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 Posted: Mon, 28th Jan 2008 19:09 Post subject: Is this normal or what? |
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Got a girlfriend and she has a bunch of friends, mostly female, but also some male friends, now its the male part that I am gonna talk about. There's this one guy who keeps texting her, stuff like "I'm sorry for yesterday, it will never happen again, I don't want to lose you as a friend", and more in the same jargon like "please answer, I feel miserable for what I did, I really don't deserve this", etc etc.
Now why is he texting this, apparently the guy got annoying and used his hands in the wrong places the day before(he had a little bit too much to drink)and cuz my girlfriend ain't texting him back anymore he is getting jittery. So 2 days after all this happened, I keep hearing biep biep, biep biep, allways this same guy, constantly whining about how sorry he is.
Now, my GF is 32 and this smuck is 42, and I can't help but feel like the booze brought out this smucks true intentions, a guy that texts about 10 sms'ses stating how he is sorry does say something doesn't it? I just have this feeling like this guy doesn't want to be just friends with her, in the back of his head he just wants to nail my GF.
So what would you guys do in this case, if I tell my GF she can't see him anymore then I am the bad guy, not that I'm afraid to tell her or anything its just a difficult situation. I do know for a fact she isn't banging him, but things can allways change eh:LOL:
Suggestions are welcome to all who have been in this boat before...
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| Posted: Mon, 28th Jan 2008 20:05 Post subject: |
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Doesnt seems healthy, its going in the wrong direction.
you should have a serious talk with your GF about it,and DONT started out from the assumption thats she didnt do anything wrong.
be aware,such things doesnt come out of the blue..
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| Posted: Mon, 28th Jan 2008 20:30 Post subject: |
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Nah thats what I suspected, like I said I know she isn't banging the guy but would you like to have a guy perving all over your girlfriend every time you'r not around, I'm sure she isn't even aware of this, but its all too obvious that he's hung up on her. I don't mind her having friends of the male gender, not in the least, but I don't like it when I know that they want more cuz then every time I come across this guy I just know he'll have his eyes on me, waiting to stir trouble and undermine my relationship.
So, you say I should have a talk to my GF, but how do I get this point across so she doesn't feel like I am determining what she can and can't do? You know women eh, liberal smiberal:LOL:
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Jenni
Banned
Posts: 9526
Location: England.
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| Posted: Mon, 28th Jan 2008 20:56 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Mon, 28th Jan 2008 20:56 Post subject: |
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I see.
well , this is up to your gf to talk with this guy and end this shitty situation.
thats what I meant,you should talk with her,and tell her to end this up,and the sooner the better,it doesnt matter what she is saying,and I dont say she lies,but sometime girls tend to ignore things,which for us(males),seems important.
how did they met?
how did they got to this situation from the first place?
why?
there are many question marks hovering around,and only your girlfriend can really give you some answers.
I had something semiliar,actually almost Identical,with my GF.
Eventually it was ended.
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| Posted: Mon, 28th Jan 2008 21:01 Post subject: |
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| Jenni wrote: | | Warn him off. |
what?
why he needs to do it?
his gf started it from the first place,so she should have the courage to end it,if she really loves him. |
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| Posted: Mon, 28th Jan 2008 21:36 Post subject: |
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Yeah I don't even know the guy so why should I warn the smuck off, I only saw his weird sms'ses, atleast my GF is open about that(hard to ignore the constant beeping), but still.... And yeah I'll have a sitdown with her, and if she don't like what I have to say then tough luck, don't need this shit, if the shoe was on the other foot I am sure she wouldn't appreciate it in the least, in fact I think she would have opened her mouth from the getgo and stated her rules:LOL:
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| Posted: Mon, 28th Jan 2008 22:08 Post subject: |
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you have three choices in my opinion.
1, confront him about it
2, convince your woman to have no contact with the guy again and if he wont stop texting her you should both confront the guy and make it clear his friendship is nolonger wanted.
3, give him a few jabs to the face (but only if you know this wont piss your woman off)
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| Posted: Mon, 28th Jan 2008 22:51 Post subject: |
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I'm opting for option 2, violence is allways the last resort for me.
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nouseforaname
Über-VIP Member
Posts: 21306
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Mon, 28th Jan 2008 22:53 Post subject: |
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decapitate the motherfucker and skull fuck his head!!!
asus z170-A || core i5-6600K || geforce gtx 970 4gb || 16gb ddr4 ram || win10 || 1080p led samsung 27"
Last edited by nouseforaname on Tue, 29th Jan 2008 20:22; edited 2 times in total
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| Posted: Tue, 29th Jan 2008 00:33 Post subject: |
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If you drill the hole and supply the lubricant nouse I'll get right on it:)
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| Posted: Tue, 29th Jan 2008 00:47 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Tue, 29th Jan 2008 01:05 Post subject: |
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A normal 42 year old guy should be able to control himself if he is drinking... unless he is using it as an excuse to act like a creep. A normal guy would be able to control himself and STOP txting after she didn't respond maybe the 2nd time.
I think your instincts are bang on.
You can't tell her what to do, she is a big girl but you can point out the guys actions are immature and weird. (he sounds like stalker material actually)
If she still choses to see him I would maybe start to wonder about her and her character. Does she seem to like the attention?
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Tue, 29th Jan 2008 01:17 Post subject: |
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| nouseforaname wrote: | | decapitate the motherfucker and skull fuck his head!!! |
well, maybe not that extreme
but definetly knock him around a bit, send him a clear message |
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| Posted: Tue, 29th Jan 2008 01:23 Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | If she still choses to see him I would maybe start to wonder about her and her character. Does she seem to like the attention?. |
What he said...
I would be sooo pissed... And it`s indeed not easy. I would do the same; tell her to break up with him. and tell him to piss off and leave your gf alone.
It will make you mad if she decides it`s all not that bad and "forgives" him.
And yeah - he wants to nail her..
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Cohen
Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
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| Posted: Tue, 29th Jan 2008 01:48 Post subject: |
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the friends thing is bollocks. Telling ya mate. My ex of 2 years recently I dumped her, a "friend" shed kept throughout our relationship had banged her like a month after we split up. All fucking bollocks. Id either tell him to say sorry once and leave it at that or fuck off, or if your misses is giving you shit just move on to another one, lifes to short to live with that crap in the back of your head. Soon as he gets the chance and/or soon as you two have a slight hiccup in the relationship hes gonna be in there with a meat cleaver getting his good-guy bit in to comfort her all the way to his rod.
troll detected by SiN
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Invasor
Moderator
Posts: 7638
Location: On the road
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| Posted: Tue, 29th Jan 2008 04:44 Post subject: |
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| pistolshrimp wrote: | A normal 42 year old guy should be able to control himself if he is drinking... unless he is using it as an excuse to act like a creep. A normal guy would be able to control himself and STOP txting after she didn't respond maybe the 2nd time.
I think your instincts are bang on.
You can't tell her what to do, she is a big girl but you can point out the guys actions are immature and weird. (he sounds like stalker material actually)
If she still choses to see him I would maybe start to wonder about her and her character. Does she seem to like the attention? |
Pistol is completely right. Also, I find it hard to believe your GF didnt see or notice his intentions. That doesn't mean she will cheat on you or anything, just dont think she's that naive.
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| Posted: Tue, 29th Jan 2008 04:57 Post subject: |
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| SycoShaman wrote: | | nouseforaname wrote: | | decapitate the motherfucker and skull fuck his head!!! |
well, maybe not that extreme
but definetly knock him around a bit, send him a clear message |
I never did really get why guys get so angry at the other guy when the real wrong doing is the cheating person they are with. Unless the women has said very clearly she wants no contact there is no need to go around beating people up. Even then you are probably better off to get the police involved and them them handle it.
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| Posted: Tue, 29th Jan 2008 05:02 Post subject: |
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Just let the situation resolve itself. If you're gf runs of with this guy, she probably isn't worth it; what's to stop her from fucking the next guy? If she notices and mentions him to you, stating that he gives her the creeps, tell the fucker to shove off. He keeps it up, lawyer -> restraining order. Easy todo assuming you're in America.
Sense Amid Madness, Wit Amidst Folly
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| Posted: Tue, 29th Jan 2008 07:33 Post subject: |
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Alright, now for some *real* advice.
Regardless of what happened, it is none of your business. She is apparently dealing with it,
now the issue isn't wether she's dealing with it in a way you would like her to or not, it's that it's being dealt with in her way (personally ignoring is a poor choice)
The booze did bring out intentions, but perhaps not his sole intentions, remember you are guilty for what you do. Not what you think, most men have wanted their girl friends at one time or another, in fact if I was guilty of thinking about taking a dip in another mans pool, then all my friends would hate me. I just never act upon it, he did.
I would do very little, in fact I would only mention that you have a concern about it, but you don't want to sound jealous or act irrationally but that you'd appreciate her keeping you up to date regardless of her choice. But supportive of her, and otherwise respect her choice. You should not approach this guy unless she asks for an intervention of some sort.
She is an adult, let her make her own choices. Support her, but be honest if you don't like what she chooses, but still be supportive. If she is worth the horse she rode in on, she will do her best to make sure you are more comfortable with what's happening, and most likely she will include you even if in just a limited way.
Read not to contradict and confute, nor to believe and take for granted, but to weigh and consider.
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
In all your remembering, remember that you have choices
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| Posted: Tue, 29th Jan 2008 07:37 Post subject: |
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@pistol
Women do the same thing, they blame the other women.
Men do this because it is a universally understood method of communication,
regardless of sex, age, race, cultural or language differences, being punched in the
face conveys a powerful message.
I am not saying it is right, or a good way to deal, just effective in demonstrating there
is an issue at hand.
You are right, I am just explaining the reasoning.
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| Posted: Tue, 29th Jan 2008 10:04 Post subject: |
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I wasn't clear. I should of added that women do the same thing.
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Phluxed
VIP Member
Posts: 4911
Location: Oakville, Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Tue, 29th Jan 2008 10:45 Post subject: |
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I think very lowly of people in general, so here are my two cents.
He wants to fuck her period. He never wanted to be her friend. This is the case of I would say 80% of all male/female friendships. One of the two wants to fuck the other... though they won't admit it.
There are about 20% where they just aren't attracted to the person... ANYMORE.
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| Posted: Tue, 29th Jan 2008 13:26 Post subject: |
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I have to agree with Phluxed cuz a few months ago I was hung up on this girl and I became her friend but in the back of my head all I could think about was banging this chick, the friends thing was all a scam, so I see myself in this guy, he's no less and no more, just horney for pussy, he knows he can't get it now but he'll sure keep trying. I know my gf likes me very much but she's an attention whore as many girls are, and thats her problem, she's too good and too gullible to see this perves true intentions. So yeah I'll defenitely have a word with her and I'll tell her to look for those signs.
Thnx all for your comments, now atleast I know this ain't normal:)
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| Posted: Tue, 29th Jan 2008 18:09 Post subject: |
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keep us updated 
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| Posted: Tue, 29th Jan 2008 19:15 Post subject: |
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| Pfiemelcheese wrote: | I have to agree with Phluxed cuz a few months ago I was hung up on this girl and I became her friend but in the back of my head all I could think about was banging this chick, the friends thing was all a scam, so I see myself in this guy, he's no less and no more, just horney for pussy, he knows he can't get it now but he'll sure keep trying. I know my gf likes me very much but she's an attention whore as many girls are, and thats her problem, she's too good and too gullible to see this perves true intentions. So yeah I'll defenitely have a word with her and I'll tell her to look for those signs.
Thnx all for your comments, now atleast I know this ain't normal:) |
Actually since you've decided to agree with Phluxed, you should then so rightly come to the conclusion that this IS normal. After all that's what men do? Right?
I still say tread carefully, you said she's 32. I wouldn't go treating her like she's some young dumb girl, furthermore I am in severe doubt that she hasn't had this stuff happen before.
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Cohen
Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
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| Posted: Tue, 29th Jan 2008 20:03 Post subject: |
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Well I've decided to end the relationship, not even gonna give her a reason why, she'll have to come to this conclusion herself, it'll be a good life lesson. And oh yeah I'm a heartless sun of a bitch, but been through enough in my life to block out many emotions.
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| Posted: Tue, 29th Jan 2008 20:08 Post subject: |
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You are ending the relationship because someone else acted innapropriately?
What do you think this life lesson is that she will learn? I am willing to wager that
she will learn nothing, and simply say you dumped her at random. Not much of a
lesson.
You would be best to reconsider I think. Unless you suspect other things happening
you have no basis. But it is your girlfriend, do as you wish.
Read not to contradict and confute, nor to believe and take for granted, but to weigh and consider.
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
In all your remembering, remember that you have choices
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