why did the chicken cross the road...
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SpykeZ




Posts: 23710

PostPosted: Wed, 7th Oct 2009 17:03    Post subject: why did the chicken cross the road...
to get to the other side..

why did the baby cross the road?

 Spoiler:
 


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Epsilon
Dr. Strangelove



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PostPosted: Wed, 7th Oct 2009 17:04    Post subject:
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LeoNatan
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Location: Ramat Gan, Israel 🇮🇱
PostPosted: Wed, 7th Oct 2009 17:07    Post subject:
What's grosser than gross?
An abortion bucket full of dead babies.

What's grosser than that?
The one at the bottom is still alive.

What's grosser than that?
It's eating its way out.

What's grosser than that?
It goes back for more.

What's grosser than that?
Changing its diaper.

Cool Face
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SpykeZ




Posts: 23710

PostPosted: Wed, 7th Oct 2009 17:11    Post subject:
iNatan wrote:
What's grosser than gross?
An abortion bucket full of dead babies.

What's grosser than that?
The one at the bottom is still alive.

What's grosser than that?
It's eating its way out.

What's grosser than that?
It goes back for more.

What's grosser than that?
Changing its diaper.

Cool Face


here I am....waiting to get flamed for such vile humor, and you go and 1 up me.

fuck you.

What's bright blue, pink, and sizzles?
A baby trying to breast feed from an electrical outlet.

What's red, screams and goes around in circles?
A baby with its foot nailed to the floor.


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LeoNatan
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PostPosted: Wed, 7th Oct 2009 17:17    Post subject:
The bucket joke is the funniest dead baby joke I have ever read and I love it the most. I hope someone tops it here in this thread. Cool Face
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dingo_d
VIP Member



Posts: 14555

PostPosted: Wed, 7th Oct 2009 17:17    Post subject:
Found this jewel Very Happy

1. What is funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume.
2. What is the difference between a baby and a onion?
No one cries when you chop up the baby.
3. What is the difference between a dead baby and a water melon?
One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other one's a water melon.
4. What is the difference between a baby and a dart-board?
Dart-boards don't bleed.
5. What is the difference between a baby and a mars bar?
About 500 calories.
6. Why did the family take the dead baby along on the cookout?
So they could light it and toast their marshmallows.
7. Why was the dead baby kept in the kitchen drawer?
The family used it to crack nuts.
8. Why do people keep dead babies in the rec. room?
They cut off one leg and use it as a ping pong paddle.
9. Why do you put babies into blenders feet first?
So you can see the expression on their faces.
10. Why do they boil water when a baby is being born?
So that if its born dead they can make soup.
11. Why did the baby cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.
12. How many babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil?
It depends on how hard you squeeze them.
13. How many babies fit in a blender?
Depends on how powerful the blender is.
14. How do you know when a baby is dead?
It doesn't cry if you nail its feet to the ceiling.
15. How do you find the live baby in a pile of dead ones?
Jab 'em all with a pitchfork.
16. How do you save a drowning baby?
Harpoon it.
17. How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Pour gas over it and light a match. Woof.
18. How do you turn a baby into a cat?
Freeze it solid, then run it through a bandsaw. Meeow.
19. How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
With a blender.
How do you get them out again?
With Doritos.
20. How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off its head.
or:
A glass of soda water and 2 scoops of baby.
21. What do you call two abortions in a bucket?
Blood brothers.
22. What is red and is creeping up your leg?
An abortion with homesickness.
23. What is a foot long and can make a woman scream?
Stillbirth.
24. What is a foot long, blue, and makes women scream in the morning?
Crib death.
25. What do you call a dead baby pinned to your wall?
Art.
26. What is red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding?
A baby in a microwave.
27. What is blue and yellow and sits at the bottom of the pool?
Baby with slashed floaties.
28. What is red and yellow and floats at the top of the pool?
Floaties with a slashed baby.
29. What is red and hangs around trees?
A baby hit by a snow blower.
30. What is green and hangs around trees?
Same baby 3 weeks later.
31. What is pink and red and silver and crawls into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.
32. What is pink and goes black with a "hiss."?
A baby thrown into a furnace.
33. What is brown and gurgles?
A baby in a casserole.
34. What is purple, covered in pus, and squeals?
A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
35. What is black and goes up and down?
A baby in a toaster.
36. What is red and hangs out of the back of a train?
A miscarriage.
37. What is red and goes round and round?
A baby in a garbage disposal.
38. What is red and swings back and forth?
A baby on a meat hook.
39. What is red, screams, and goes around in circles?
A baby nailed to the floor.
40. What is red and sits in the corner?
A baby with razor blades.
41. What is blue and sits in the corner?
A baby in a baggie.
42. What is black and sits in a corner?
A baby with it's finger in a power socket.
43. What is green and sits in the corner?
Same baby two weeks later.
44. What is black and charred?
A baby chewing on an extension cord.
45. What is black and white, runs around the room, and smokes?
A baby with his hair on fire.
46. What is blue and flies around the room at high speeds?
A baby with a punctured lung.
47. What is cold, blue and doesn't move?
A baby in your freezer.
48. What is pink, flies and squeals?
A baby fired from a catapult.
What do you call the baby when it lands?
Free pizza.
49. What is red and has more brains than the baby you just shot?
The wall behind it.
50. What is white and glows pink?
A dead baby with an electrode up its ass.
51. What is more fun than nailing a baby to a wall?
Ripping it off again.
52. What is more fun than throwing a baby off the cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
53. What is more fun than swinging babies around on a clothesline?
Stopping them with a shovel.
54. What is more fun than shoveling dead babies off your porch?
Doing it with a snow blower.
55. What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller?
A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.
56. What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A baby tied to the back of a truck.
57. What goes plop, plop, fizz, fizz?
Twins in an acid bath.
58. What is red and pink and can't turn round in a corridor?
A baby with a javelin through its throat.
59. What is little and can't fit through a door?
A baby with a spear in its head.
60. What is the definition of fun?
Playing fetch with a pitbull and a baby.
61. What has 4 legs and one arm?
A doberman on a children's playground.
62. What has 10 arms and blood all over it?
A pitbull in front of a pile of dead babies.
63. What is red and pink and hanging out of your dog's mouth?
Your baby's leg.
64. What present do you get for a dead baby?
A dead puppy.
65. What is grosser than ten dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
66. What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?
100 dead babies in a trash can.
What is worse than that?
There's a live one at the bottom.
What is worse than that?
It eats its way out.
What is worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
67. Know what's gross?
Running over a baby with a truck.
Know whats worse?
Skidding on it.
Worse than that?
Peeling it off the tires.
68. What is the worst part about killing a baby?
Getting blood on your clown suit.


"Quantum mechanics is actually, contrary to it's reputation, unbeliveably simple, once you take the physics out."
Scott Aaronson
chiv wrote:
thats true you know. newton didnt discover gravity. the apple told him about it, and then he killed it. the core was never found.

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SpykeZ




Posts: 23710

PostPosted: Wed, 7th Oct 2009 17:25    Post subject:
How do you stop a baby from choking?
Take your dick out of its mouth.




I think I like this one the most

What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman?
A baby with a black eye!


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LeoNatan
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Location: Ramat Gan, Israel 🇮🇱
PostPosted: Wed, 7th Oct 2009 17:26    Post subject:
Epsolon is gonna pop a blood vessel Laughing
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SpykeZ




Posts: 23710

PostPosted: Wed, 7th Oct 2009 17:29    Post subject:
ahhhhh I found it!!

Q: What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib?
 Spoiler:
 


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Lutzifer
Modzilla



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PostPosted: Wed, 7th Oct 2009 18:07    Post subject:
Q: What does a deaf and blind kid get for christmas?

 Spoiler:
 
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helvete




Posts: 2727
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Wed, 7th Oct 2009 18:11    Post subject:
Lutzifer wrote:
Q: What does a deaf and blind kid get for christmas?

 Spoiler:
 


AAAHAHAHA!!


REPOST
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dingo_d
VIP Member



Posts: 14555

PostPosted: Wed, 7th Oct 2009 18:18    Post subject:
Lutzifer wrote:
Q: What does a deaf and blind kid get for christmas?

 Spoiler:
 


hahahaha Laughing That's so evil!!! Twisted Evil


"Quantum mechanics is actually, contrary to it's reputation, unbeliveably simple, once you take the physics out."
Scott Aaronson
chiv wrote:
thats true you know. newton didnt discover gravity. the apple told him about it, and then he killed it. the core was never found.

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lhzr




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Location: RO
PostPosted: Wed, 7th Oct 2009 18:29    Post subject:


Last edited by lhzr on Thu, 24th Dec 2015 13:47; edited 1 time in total
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Lutzifer
Modzilla



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PostPosted: Wed, 7th Oct 2009 18:33    Post subject:
dingo_d wrote:
Lutzifer wrote:
Q: What does a deaf and blind kid get for christmas?

 Spoiler:
 


hahahaha Laughing That's so evil!!! Twisted Evil


i always thought that the crib death joke (also somewhere above) was the most evil for me. At least when told properly.

but then this gem came along Very Happy

its the most evil joke i ve heard so far
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_SiN_
Megatron



Posts: 12108
Location: Cybertron
PostPosted: Wed, 7th Oct 2009 18:43    Post subject:
What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari?

- There's no Ferrari in my garage Cool Face


Watercooled 5950X | AORUS Master X570 | Asus RTX 3090 TUF Gaming OC | 64Gb RAM | 1Tb 970 Evo Plus + 2Tb 660p | etc etc
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Lutzifer
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PostPosted: Wed, 7th Oct 2009 18:45    Post subject:
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LeoNatan
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PostPosted: Wed, 7th Oct 2009 18:45    Post subject:
Lutzifer wrote:
Q: What does a deaf and blind kid get for christmas?

 Spoiler:
 


Wouldn't paralysis by worse, though? Laughing Cancer is a way out, after all. Cool Face
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deelix
PDIP Member



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Location: Norway
PostPosted: Wed, 7th Oct 2009 18:56    Post subject:
you cannot compete with Leos twisted mind SpykeZ Twisted Evil Cool Face
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Lutzifer
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PostPosted: Wed, 7th Oct 2009 19:03    Post subject:
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SpykeZ




Posts: 23710

PostPosted: Wed, 7th Oct 2009 19:40    Post subject:
iNatan wrote:
Lutzifer wrote:
Q: What does a deaf and blind kid get for christmas?

 Spoiler:
 


Wouldn't paralysis by worse, though? Laughing Cancer is a way out, after all. Cool Face


didn't whats his name actor just die of cancer? I say it's still in


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PumpAction
[Schmadmin]



Posts: 26759

PostPosted: Wed, 7th Oct 2009 19:55    Post subject:
What does a paralyzed kid get for easter?
 Spoiler:
 


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GeordieRacer




Posts: 4008
Location: Leeds, UK
PostPosted: Wed, 7th Oct 2009 19:58    Post subject:
Why did the pervert cross the road?

Because he couldnt get his dick out the chicken
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maxiepaxie




Posts: 1732
Location: Belgium
PostPosted: Wed, 7th Oct 2009 22:09    Post subject:
SpykeZ wrote:
didn't whats his name actor just die of cancer? I say it's still in

Swayze?
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me7




Posts: 3939

PostPosted: Wed, 7th Oct 2009 23:17    Post subject:
maxiepaxie wrote:
SpykeZ wrote:
didn't whats his name actor just die of cancer? I say it's still in

Swayze?


Laughing
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Newty182




Posts: 10798
Location: UK
PostPosted: Wed, 7th Oct 2009 23:28    Post subject:
Joke I heard, very sick... and not really funny..
 Spoiler:
 


Ryzen 5 5600, ASUS ROG STRIX B550-F GAMING WIFI II, Corsair Vengeance RGB RT 32GB 3600MHz C16, Zotac RTX 3060 Ti, Corsair RMx Series RM750x. AOC AGON AG324UX - 4K 144Hz 1ms GTG IPS FreeSync KVM
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GeordieRacer




Posts: 4008
Location: Leeds, UK
PostPosted: Wed, 7th Oct 2009 23:30    Post subject:
Newty182 wrote:
Joke I heard, very sick... and not really funny..
 Spoiler:
 


I laughed so hard
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Lutzifer
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PostPosted: Thu, 8th Oct 2009 00:07    Post subject:
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ixigia
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PostPosted: Thu, 8th Oct 2009 01:17    Post subject:
ahahahah
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Newty182




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Location: UK
PostPosted: Thu, 8th Oct 2009 01:19    Post subject:
A duck is about to cross the road. Chicken comes by and says, I wouldn't bother, you will never hear the end of it.


Ryzen 5 5600, ASUS ROG STRIX B550-F GAMING WIFI II, Corsair Vengeance RGB RT 32GB 3600MHz C16, Zotac RTX 3060 Ti, Corsair RMx Series RM750x. AOC AGON AG324UX - 4K 144Hz 1ms GTG IPS FreeSync KVM
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SpykeZ




Posts: 23710

PostPosted: Thu, 8th Oct 2009 03:50    Post subject:
Newty182 wrote:
A duck is about to cross the road. Chicken comes by and says, I wouldn't bother, you will never hear the end of it.



ROFLMAO!!! Crying or Very sad oh that was awesome!


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