I'm just experiencing something weird lately. I don't care anymore. seriously, I don't care about family & friends and not even my own life.
I'm driving like a crazy person when there is no traffic (only if I'm alone in the car), hoping that I'll crash into the next wall or tree and die. So much shit happened in the past years.
And if you want to know what troubles me.. I don't know where to begin. With the lawsuit? stress at my work? (fucking hate my boss); failing my exam? ( I'm going to fail on the 2nd July...I know it...that's my birthday btw...hello club 27 ); getting betrayed by friends? can't stop thinking about a girl? (I know, I shouldn't, but I'm just a human after all - daft punk quote); that no one is around when you need them? and maybe having early stage of lymphoma just like my father (My doc sent me to the oncologist but I'm scared to go to) ...meh, pick a story.
I think I gave up on living. Time to get some professionel help. Even my mother told me to get help. Guys, I'm desperate :/
thx, just wanted blow off some steam...
Last edited by Kurosaki on Sun, 30th Jun 2013 02:48; edited 2 times in total
First off, your mother is right, get some professional help ASAP.
Now for the less important stuff:
dafuq, kuro?
What lawsuit?
And are things there as bad as they are here in which you can't try and get another job?
Also, I didn't mention it back then but are you sure spending all that money in a car is a good idea? Assuming that you haven't already bought it, that is.
Also seems like you need to pick your friends more carefully but I really don't have any advice there since I'm too much of a lone wolf.
boundle (thoughts on cracking AITD) wrote:
i guess thouth if without a legit key the installation was rolling back we are all fucking then
forget the merc, my mother canceled my order and I've had to pay a 200 € fine for canceling. She did it without telling me. Remember that N64 kid? I was just like him, really happy to get my car until I got the canceling confirmation via mail - that was another letdown, but fuck it, it's just a car. Well, she had a good reason to do it, it's not a good time to get a car now, between all the shit that is happening right now. I can wait another year, or two.
lawsuit:
remember that my tenant died? his dumb ex wife is suing us now, because she wants the deposit back, but she can't have it, in fact she even has to pay us something (she inherited all his stuff). That guy burnt way too much oil and also had to pay for other stuff. Oh and of course we had to take the rent for 2 months from the deposit, because his family still had the flat after he died...long story.
so much fucking stress, I can't handle it alone.
I could always get a job, but the pay wouldn't be that great. I just can't fail my exam on the 2nd July or else I'm buttfucked.
I don't know what to say, so... best of luck Kuro, I hope you pull through and I would definitely recommend taking your mother's advice. You need someone to unload on so at least you're not dealing with this alone.
I knew of the tenant story... didn't knew about the lawsuit
I'd say that first of all you should get some sleep tonight.
And if you really feel stressed out to the point of thinking about suicide... maybe you should take a step back and forget about one puny exam and really consider if you should get another job if you can't improve things on your current one, even if the new job pays less.
About the lawsuit well... it's really out of your control if you think about it, right?
I mean, regarding the job and the exam you CAN decide the outcome.
With a lawsuit, not so much.
Aren't you a student-worker anyway?
Thought that that granted you a few more chances of repeating an exam instead of the traditional 2nd turn.
At least that's how it worked in here.
boundle (thoughts on cracking AITD) wrote:
i guess thouth if without a legit key the installation was rolling back we are all fucking then
I'm sorry Kuro, you had so much bad luck in the last couple of years, but you need to resist mate. It will get better. Don't forget that there are people in this world that love you, that care about you and what you do, you're not alone!
Listen to your mother, she know what's good for you . Professional help can be a first important step, but it is also necessary that you take a break from exams and work, at least for a while. Health is your #1 priority, fuck the boss! Besides, you can find a better job whenever you want, since you're awesome..so no worries. :3
Having to deal with ungrateful and liar "friends" sadly is almost the normality these days especially for people who have a kind heart like you do (*I know that feel bro*)..and the best advice in these cases is, cut all the bridges with those false friends, move on and try to frequent other circles, since they clearly don't deserve you. You'll find better people in no time, I can guarantee you that
Then there's the health issue that you mentioned, which is of extreme importance that you get it checked as soon as possible. I know that it's hard to not think about the future, but you need to stay calm, and dissolve the alone of negativity...it could be a false alarm. We don't know it yet, could very well be the huge amount of stress, which it's totally understandable.
Again, stay close to your family, and then you can start facing and fixing all the problems singularly one by one, step by step, without thinking at them as a dark cloud of nope. You can do it! go Kuro, best of luck mate.
Welcome aboard Kuro. In recent days ive wondered many things about life and its meaning, long story... But in the end, what do we gain from giving up, nothing, life just ends and thats it, everything keeps on going. As much as i have on me, as much as i wished to let it all go i cant get myself to it. I still think that even amongst all that stuff i can still enjoy some things while dealing with all the fucking shit that i seem to never solve.... arriving at 25 and im still in the university since 2006... thats... 7 fucking years, i just counted them in the shower and i felt so bad... but fuck it, i gave up, im still enjoying racing cars and playing games so ill deal with the shit and enjoy what i can, even in all this fucking shit, we can still manage to enjoy life.
luckily my dearest friend had some spare time today. Told everything and yea, she also told me to quit the job and yea...more or less the same you guys did.
I need to quit my job. But it's not easy, because I'm a good person ( :/ ). My Boss fired 3 people last week and all the work is killing me and my colleagues right now. I don't want to be an asshole and just quit today. I'm thinking about waiting 1-2 weeks and see if he's hiring new people, and quit after that.
dunno... I'll go to work today and if he starts screaming and shouting again, I'll tell him to fuck off and go. God, I don't know... I should really quit and focus on studying and my health. damn... I'm so weak.
I'll visit my doc on monday and tell him that I need help for my mental issues and I'll get the transfer paper for the oncologist. I hope that I don't have to wait too long for the results from the oncologist (does anyone know how long it takes? :/). If I'm fine I'll go on my vecation on the 16th July, but if I'm sick I won't go and start my treatment.
luckily my dearest friend had some spare time today. Told everything and yea, she also told me to quit the job and yea...more or less the same you guys did.
I need to quit my job. But it's not easy, because I'm a good person ( :/ ). My Boss fired 3 people last week and all the work is killing me and my colleagues right now. I don't want to be an asshole and just quit today. I'm thinking about waiting 1-2 weeks and see if he's hiring new people, and quit after that.
dunno... I'll go to work today and if he starts screaming and shouting again, I'll tell him to fuck off and go. God, I don't know... I should really quit and focus on studying and my health. damn... I'm so weak.
I'll visit my doc on monday and tell him that I need help for my mental issues and I'll get the transfer paper for the oncologist. I hope that I don't have to wait too long for the results from the oncologist (does anyone know how long it takes? :/). If I'm fine I'll go on my vecation on the 16th July, but if I'm sick I won't go and start my treatment.
youre thinking about ti the wrong way, its not you who s the asshole, its your boss. firing 3 people in a single week and then expecting to save up some expenses by making the rest of you pick up the slack and work more is a shitty thing to do.
drop that fucking job and concentrate more on your life, all the advice i can give over the internet, but since your friend said the same thing, i cant be that far off now.
you sound like someone who is genuinely nice and gives way to others, but dont fool yourself, only because someone (in this case maybe your boss) comes across as especially stressed and helpless, it doesnt mean they are.
people in leading positions are keen of the art of manipulation, all that it could mean to him would be saving up for a luxurious fucking car, dont be naive.
sometimes in life (very often actually) being a nice and thoughtful person will hurt you and worsen your situation, its very sad but it is what it is.
be an "asshole" and think about yourself and your life first for the time being.
luckily my dearest friend had some spare time today. Told everything and yea, she also told me to quit the job and yea...more or less the same you guys did.
I need to quit my job. But it's not easy, because I'm a good person ( :/ ). My Boss fired 3 people last week and all the work is killing me and my colleagues right now. I don't want to be an asshole and just quit today. I'm thinking about waiting 1-2 weeks and see if he's hiring new people, and quit after that.
dunno... I'll go to work today and if he starts screaming and shouting again, I'll tell him to fuck off and go. God, I don't know... I should really quit and focus on studying and my health. damn... I'm so weak.
I'll visit my doc on monday and tell him that I need help for my mental issues and I'll get the transfer paper for the oncologist. I hope that I don't have to wait too long for the results from the oncologist (does anyone know how long it takes? :/). If I'm fine I'll go on my vecation on the 16th July, but if I'm sick I won't go and start my treatment.
youre thinking about ti the wrong way, its not you who s the asshole, its your boss. firing 3 people in a single week and then expecting to save up some expenses by making the rest of you pick up the slack and work more is a shitty thing to do.
drop that fucking job and concentrate more on your life, all the advice i can give over the internet, but since your friend said the same thing, i cant be that far off now.
you sound like someone who is genuinely nice and gives way to others, but dont fool yourself, only because someone (in this case maybe your boss) comes across as especially stressed and helpless, it doesnt mean they are.
people in leading positions are keen of the art of manipulation, all that it could mean to him would be saving up for a luxurious fucking car, dont be naive.
sometimes in life (very often actually) being a nice and thoughtful person will hurt you and worsen your situation, its very sad but it is what it is.
be an "asshole" and think about yourself and your life first for the time being.
Nope he is thinking the right way, actually.
He's probably thinking about the colleagues at work (that he probably likes and respects, I'm guessing) who don't have any blame with the asshole boss situation and that might be a bit fucked over with kuro's sudden departure.
If so, warn them tomorrow so at least they will know why you have quit your job all of a sudden.
BUT if the screaming starts again just throw those thoughts over the window, tell him to fuck himself and just leave like a boss.
Oh and try to get that slip from that doc which would allow you to take a pass on the 2nd of july exam, I can't stress this enough.
Or do what I did, skip the exam and show up the next day with the slip, that's how it usually works in here.
boundle (thoughts on cracking AITD) wrote:
i guess thouth if without a legit key the installation was rolling back we are all fucking then
Where are you from Kuro ? I can be your friend if you are close Im alone here anyways.. slowly losing my mind , but Im holding up somehow..my fuckin life..
Where are you from Kuro ? I can be your friend if you are close Im alone here anyways.. slowly losing my mind , but Im holding up somehow..my fuckin life..
Got my work visa in tuesday , in wednesday I was already here..that was so fast , my life turned upside down. I have to used to it and all that with shitty german lang skills.. I feel so retarded..
Got my work visa in tuesday , in wednesday I was already here..that was so fast , my life turned upside down. I have to used to it and all that with shitty german lang skills.. I feel so retarded..
At Roskilde festival there are quite a few Germans. Last year I tried to see for how long some germans thought I could speak german ...about 30sec Pretty drunk of course
I also noticed that I can't speak english properly .. I can understand everything but I have problem speaking it.. I wanted all this so I have to deal with it..
toni: I went to the pub where some of co-workers are after work and told them my situation. even they said it's alright and that my boss will close his store anyway end of july (rumor), that's why he fired 3 people and doesn't care anymore. I would be the first mate to jump off from the sinking ship then.
pumpy: well, this is my part-time job that I'm talking about and he is the boss, it'S really not worth the stress anymore.
blam: hah , I live about 15 km away from Stuttgart.
I also noticed that I can't speak english properly .. I can understand everything but I have problem speaking it.. I wanted all this so I have to deal with it..
That will come with more practice. The fact is you have 2 (or maybe more) languages and that opens up so many doors.
I also noticed that I can't speak english properly .. I can understand everything but I have problem speaking it.. I wanted all this so I have to deal with it..
alright, went to the checkup. I don't have lymphoma....yet. And my doc gave me transfer papers, so I can see a psychologist to relieve some of my stress.
But I still have to do my exam tomorrow. Alright, turning off my cellphone now, so I can't be distracted while studying.
alright, went to the checkup. I don't have lymphoma....yet. And my doc gave me transfer papers, so I can see a psychologist to relieve some of my stress.
But I still have to do my exam tomorrow. Alright, turning off my cellphone now, so I can't be distracted while studying.
alright, went to the checkup. I don't have lymphoma....yet. And my doc gave me transfer papers, so I can see a psychologist to relieve some of my stress.
But I still have to do my exam tomorrow. Alright, turning off my cellphone now, so I can't be distracted while studying.
Great news man, and good luck
+1
That's a fantastic news indeed, the best one actually. ;P Only the stress is left, and that can be fixed easily with some good help Best of luck for the exam of course, may the buena suerte be with you^^
alright, went to the checkup. I don't have lymphoma....yet. And my doc gave me transfer papers, so I can see a psychologist to relieve some of my stress.
But I still have to do my exam tomorrow. Alright, turning off my cellphone now, so I can't be distracted while studying.
Good news , and what happened with the exam..all good ?
pistolshrimp wrote:
BLaM! wrote:
I also noticed that I can't speak english properly .. I can understand everything but I have problem speaking it.. I wanted all this so I have to deal with it..
That will come with more practice. The fact is you have 2 (or maybe more) languages and that opens up so many doors.
I sure hope so..
deelix wrote:
BLaM! wrote:
I also noticed that I can't speak english properly .. I can understand everything but I have problem speaking it.. I wanted all this so I have to deal with it..
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. Professional help can be a first important step, but it is also necessary that you take a break from exams and work, at least for a while. Health is your #1 priority, fuck the boss! Besides, you can find a better job whenever you want, since you're awesome..so no worries. :3
I wanted all this so I have to deal with it.. 
