problems things are good.
Me) What?
Client 1.) Well when we are getting along everything is good.
Me) Um, so are you telling me that when things are bad you don't like it but when things are good you do?
Client 1.) Yes, exactly!
Me) That is common sense of course when you get along things are good and of course when you are not getting along things are not good.
Client 1.) Well, but...
Me) Look I have to be honest with you, is there more bad than good cause everyone like things when they are good, literally everyone! it's not an
issue of when things are good, it's how often, are you getting more good than bad?
Client 1.) Not really but I want it.
Me) Do you think you are going to get it after all this time?
Client 1.) well, um... No.
Me)So you are in a relationship that is not working, nor rewarding, and you are not happy. If you were you wouldn't have brought it up,
Client 1.) Are you telling me that I shouldn't stay?
Me) If you went to a hotel and it was disgusting, dirty, no room service, and poor food would you go back?
Client 1.) Well I might give it a second chance.
Me) and if the same thing happened each time you visited
Client 1.) I would never go back.
Me) Now you know what I am saying. Interpret that as you like.
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Jenni
Banned
Posts: 9526
Location: England.
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| Posted: Fri, 14th Dec 2007 08:25 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Fri, 14th Dec 2007 09:54 Post subject: |
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Cohen
Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
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| Posted: Fri, 14th Dec 2007 10:58 Post subject: |
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Ive been in that situation recently.. I loved my misses alot but it just didnt work.. when it was good it was awesome, when it was bad it was really bad.. and gradually the bad became more frequent but the feelings where still there. It took me a long time to actually end it.
I can see what the woman tries to say here.. Its not about seeing the obvious, I certainly saw that. It's finding the courage and will to end things even though it will hurt.
I felt like I had brutally murdered a puppy, but in the long run things will be better for the both of us (it was a 2 year relationship).
troll detected by SiN
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| Posted: Fri, 14th Dec 2007 13:19 Post subject: |
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I don't know how you do it Martian, I think I would snap after couple of hundreds of bitching every week. It would probably be:
Patient) My boyfriend doesn't like me..
Me) So get a new boyfriend..
Patient) But I like him...
Me) But he doesn't like you! What are you deaf? And besides I see why he doesn't like you: you always nag, nag, nag... And you're not that pretty!
Patient) But... (tears in eyes)
Me) Now I charge an hour, so that would be 200$ since it's minute past one, and we started in 12... 
"Quantum mechanics is actually, contrary to it's reputation, unbeliveably simple, once you take the physics out."
Scott Aaronson | chiv wrote: | | thats true you know. newton didnt discover gravity. the apple told him about it, and then he killed it. the core was never found. |
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| Posted: Fri, 14th Dec 2007 13:30 Post subject: |
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BWAHAHAH!
I had female friends (and I still do), but there was times when all I heard was: And then he and I went here, and done that... (that sort of shit) and that really annoyed me (I guess because I was into that girl, but newermind...). Now my female friends and I (those who I'm good with) go out and drink... 
"Quantum mechanics is actually, contrary to it's reputation, unbeliveably simple, once you take the physics out."
Scott Aaronson | chiv wrote: | | thats true you know. newton didnt discover gravity. the apple told him about it, and then he killed it. the core was never found. |
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| Posted: Fri, 14th Dec 2007 19:34 Post subject: |
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| Jenni wrote: | | What do you do? |
apparently I deal with retards...
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Jenni
Banned
Posts: 9526
Location: England.
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| Posted: Fri, 14th Dec 2007 19:41 Post subject: |
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We all deal with retards at work. Fucking hell I work in education dealing with heads of every school in the north east of england. AND YOU THINK YOU DEAL WITH RETARDS!
Heh.
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Fri, 14th Dec 2007 19:50 Post subject: |
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Sounds like my ex 
Obviously those 2 people arent meant to be together and should end it.
I would. You gotta take the bad with the good right?
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Fri, 14th Dec 2007 21:01 Post subject: |
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| pistolshrimp wrote: | | SycoShaman wrote: | Sounds like my ex
Obviously those 2 people arent meant to be together and should end it.
I would. You gotta take the bad with the good right? |
Sounds like she is in a bad situation. Perhaps you don't know all the details. |
im just basing what I said on the main post  |
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Cohen
Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
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| Posted: Fri, 14th Dec 2007 21:10 Post subject: |
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| Jenni wrote: | We all deal with retards at work. Fucking hell I work in education dealing with heads of every school in the north east of england. AND YOU THINK YOU DEAL WITH RETARDS!
Heh. |
I wait for the day you meet Mr Jim Cunningham of Hereford Technology School.
You will never forget the day. LOL.
troll detected by SiN
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| Posted: Fri, 14th Dec 2007 21:12 Post subject: |
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I koow. It is really hard for the girl.
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Fri, 14th Dec 2007 21:13 Post subject: |
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| pistolshrimp wrote: | | I koow. |
If I had more detail, maybe my opinion would change. Who knows. Im always open to change. Better to have an idea than beliefs. Easier to change and idea or opinion |
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| Posted: Fri, 14th Dec 2007 22:10 Post subject: |
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People have to understand they are only hearing on side of the story. People have to be questioning everything.
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| Posted: Fri, 14th Dec 2007 22:29 Post subject: |
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I can't go into more detail than that, obviously it would be unwise for me to detail someone's life, and as in the original post it's somewhat different,
This person always ends up in something like this, I've dealt with them for a very long time now,
on and off, believe me when I say, some people can't see the obvious.
@pistol, I do not question the other side, their are reasons for this, 1.) I am not their to help the partner, I am their to help the person that comes to me. 2.) This person (btw I say person and not her for a reason.) is telling me how they feel, if they feel that way then it is real to them, and that's all that matters, at least when they are paying me. 3.) Normally I wouldn't take this approach to someone, however when you know someone for a long time you get a feel for them, and I am confident.
@syco, you know I thought of you when this was happening, but trust me it's a lot different than what you shared with me, although similar reaction.
Read not to contradict and confute, nor to believe and take for granted, but to weigh and consider.
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
In all your remembering, remember that you have choices
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