i really messed up tonight..
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Cohen




Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
PostPosted: Sat, 9th May 2009 01:27    Post subject: i really messed up tonight..
I have to vent this cos I feel so guilty Sad

I havent been posting around here lately.. so busy with work. And its becoming a problem. I seriously think im a workaholic..

I totally lost my temper with my girl and shouted at her over nothing, i dont even know why. I shouted stuff that I didnt love her wanted her to leave and to stay away.. I dont even mean it.. I dont even know why i said it, it just came out.

Im a freelancer and I work way too much i know it.. but I cant stop. Sad Now i feel really bad because my girl didnt deserve it.. I find it really hard to balance life + work. Does anyone else have this prob? Also working from home isnt all its cracked up to be.. I feel really down, low + lonesome. Then when I do have people around me im snappy aggressive, and say stuff i dont mean like i did tonight..

this sucks. probaly my first real bitch of 2009..


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CookieCrumb




Posts: 4670
Location: Celephaïs
PostPosted: Sat, 9th May 2009 01:38    Post subject:
First things first: Go tell your girl you didn't mean all that stuff. You'r overworked etc. just apologize the heck out of it.
I don't know what it's like to work from home. But I do know how it starts to feel when you're alone for some time and then you're around people.
It's... I don't know I just feel like I lose my social skills really really quick.
Sadly, that's a problem no one can really help you with.
If you work as much as you do because you have to (finacially) then there's not much you can do, except use every oppurtunity you have to get out of the house - if you don't need the money that badly, work less - that's just something you have to learn - sort of "let go" I suppose.
I know this doesn't really help but let me say this: I know how you feel sort of. Sad
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Frant
King's Bounty



Posts: 24590
Location: Your Mom
PostPosted: Sat, 9th May 2009 01:40    Post subject:
Sounds like you're on a burnout path. You need to somehow pull back and recuperate and get your bearings.


Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

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Newty182




Posts: 10798
Location: UK
PostPosted: Sat, 9th May 2009 01:43    Post subject:
Think i get where your coming from, wgem. What do you do dude?


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vaifan1986




Posts: 4638
Location: Birthplace of the necktie.
PostPosted: Sat, 9th May 2009 01:58    Post subject:
I agree with Reklis, but an apology isn't enough. You need to make sure that doesn't happen again. You need to find a way to,this is gonna sound really corny, channel your frustrations.
Depending on how much free time you have, you need to find something you can vent at, prefferably something that has no feelings.
If you're working at home, try finding a hobby that gets you out of the house, go to a gym, beat the crap out of a punching bag.
The reason why you snapped at your girl is probably because of accumulated grievances.
I know, all this must sound like psycho babble, but the point is you need an outlet, something controllable that can vent stress at regular intervals, rather than uncontrollable and all at once.

I got a friend who uses bumper cars as an outlet, another has football games. You just need to find yours.
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dominae
Banned



Posts: 2425

PostPosted: Sat, 9th May 2009 02:02    Post subject:
Just get in touch with her ASAP, the longer you wait. The harder it gets.
Tell her the words you said was a lot of steam and that you fucked up.


I also think fisk should be unbanned.
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WaldoJ
VIP Member



Posts: 32678

PostPosted: Sat, 9th May 2009 02:04    Post subject:
lol simple. buy her flowers. chocolates. make her a nice din din and apologize.

i know where you're at. i snapped at a couple people the other day. I worked 40 hours straight at a concert. loading and unloading shit and then shooting and heck having a blast listening to live jazz. but when i got home i just passed out. woke up all muscles aching and shit and then bang peeps are all like you comin you comin at 12 pm and i got home at 3 am. so i just yelled at them. i never heard myself yel out of anger it was awesome Razz


But yeah.... balancing p life and work is hard. especially when you're freelance. i got a gurl and i barely see her. it's normal. it's freelance work. and since you want more of it you gotta work your ass off. Sad

I'm interning as freelance. So I don't get paid but i put in hours as freelance. So I got more reasons to complain. But I love waht I do right now.

you just have to find a balance or make it. extend your deadlines if you have to.


Sin317 wrote:
I win, you lose. Or Go fuck yourself.
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Cohen




Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
PostPosted: Sat, 9th May 2009 02:15    Post subject:
Newty182 wrote:
Think i get where your coming from, wgem. What do you do dude?


Web design + other graphic stuffs..


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Newty182




Posts: 10798
Location: UK
PostPosted: Sat, 9th May 2009 02:18    Post subject:
Still waiting for an answer, we need a bigger picture. My guess is she would like to know that she comes before your work. Girls are girls dude, you need to tell her what she wants to hear but still you need to balance your work out and pay her attention. Am i right or off track? Its hard when you give so little info.

EDIT: BRB.. when im sober.. lol


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Paintface




Posts: 6877

PostPosted: Sat, 9th May 2009 02:35    Post subject:
start playing world of warcraft to relax and join a raiding guild.
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Cohen




Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
PostPosted: Sat, 9th May 2009 02:44    Post subject:
fuck that. I think im gonna spend some of the extra money i have made this week on a gaming console + TV.. I need to unwind Neutral


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Newty182




Posts: 10798
Location: UK
PostPosted: Sat, 9th May 2009 02:53    Post subject:
wgem wrote:
fuck that. I think im gonna spend some of the extra money i have made this week on a gaming console + TV.. I need to unwind Neutral



Or, drop work and take your bird away on holiday..


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Cohen




Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
PostPosted: Sat, 9th May 2009 03:02    Post subject:
we where gonna do that. but she cant get the time off work. kinda Laughing really.


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tainted4ever
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Posts: 11336

PostPosted: Sat, 9th May 2009 03:17    Post subject:
My dad just lost his job today. I'm the only one in the family with a steady income, tho my mom has a job but she's expecting to get laid off at any moment. I've yet to yell at my girl, but I know the mood swings you're going through. Sometimes I just want to visit violence upon someone for no reason, but then I just sit back and think: "what the fuck are you about to do?". Then the big burning feeling in your chest passes and you just feel tired... and start thinking if suicide would help. But it won't.


Sense Amid Madness, Wit Amidst Folly
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VGAdeadcafe




Posts: 22230
Location: ★ ಠ_ಠ ★
PostPosted: Sat, 9th May 2009 03:37    Post subject:
When I feel bad, I think about all the ppl that have terminal diseases, live impoverished, in prison for decades, others born with disability, fat girls ... and my life seems extremely good in comparison !
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tainted4ever
VIP Member



Posts: 11336

PostPosted: Sat, 9th May 2009 04:56    Post subject:
^Yep, that's one of the things that keeps me going. I just imagine the guy with no limbs I saw on a video somewhere around here... no matter how bad things get I still have my health and my family. Can't ask for more than that.


Sense Amid Madness, Wit Amidst Folly
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JeanPerrier




Posts: 3247

PostPosted: Sat, 9th May 2009 05:15    Post subject:
i've had the agression for a couple of months now (since i broke up(i think, hope so, so at least i know why)). when im drunk i snap and i know it before i start drinking that it will happen but i drink anyway. I snap against my best friends, against my best girlfriends. Its really crazy, i never used to do that. I kinda lost my way to cope with stress and emotional imbalance i guess.
When i talk to someone, i sometimes, out of the blue, i stop responding, stop giving a shit. I can have a nice converstation with someone and all of the sudden i just think, wtf, why am i talking to this idiot/bitch, what the hell am i doing here. Then i try to avoid further conversation and just go but when thats not possible i just snap.
And it feels so good to snap, to shout, to be angry, to let it all out.
ive beat up some people pretty bad because they were looking the wrong way at my friends at a time im in an angry mood. I feel really bad about that but at the same time it feels really good.
I also find myself not giving a shit talking to strangers. Which is really weird cause im a very very social person. im in a loop of agression and pain, lately its getting better tho, drinking brings joy again and sober its also good but i still have the feeling of this rage inside, a rage that i cant explain, but a rage that has to come out. And i always fear for the next time, cause there will be a next time that i will hurt one of my friends by yelling at them.

I


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faggotman
Banned



Posts: 14

PostPosted: Sat, 9th May 2009 05:20    Post subject:
lolz at uz nerdz.
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Oddmaker
Moderator



Posts: 2586

PostPosted: Sat, 9th May 2009 05:20    Post subject:
I went out with mates tonight and now my misses is txting me saying whats the point, I hardly do shit like this and she gets pissy, al'well i cant be arsed with it.


dust.
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WaldoJ
VIP Member



Posts: 32678

PostPosted: Sat, 9th May 2009 06:30    Post subject:
faggotman wrote:
lolz at uz nerdz.


we iznt nerdz Razz nerdz dun get laid. at all. i know a couple nerdz. couple of em complete fags. but's all cool. Mates are mates. Birds are birds. You can live w/o a bird for a while, but living w/o any mates for a long while is impossible.

Lil arguments. Like the one this boi had... burst of agression sayin shit you dun mean.... you sorta do mean them. it's the insides pouring out. like when you get drunk and you tell all your mates that couple weeks ago you shagged a total whale and when you got home you can still smell her rank juices on ya. and you're trying to get rid of em, but you fall asleep in em, and when you wake up that rank stench is up your nose and you're trying to figure out if you enjoyed yourself or if it was jsut a pity fuck. all in all... birds come and go. all the time. you lose one, you get back up, smile a smile and find another one.

If you start beating your bird, not your monkey, you can easily find a gurl that's into that shit. most preferably a lass with an abusive father as a part of her past. they're usually easy to lay and love getting bottles thrown at them while sobbing loudly in the corner, but at the end of the day they still suck you off and hope you never leave them. So yay to that.

But seriously wgem, you twat, talk to her. tell her you're under a bit of stress and it happens. and try not to pile up plenty of projects. if you're good at what you do, you can easily upscale your pricing a tad. enough to do fewer projects a month and still get paid enough to buy condoms, booze, chips, and flowers for the miss. Smile


trust me you can't balance it. unless she works with you.


Sin317 wrote:
I win, you lose. Or Go fuck yourself.
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spankie
VIP Member



Posts: 2958
Location: Belgium
PostPosted: Sat, 9th May 2009 14:41    Post subject:
well yeah i have the same problem... But you do have to relax or you will crash.

I have weeks where i work 8 to 9 and feel like i am being chased all day long, don't sleep well, think about the work that needs to be done the next day... But you have to pull back because it is not healthy. So the next week i try to work 9-5, see some friends, have some fun etc.

Just think about the fact that you work more in your 'chill week' than a normal person does in its 'work week' and you will realise there is no shame in chilling down.

And just tell the girl, when you are relaxed, that she has to let you just do when you are busy. Sometimes i am programming and my girl starts asking things, and it is so annoying, because you lose your way of thinking. So i once started shouting at here to STFU. And she didn't understand. I just put her in front of the pc and my program and explained what it is supposed to do and then i told her that i cannot work when someone is talking to me. So we made an agreement. When i am working at home she first asks if she can ask me something, then i say "yes" or "no, but wait 1 min". Then i finish my code, or make notes so i dont forget my brilliant idea and i make time.

But dude, you certainly have sort your shit out because losing your emotional balance is already worse than the 'unhealthy stress' phase, it is a way to complete burnout. The difference between 9 or 10h/day is huge. What also helps is just 1 day/week where you only work 6-7h/day and just start at 7-8 in the morning and you have a whole afternoon to relax, just work a bit later the next days then.
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Cohen




Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
PostPosted: Sat, 9th May 2009 17:42    Post subject:
I already feel undescribable.. I have huge urges to lash out.. i feel agitated, aggressive.. I dont have the patience to concentrate on anything :/ It is not me..

I'm actually quite worried for myself.. but there isnt much I can do. I wouldnt say I feel depressed, I just feel.. empty? kinda lost and frustrated. Think I should just cut the net for a couple of days and go out the house.


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lhzr




Posts: 3902
Location: RO
PostPosted: Sat, 9th May 2009 19:42    Post subject:
advice club to the rescue!!

does she give you pussy on a regular basis? 'cause if she doesn't, it's her fault that you lost control with her. and even if she does fuck you, blame it on her anyway. tell her it's not happening often enough and you'll see the situation magically turning in your favour Laughing
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Yondaime
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PostPosted: Sat, 9th May 2009 19:44    Post subject:
⁢⁢


Last edited by Yondaime on Mon, 2nd Dec 2024 16:04; edited 1 time in total
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Cohen




Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
PostPosted: Sun, 10th May 2009 02:35    Post subject:
I just blew $2,000 on home entertainment including a new wallmountable TV + 360 console.. Time to unwind and take some time off Smile Shes happy because she loves gaming, so I bought guitar hero + left 4 dead for her to play and Condemned 2 for myself Smile


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pistolshrimp
Über-VIP Member



Posts: 11007

PostPosted: Sun, 10th May 2009 03:43    Post subject:
Just be yourself.
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WankStaiNuK




Posts: 820
Location: England, UK
PostPosted: Mon, 11th May 2009 16:13    Post subject:
Fuck me, looks like im not the only 1 who fucked up this weekend!!! OMFG, what a complete cock i am. My EX who ive got a 5 year old with, attacked me on friday infront on my son, and he was well freaked out, he asked her to stop, and she got worse and worse, so i ended up booting her up the ass to get her away from me, and i know i shouldnt of, but the twisted bitch has turned it around, and now im not allowed to see him anymore!!!! FUCK Sad


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Newty182




Posts: 10798
Location: UK
PostPosted: Mon, 11th May 2009 16:19    Post subject:
WankStaiNuK wrote:
Fuck me, looks like im not the only 1 who fucked up this weekend!!! OMFG, what a complete cock i am. My EX who ive got a 5 year old with, attacked me on friday infront on my son, and he was well freaked out, he asked her to stop, and she got worse and worse, so i ended up booting her up the ass to get her away from me, and i know i shouldnt of, but the twisted bitch has turned it around, and now im not allowed to see him anymore!!!! FUCK Sad


I'm waiting for all the people to come in here saying you should never hit a bird, but imo, that only applied when women acted ladylike.

Whats going to happen now then, are you going to wait until things settle down and then see what the score is?


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WankStaiNuK




Posts: 820
Location: England, UK
PostPosted: Mon, 11th May 2009 16:32    Post subject:
Newty182 wrote:
WankStaiNuK wrote:
Fuck me, looks like im not the only 1 who fucked up this weekend!!! OMFG, what a complete cock i am. My EX who ive got a 5 year old with, attacked me on friday infront on my son, and he was well freaked out, he asked her to stop, and she got worse and worse, so i ended up booting her up the ass to get her away from me, and i know i shouldnt of, but the twisted bitch has turned it around, and now im not allowed to see him anymore!!!! FUCK Sad


I'm waiting for all the people to come in here saying you should never hit a bird, but imo, that only applied when women acted ladylike.

Whats going to happen now then, are you going to wait until things settle down and then see what the score is?


I agree, you should never hit a bird, but i flipped and kicked her up the ass, as i hated her doing that crazy shit in front of my son, but if it makes sense, i would never properly hit a bird!!! im annoyed at mysefl, i should of rose above it!!
Ive just spoken to her, i appologised, but shes still giving me lots of shit, i never knew some1 u know so well could be so fucking evil. Im not allowed to see him, so i guess ill just have to wait for things to calm down!! Heads fucked, as i love them both,even after whats happened, and all she can do is just play mind games with me Mad
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