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Rofl_Mao
Posts: 3187
Location: Nederland
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Posted: Sun, 28th Nov 2010 14:29 Post subject: Vegetables that make your bowels go BOOM |
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I just hate it when my food gives me gas. For instance I like eating dishes with onions. But within half an hour my digestive system will start rumbling, and I need to run for the hallway to safely discharge myself of putrid methane gases. Well I'm happy I can at least decently fart in private. Some elderly folks I now start tooting whenever they move a limb
So anyway... these are the risky vegetables that angry up my bowels. Shame really because they're really healthy.
-onions
-leek
-bell pepper
-beans (the classic)
Lopin18 wrote: | I think you played too much Fallout 3, Pedo Perk acquired.  |
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Rofl_Mao
Posts: 3187
Location: Nederland
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Posted: Sun, 28th Nov 2010 21:06 Post subject: |
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notyouraveragetobias wrote: | Don't forget, garlic turns most people into fart factories. And if Rofl_Mao added cheese to what he usually eats, his neighbors would complain about him and he would have to special order a toilet that can be used as a computer desk chair. |
Funny thing is: garlic doesn't do anything in my case. It seems to give people bad breath, but not for me. I don't like cheese... which is a good thing perhaps since I'm already a little too flatulent
Trivia: the average amount of farts is 19 a day. So that's 133 farts a week and 6900 a year. So the average person will crack nearly 600.000 farts in his lifetime! This redefines the phrase "someone's last breath" in a nasty way 
Lopin18 wrote: | I think you played too much Fallout 3, Pedo Perk acquired.  |
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Posted: Sun, 28th Nov 2010 21:08 Post subject: |
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Nice to know I breath in so many farts every day...
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Posted: Mon, 29th Nov 2010 17:03 Post subject: |
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corn kinda makes me blow it up. it doesn't give me the blow shits or anything it just seems to set "events" in motion. broccoli on the other hand sets some serious gas cramps in motion. damn near painful at times. i had either a really bad stomach virus or possible food poisoning a couple weeks ago. whatever it was it lasted about 10 days. i didn't know that gas cramps could be that painful but damn - all i could do at times was double over in agony. plus i had diarrhea so bad that i couldn't fart and relieve the pressure. lost 6lbs on the first day of my sickness and had to get an IV of fluid to get rehydrated.
about old people farting all the time, when i was younger i recall being in a dept store and i was on the book aisle kneeling down thumbing through a book. out of my peripheral vision i notice an old woman backing down the aisle. i just figure she's backing in to turn around, maybe someone was coming through with a large pallet, etc. next thing i know she's about 5 foot from me and i hear a fart and then she pushes off and goes on like nothing happened.
absolutely traumatized for the rest of my life now
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Posted: Mon, 29th Nov 2010 17:44 Post subject: |
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If you eat lots of veggies all the time your bowls get used to it.
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Posted: Tue, 30th Nov 2010 09:51 Post subject: |
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killabyte wrote: | corn kinda makes me blow it up. it doesn't give me the blow shits or anything it just seems to set "events" in motion. broccoli on the other hand sets some serious gas cramps in motion. damn near painful at times. i had either a really bad stomach virus or possible food poisoning a couple weeks ago. whatever it was it lasted about 10 days. i didn't know that gas cramps could be that painful but damn - all i could do at times was double over in agony. plus i had diarrhea so bad that i couldn't fart and relieve the pressure. lost 6lbs on the first day of my sickness and had to get an IV of fluid to get rehydrated.
about old people farting all the time, when i was younger i recall being in a dept store and i was on the book aisle kneeling down thumbing through a book. out of my peripheral vision i notice an old woman backing down the aisle. i just figure she's backing in to turn around, maybe someone was coming through with a large pallet, etc. next thing i know she's about 5 foot from me and i hear a fart and then she pushes off and goes on like nothing happened.
absolutely traumatized for the rest of my life now |
So now every time you see an old woman approaching you? Do you scream out "Noooo!!!" and run away as fast as you can?
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Posted: Tue, 30th Nov 2010 18:36 Post subject: |
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kazemaky wrote: | I ate a pizza with jalopeno and garlic a few weeks ago and the diarrhea felt like there was fire coming out of my ass . Ill never ever eat jalopena again. |
Hahaha 
"Quantum mechanics is actually, contrary to it's reputation, unbeliveably simple, once you take the physics out."
Scott Aaronson chiv wrote: | thats true you know. newton didnt discover gravity. the apple told him about it, and then he killed it. the core was never found. |
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