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Cohen
Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
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 Posted: Sat, 16th Aug 2008 03:17 Post subject: Another 'What would you do?'.. but more personal |
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First of all I would like to make a point in saying I know the possibility of me being paranoid is evident BUT it seems a little to fucking coincidental to be the case; and my own father is now having his doubts about this situation.
Ive been with this girl ive known 5 years for about 4 months now. I have to say It im in love with her.. and up until this last few weeks I felt great and I was sure she loved me too; the future looked bright for us together.
But of recent, something is wrong.
Basically I dont feel she is telling me something. When we first got together she seemed to make a lot more effort to try to see me, cos its 15 mile distance and neither have car (until 3 weeks when she has a driving test) etc. anyway, at the start her parents seemed ok to bring her and shed taxi home etc.. it was going well..
Now yesterday i said we went out on a day trip. Whilst there i suggested she comes down to mine on saturday for movies all the rest. She said yeah ok great see you then. I text her this morning and didnt get a reply until late tonight after texting her again asking her how her day was.. she had been with her friend and her family for a meal then to her house to have some chill time. Ok I thought.. then she said she cant do tomorrow (Saturday at mine) because her mum nor her dad could bring her. I thought ok then, and offered to come down to hers. She said her place was out because her room has been stripped for decorating and there will be wet paint tomorrow.. Just wtf? I dont wanna sound paranoid but last few months ago i just get the feeling she would have said OK but we cant go in my room cos its being decorated.. This is almost becoming a weekly thing now, she agrees to come see me then backs out at the last minute with some ridiculous excuse.
Am i being paranoid? my father had a chat with me about this too. He is saying he thinks shes fucking me about. I just cant be sure. Im really confused, i love her to bits but i dont wanna be used as a mug again. She says everything is fine and on the bus ride to the day trip she was talking about when she passes her driving test the first place shes gonna go is to my house and then what we can do when shes driving etc, and where were going nearer to christmas etc. When we are together she seems fine but when were apart texts hardly ever get replied to and when she does reply its always a gutting 
My first thoughts are her parents are not persuasive of the relationship. I get on with them, but I think they dont like the distance thing. I can only invision them saying they cant take her to me so often 'cause its time consuming, costing them fuel and all the rest. and she doesnt want to tell me this because she fears I will kick off about it.. Maybe..
The other possibility is that she has a problem with me and perhaps even wants to end it or something. This I do fear the most.. It will break me in two but I know that is life and if that comes to it I will have to move on and accept it.
Finally, the least possible IMO, shes cheating/seeing some other guy. This I say least possible is because I have known her for so damn long and I know her friends, and her family probably wouldnt approve of this and someone would have found out about it. Plus she really REALLY doesnt seem the type, shes quiet, sensitive, quite hating of the cheating scenarios. She doesnt really have any spare time or the means to be two timing me either.
What would you do? I know pistol will say im paranoid and shed run a mile from my clingyness  and waldo will say fuck another girl, 1 time a week is fine blabla. But even you guys must agree something aint right here. I just feel like im being kept sweet.
What would you do?
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Support81
Banned
Posts: 332
Location: At home
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| Posted: Sat, 16th Aug 2008 03:34 Post subject: |
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Phluxed
VIP Member
Posts: 4911
Location: Oakville, Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Sat, 16th Aug 2008 04:22 Post subject: |
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Yea, everyone has been telling you to do the same shit forever man... Just talk to her about all the problems.
If you don't trust her, end it. Trust is an important part of any relationship. If you've got no reason not to trust her, it's your issue and it's something you need to work on, and not use your relationship with her as an outlet for your insecurities.
Ask her, if she says everything is fine, and you don't believe her, you need to take some time off.
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| Posted: Sat, 16th Aug 2008 04:38 Post subject: |
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just dl porn and jerk off, jerker
yes
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| Posted: Sat, 16th Aug 2008 06:25 Post subject: |
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I never meant to put you down over it. My point was sometimes you have to relax. On the other hand, sometimes you know something is wrong and may not be able to put your finger on it.
I have no advice for you.
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Cohen
Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
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| Posted: Sat, 16th Aug 2008 11:06 Post subject: |
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right. WEll seems my suspicions where right. I asked her about it and well she basically just avoided most the questions and said *after all this time i guess its time to part our ways*.
OVer a text message. I am fucking gutted. Now she wont reply to me..
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| Posted: Sat, 16th Aug 2008 11:28 Post subject: |
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well that pretty much wraps it up
Intel Core 2 Quad Q6600 - ASUS P5Q-PRO - Mushkin XP2-6400 4GB - Gainward HD4850 Golden Sample - WD 3200AAKS (managed to fry this one, ffs) + WD 6400AAKS - Thermaltake 550W PSU - Thermaltake Soprano VX case
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| Posted: Sat, 16th Aug 2008 12:32 Post subject: |
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Thats nothing man, my ex had me fuck her and that same night she told me it was over between us:LOL: Mwhahaah, how's that for breaking up:) Not a bad way to let someone of the hook. The least she could have done was suck your cock and then once she gets home text you that its over, atleast then you would have a goodbye present, now you have nothing.
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Cohen
Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
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| Posted: Sat, 16th Aug 2008 12:47 Post subject: |
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| kaeye wrote: | | but if shes unhappy I cant do anything more, all Ive done is give. |
Honestly, that's a serious issue in a relationship. And I suggest you shut the door a bit on her.Just to see how she reacts. I don't think you consider yourself a muppet but it looks like she's treating you like one, imo.
What's with this "oh, i think it's time to break-up but ... oh wait! now i'm having second thoughts" bullshit. It's your feelings man. Geez, we'll never understand women.
Intel Core 2 Quad Q6600 - ASUS P5Q-PRO - Mushkin XP2-6400 4GB - Gainward HD4850 Golden Sample - WD 3200AAKS (managed to fry this one, ffs) + WD 6400AAKS - Thermaltake 550W PSU - Thermaltake Soprano VX case
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Cohen
Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
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| Posted: Sat, 16th Aug 2008 13:16 Post subject: |
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Dude, you have to take the carrot away sometimes to make her hunt or she'll have carrot all the time and get fat and bored and then maybe chase another carrot.
I also think fisk should be unbanned.
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| Posted: Sat, 16th Aug 2008 13:17 Post subject: |
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| dominae wrote: | | Dude, you have to take the carrot away sometimes to make her hunt or she'll have carrot all the time and get fat and bored and then maybe chase another carrot. |
Spot on.
Intel Core 2 Quad Q6600 - ASUS P5Q-PRO - Mushkin XP2-6400 4GB - Gainward HD4850 Golden Sample - WD 3200AAKS (managed to fry this one, ffs) + WD 6400AAKS - Thermaltake 550W PSU - Thermaltake Soprano VX case
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| Posted: Sat, 16th Aug 2008 13:31 Post subject: |
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Well... before you take any action find out whats wrong first. I think giving you advise this premature wouldn't be very helpful.
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Cohen
Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
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| Posted: Sat, 16th Aug 2008 13:33 Post subject: |
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yeah, I agree with that too. Ive already told her to take some time for a good think.
Someone on here told me the last time I split with my long term GF (2 years or so) the secod time is not as bad as the first. AS much as im gutted about it, its right. I just see it as a problem to be solved if its worth it or left it isnt.
We shall soon see I guess.. I gave her the ultimatum, now I wait.
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| Posted: Sat, 16th Aug 2008 14:21 Post subject: |
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Mate, watch my topics, I have had my fair share of this same shit, us men are just too good, its as simple as that, if being nice doesn't work then be that asshole they want cuz thats what they are asking for. Be that alpha male and don't take shit anymore, if she sees you value yourself over her she will be feeling like a cunt and not you. I know easier said then done but thats the cold hard truth.
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| Posted: Sat, 16th Aug 2008 19:16 Post subject: |
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Simlar situation. Don't wanna go into it but when you know something is up but can't quite put your finger on it, even through asking them and they say nothing is wrong you just know down in your gut theres something quite not right. All these mind games women like to play is just fucking bullshit.
Could just be being paranoid possibly, but its good advise about the trying not to make yourself so avalible - let her do all the phone calling and shit and see what happens. Yeah I know its hard but If she's genuinely intrested in you she'll call you first.
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Cohen
Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
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| Posted: Sat, 16th Aug 2008 22:41 Post subject: |
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| Skaven wrote: | Simlar situation. Don't wanna go into it but when you know something is up but can't quite put your finger on it, even through asking them and they say nothing is wrong you just know down in your gut theres something quite not right. All these mind games women like to play is just fucking bullshit.
Could just be being paranoid possibly, but its good advise about the trying not to make yourself so avalible - let her do all the phone calling and shit and see what happens. Yeah I know its hard but If she's genuinely intrested in you she'll call you first. |
Yep. doing just that. Havent messaged her back for a few hours now. Just giving the cold shoulder. She got back to me saying she doesnt see a point in changing things or working it out/talking about it and she wants to go by herself and think.. So fuck it.. letting her do so.
IF she comes to me, ok, if not, fuck it, life is too short. At least I know it wasnt me being paranoid all this time, I knew she wanted to tell me something was wrong ; she just didnt have the balls. Shes admitted to me that she didnt tell me because she thought it would get better.. NOT the right thing to do. That is avoiding a situation which only makes it worse.
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Cohen
Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
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| Posted: Sun, 17th Aug 2008 01:27 Post subject: |
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dnno wtf to do about her birthday present i gave her. It was a £300 camera. should i just leave it or ask for it back? Seems like I gave it to her in hope rather than truth.
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| Posted: Sun, 17th Aug 2008 01:57 Post subject: |
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Personally i'd just let her keep it, if you ask for it back now thats pretty much putting the nail in the coffin so to speak. If your sure your not getting back together then yeah, get it back. Either way I hope it works out for you dude, its compleatly shit when you sink your heart into someone for them only to step all over it. Im 26 and its only been about 2 years since i got into the whole dating/girlfriend stuff (yeah, latecomer) and already had my fair share of heartbreaks and girls fucking me about.
I possibly *may* have found what the problem is with mine, putting 2 and 2 together might not exactly come up with 4 so i'll have to be tactful in what I say to her in abit, eitherway ive got to say something - communication is key as they say.
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Cohen
Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
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| Posted: Sun, 17th Aug 2008 11:25 Post subject: |
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Ive been dating/girling since I was about 17, ive had a few, but I either get the too clingy ones of the ones who play head games/mess me about.
I really, really thought this one would last. She was special to me, we had all the things I could dream of in common. Then all of a sudden she just wants out. Maybe it was commitment issues, or perhaps shes just too much of a free spirit and felt tied. I dont know, but tbh now I dont really want her back, shes upset me too much. 5 Years friendship with a splash of summer love and she just dumps me over a text? Fuck it. She can swing..
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| Posted: Sun, 17th Aug 2008 16:08 Post subject: |
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Cohen
Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
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| Posted: Sun, 17th Aug 2008 16:30 Post subject: |
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| wizarD. wrote: | | love hurts |
Word to that mate.
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Cohen
Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
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| Posted: Tue, 19th Aug 2008 01:35 Post subject: |
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well.. Its definitely over.. I think I knew it anyway.. she just txt me after the few days silence and said if i want to meet her and a friend on Thursday to pick up the camera i bought her she will. :/
Cunt.
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Cohen
Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Tue, 19th Aug 2008 02:29 Post subject: |
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sounds like your getting the shaft man
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Cohen
Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
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All times are GMT + 1 Hour |
but if shes unhappy I cant do anything more, all Ive done is give.
She is talking like an adult at least.
Suck on my fat chode rofl
