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 Posted: Fri, 22nd Jun 2012 09:04 Post subject: dont want to settle down, am i weird? |
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Hi,
first of all sorry if my nick looks a bit stupid, I was in the middle of PC upgrade frenzy when I was making hump account hehe
so I wanted to ask you guys if I'm crazy/weird for not wanting to settle down with marriage, family life, kids and all that in any foreseeable future. i'm 27 now and it's starting to get to me, all that society pressure 
i think the biggest issue is that i still feel like a kid, i look like a damn kid too. everyone who doesn't know my age think i just finished high school.
My career, if i can yet call it that, started only last year because it took me a few years to find field of study that i liked, because of that i got my degree 3 years later than my peers. i feel like MY LIFE is just starting, so the thought of getting married and all that feels insane to me.
at this point i don't know if i want to have family and kids, but i'm afraid that when i do know it could be too late. but on the other hand i read that in most western europe countries, men who are highly educated, tend to get married way later, at the age of 32-35 avarage.
i didn't even play games for a while, because my mind is like "games are kids stuff, you need to grow up already". but i love gaming 
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garus
VIP Member
Posts: 34200
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| Posted: Fri, 22nd Jun 2012 09:06 Post subject: |
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snip
Last edited by garus on Tue, 27th Aug 2024 21:40; edited 1 time in total
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| Posted: Fri, 22nd Jun 2012 09:13 Post subject: |
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This is when you start shuffling like a hustla'. It's fun to go through the women's catalogue without falling into a trap, as long as YOU KNOW what you want, you'll be fine, but do you?
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dsergei
Posts: 4053
Location: Moscow, Russia
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| Posted: Fri, 22nd Jun 2012 09:28 Post subject: |
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fuck her in the butt and play some King's Bounty
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| Posted: Fri, 22nd Jun 2012 09:36 Post subject: |
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So what you want, don't give in to peer pressure. And what do you mean with "too late"? Men are more 'valuable' when older anyway 
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Saner
Posts: 6877
Location: Uk
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| Posted: Fri, 22nd Jun 2012 09:50 Post subject: |
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No not weird. Perhaps smarter then most. That could in itself make you weird. Weird in a good way.
 Spoiler: | don't cave to peer pressure. Peer pressure is EVIL |
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| Posted: Fri, 22nd Jun 2012 09:52 Post subject: |
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spankie
VIP Member
Posts: 2958
Location: Belgium
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| Posted: Fri, 22nd Jun 2012 10:16 Post subject: |
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Well, I understand you. A lot of people are so fucking boring nowadays.
They go to uni, they graduate, and at 23 they marry, build a house and byebye life. Then they start producing children at 24 25 or so and it's completely byebye. So basically you are giving up on life once you have the money to enjoy it. With a house a children, no time to do something crazy.
Why would you settle down if you don't yet know what to do in life? People should realize that a loooot changes once you start working full time. It's a turning point in a relationship, maybe you don't like each other that much, careers can change rapidly, maybe you don't like your job, maybe you will have to travel a lot, maybe you decide that working aint your thing and you become an adventurer, maybe you will move abroad. Can't really do that when you bought a house with a huge mortgage or have 1-2yr old children.
I prefer it my way. I rent a house and I have no children at 26. Am I late? Nah. Could I settle down if I really want to? Yeah probably. But I like my freedom. Just take a plane or car on friday. Go somewhere crazy, go on an adventure and come back on monday. Travel, move around, etc etc. Go to the USA, look for a job there, work abroad 2 months in a certain department and then come back, do roadtrips everywhere, go climbing in Scotland with some random group of friends.
It's not that I don't have a relationship, it's just that you should keep your options open. I always told my girls I would stop climbing the more exotic routes and dangerous stuff once I have children. So they know I am responsible. I always tell them I only want children between my 30 and 35. And I always told them I will only buy a house once I am completely sure I found the job of my life and I will keep travelling for work.
1) And marriage, who gives a fuck? I personally know some big ass sluts who had more sausage than Heinz ketchup. So they start detoriating at 21-22 and the dude that was 'lucky' to be the one at that moment can marry her. Big ass party, church marriage (lol, hypocrites!), building big ass house, big ass mortgage, big ass boring job, big ass boring life. You know, the MTV generation... Bragging with external wealth bullcrap. Oh yeah, and a gazillion pictures on facebook. *sigh*
2) I know other people who had not that many dicks, treated their bf/gf with respect, they travelled a lot, had the guts to stay single because they were travelling a lot (no whiney whiney 'i need a man/girl to be happy' crap), graduated, found a job abroad, went there for a couple of years, made shitloads of money, come back, finally found what they wanted, settled down, found a girl, have children etc.
I personally have shitloads more of respect for #2 than #1, enjoy life, take responsibility and everything will be ok 
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dsergei
Posts: 4053
Location: Moscow, Russia
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tonizito
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Posts: 51399
Location: Portugal, the shithole of Europe.
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| Posted: Fri, 22nd Jun 2012 10:20 Post subject: |
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Just do what you want, you Intel_NVIDIA fan-manchild!
| boundle (thoughts on cracking AITD) wrote: | | i guess thouth if without a legit key the installation was rolling back we are all fucking then |
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| Posted: Fri, 22nd Jun 2012 11:04 Post subject: |
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27 is still really young mate, take it from me if you rush and end up with the wrong person then it's total hell and its a hell that you slide into and just don't notice and it becomes accepted until you step out which is harder than it sounds.
Live your life and enjoy what you enjoy. When you meet the right person you will know as clichéd as it sounds. Until then go out with your mates, have a laugh, have a beer and just date as many girls as you can.
I'm 35 been married and have just recently found a top girl but still see my mates and enjoy life
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| Posted: Fri, 22nd Jun 2012 11:13 Post subject: |
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Always remember
Men age like wine
Women age like milk
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| Posted: Fri, 22nd Jun 2012 11:14 Post subject: |
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I say that You prolly need true LOVE.
3080 | ps5 pro
Sin317-"im 31 years old and still surprised at how much shit comes out of my ass actually ..."
SteamDRM-"Call of Duty is the symbol of the true perfection in every aspect. Call of Duty games are like Mozart's/Beethoven's symphonies"
deadpoetic-"are you new to the cyberspace?"
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| Posted: Fri, 22nd Jun 2012 11:20 Post subject: |
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| KillerCrocker wrote: | | I say that You prolly need true LOVE. |
That's not a wise idea.
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spankie
VIP Member
Posts: 2958
Location: Belgium
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| Posted: Fri, 22nd Jun 2012 11:32 Post subject: |
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| KillerCrocker wrote: | | I say that You prolly need true LOVE. |
Yeah, that's the Notebook version of relationships. It doesn't always work that way. Sometimes you have to use your brains as well. You can be madly in love at age 18 or 20. But having 2-3 babies is probably not such a good idea.
My uncle for example. He is a vice president at a big pharma company. In the beginning he used to travel 200 days a year. So he decided to have no stable relationship. Then he moved to the USA, he got married at 32-35 or so after he decided not to travel that much for some years. Then he moved to Switzerland for the same company with the wife and kids. When the kids needed to go to decent schooling, he moved back to Belgium and finally settled down, bought a house (but he was already 40-45 then i think). He worked in Brussels and when the kiddies got a bit older, he used to commute to Paris and back 2-3 times a week. Now the kids are at the university and not at home that much, so he is back in travelling mode. He takes 200 plane flights a year again 
Some of his famous quotes
'Everybody with a wife before the age of 30 is mentally retarded'
'My brother told him he was going to settle down at 23', his reply 'hahahahha, idiot'
'Have children when you are 33, then you can help them build a house and with the children when you are retired at 66'
'Fuck those sluts and douchebags in their suits and their church marriages, i am atheist and i know more about faith and religion'
'I'd rather hire a unqualified adventurer than a settled down 26year old PhD. Nice kids get nice results. Bad kids get badass results'
...
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| Posted: Fri, 22nd Jun 2012 11:32 Post subject: |
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it never is but I can easily see how one can not want to settle down with a family, wife etc if he was never in real love.
I am with my gf for 4 years and I would totally want to settle down but before I knew her I was - WHAT?! nevr fucking way
3080 | ps5 pro
Sin317-"im 31 years old and still surprised at how much shit comes out of my ass actually ..."
SteamDRM-"Call of Duty is the symbol of the true perfection in every aspect. Call of Duty games are like Mozart's/Beethoven's symphonies"
deadpoetic-"are you new to the cyberspace?"
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| Posted: Fri, 22nd Jun 2012 11:40 Post subject: |
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| spankie wrote: | | KillerCrocker wrote: | | I say that You prolly need true LOVE. |
Yeah, that's the Notebook version of relationships. It doesn't always work that way. Sometimes you have to use your brains as well. You can be madly in love at age 18 or 20. But having 2-3 babies is probably not such a good idea.
My uncle for example. He is a vice president at a big pharma company. In the beginning he used to travel 200 days a year. So he decided to have no stable relationship. Then he moved to the USA, he got married at 32-35 or so after he decided not to travel that much for some years. Then he moved to Switzerland for the same company with the wife and kids. When the kids needed to go to decent schooling, he moved back to Belgium and finally settled down, bought a house (but he was already 40-45 then i think). He worked in Brussels and when the kiddies got a bit older, he used to commute to Paris and back 2-3 times a week. Now the kids are at the university and not at home that much, so he is back in travelling mode. He takes 200 plane flights a year again
Some of his famous quotes
'Everybody with a wife before the age of 30 is mentally retarded'
'My brother told him he was going to settle down at 23', his reply 'hahahahha, idiot'
'Have children when you are 33, then you can help them build a house and with the children when you are retired at 66'
'Fuck those sluts and douchebags in their suits and their church marriages, i am atheist and i know more about faith and religion'
'I'd rather hire a unqualified adventurer than a settled down 26year old PhD. Nice kids get nice results. Bad kids get badass results'
... |
Your uncle is awesome 
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spankie
VIP Member
Posts: 2958
Location: Belgium
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| Posted: Fri, 22nd Jun 2012 11:41 Post subject: |
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It has nothing to do with love, it's about being scared to do something crazy.
You can travel the world with your love as well. You can find a job in Belize and run a diving school. You can go to the USA and find a job in some fancy company and your wife/gf as well.
All those youngsters building houses at such early ages. It's like saying, ok, that's it. I am staying here forever. I passed the finish line in life, that's it. Now, let's get boring.
Yeah, i am really frustrated, 2 younger friends of mine got married this weekend and some others are building some big ass houses. And they are all flooding facebook with pictures. And I am constantly facepalming myself and questioning, 'why are people congratulating them on building a 4 bedroom house when they are 23?'. Am I the only one who thinks it is retarded to have a 40yr mortgage that is consuming 65% of their combined income? What's to congratulate on that? It's just wanting to be bigger, better, richer whatever. But for what? They are paying 40k on registration right taxes and 80k value added taxes on their building. If they ever decide to move, they throw 120k through the drains. Yeah, well done with the settling down.
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spankie
VIP Member
Posts: 2958
Location: Belgium
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| Posted: Fri, 22nd Jun 2012 11:45 Post subject: |
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| DarkPassenger wrote: | | spankie wrote: | | KillerCrocker wrote: | | I say that You prolly need true LOVE. |
Yeah, that's the Notebook version of relationships. It doesn't always work that way. Sometimes you have to use your brains as well. You can be madly in love at age 18 or 20. But having 2-3 babies is probably not such a good idea.
My uncle for example. He is a vice president at a big pharma company. In the beginning he used to travel 200 days a year. So he decided to have no stable relationship. Then he moved to the USA, he got married at 32-35 or so after he decided not to travel that much for some years. Then he moved to Switzerland for the same company with the wife and kids. When the kids needed to go to decent schooling, he moved back to Belgium and finally settled down, bought a house (but he was already 40-45 then i think). He worked in Brussels and when the kiddies got a bit older, he used to commute to Paris and back 2-3 times a week. Now the kids are at the university and not at home that much, so he is back in travelling mode. He takes 200 plane flights a year again
Some of his famous quotes
'Everybody with a wife before the age of 30 is mentally retarded'
'My brother told him he was going to settle down at 23', his reply 'hahahahha, idiot'
'Have children when you are 33, then you can help them build a house and with the children when you are retired at 66'
'Fuck those sluts and douchebags in their suits and their church marriages, i am atheist and i know more about faith and religion'
'I'd rather hire a unqualified adventurer than a settled down 26year old PhD. Nice kids get nice results. Bad kids get badass results'
... |
Your uncle is awesome |
Well yeah, in case of doubt about life or 'am i on the right track career wise' or 'what about my future', visit the uncle. He started as a civil engineer in uni, but dropped out after 2 years because 'not interested anymore'. Then he started acting school But the school went bankrupt before he graduated . Then he graduated as a filosophist, took some IT evening classes and ended up in a pharma company which turned out to be rather successful eventually.
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| Posted: Fri, 22nd Jun 2012 11:58 Post subject: |
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| KillerCrocker wrote: | it never is but I can easily see how one can not want to settle down with a family, wife etc if he was never in real love.
I am with my gf for 4 years and I would totally want to settle down but before I knew her I was - WHAT?! nevr fucking way |
Keep heading that way, son. The more you rush into it, the harder it'll hit you.
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| Posted: Fri, 22nd Jun 2012 12:50 Post subject: |
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| FireMaster wrote: | | KillerCrocker wrote: | it never is but I can easily see how one can not want to settle down with a family, wife etc if he was never in real love.
I am with my gf for 4 years and I would totally want to settle down but before I knew her I was - WHAT?! nevr fucking way |
Keep heading that way, son. The more you rush into it, the harder it'll hit you. |
I am not rushing anyehre. We are a couple for 4 years already and I still think we should wait so no problem
3080 | ps5 pro
Sin317-"im 31 years old and still surprised at how much shit comes out of my ass actually ..."
SteamDRM-"Call of Duty is the symbol of the true perfection in every aspect. Call of Duty games are like Mozart's/Beethoven's symphonies"
deadpoetic-"are you new to the cyberspace?"
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| Posted: Fri, 22nd Jun 2012 13:02 Post subject: |
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| spankie wrote: | It has nothing to do with love, it's about being scared to do something crazy.
You can travel the world with your love as well. You can find a job in Belize and run a diving school. You can go to the USA and find a job in some fancy company and your wife/gf as well.
All those youngsters building houses at such early ages. It's like saying, ok, that's it. I am staying here forever. I passed the finish line in life, that's it. Now, let's get boring.
Yeah, i am really frustrated, 2 younger friends of mine got married this weekend and some others are building some big ass houses. And they are all flooding facebook with pictures. And I am constantly facepalming myself and questioning, 'why are people congratulating them on building a 4 bedroom house when they are 23?'. Am I the only one who thinks it is retarded to have a 40yr mortgage that is consuming 65% of their combined income? What's to congratulate on that? It's just wanting to be bigger, better, richer whatever. But for what? They are paying 40k on registration right taxes and 80k value added taxes on their building. If they ever decide to move, they throw 120k through the drains. Yeah, well done with the settling down. |
I totally feel you, man. I know lots of people who settled down quite early, some because they got pregnant I was in a very serious relationship myself and thinking back on it, I was heading in the "time to get boring" direction... feel so lucky I got out of it before it was too late.
Strange thing is none of my high-school classmates have gotten married yet.
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| Posted: Fri, 22nd Jun 2012 14:51 Post subject: |
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You'll know it's time when it's time. Sounds corny, but true nonetheless.
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ClaudeFTW
Posts: 5074
Location: Bucharest, Romania
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| Posted: Fri, 22nd Jun 2012 15:14 Post subject: |
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You are perfectly fine.
R7 2700x @4GHz / MSI B450 Tomahawk / beQuiet! Dark Rock 4 / 32GB @3000 MHz / MSI RTX 2060 Gaming Z / Samsung 850 EVO 250GB / Western Digital 1TB / Fractal Design Meshify C Dark / SuperFlower Leadex Gold 650W / DELL whatever 27 inch IPS
I usually stream stuff: http://www.twitch.tv/claudeftw
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