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DXWarlock
VIP Member
Posts: 11541
Location: Florida, USA
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 Posted: Wed, 6th Aug 2014 13:27 Post subject: When life is bad, dont assume it cant get worse. |
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Well, last night was eventful...
probably not the best place to vent this..but oh well.
My 17yo son had to try to wrestle a shotgun with the help of some guy he didnt even know, from my father that was trying to shoot himself.
He just lost his job of 25 years and the retirement plan he had there, divorce from my mother a few years back, and his medical condition of diabetes, high blood pressure, and 30 medications a day finally tipped over the edge for him.
Luckily he bought the gun that day from a pawnshop whose friends with him, and the guy noticed my father wasn't himself..and left his bank card and wallet forgetfully when he left.
He tried to call my father, and no answer on any of his phones, so he called us and my son went to goto his house.
My son got there a few minutes before my dad and waited. My dad shows up, walks past him and locks the front door telling my son "go home, please Im fine just go home, I love you".
My son could see him thru the window loading the shotgun and sitting down. he couldn't kick the door open, but the pawn guy JUST happen to show up in time, while he was kicking it, didn't ask questions and kicked it open. they wrestled him out of the chair until he got it from him.
The police that showed up would NOT take his gun..said it was within his right to own it until officially shown not to be fit to own one..And said I technically could be charged with a crime if I take it without his permission.
So its a catch22, I cant go take it, and no one else can seize it from him until hes released and back home..where he can be alone with his gun for at least a little bit..our current US gun laws are retarded in this aspect..but thats a whole different discussion.
Now they drug him off to some state 'mental health' place for evaluation. a shithole of a place I've heard nothing but bad things about.
I've called them about 30 times, they give me that crap of "we can't confirm or deny who is staying here. and you cannot come see him until we release him". How is that helpful?? someone that thinks they have nothing to live for being locked in a place that no one knows if they are there officially, and no family can come talk to them?
As if life wasn't complicated enough: job worries, marriage of 20 years on the rocks, money problems..now my father tries to off himself and my 17yo now knows what its like to wrestle a gun from someone, add to that it was his own grandfather. 
No idea when they are going to release him, or what we will do for/with him then.
-We don't control what happens to us in life, but we control how we respond to what happens in life.
-Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times. -G. Michael Hopf
Disclaimer: Post made by me are of my own creation. A delusional mind relayed in text form.
Last edited by DXWarlock on Wed, 6th Aug 2014 14:54; edited 2 times in total
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| Posted: Wed, 6th Aug 2014 13:42 Post subject: |
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Morphineus
VIP Member
Posts: 24883
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Wed, 6th Aug 2014 13:43 Post subject: |
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| DXWarlock wrote: | | The police that showed up would NOT take his gun..said it was within his right to own it until officially shown not to be fit to own one. |
Wth is wrong with them, seems like standards for someone being not fit to own one is way too low... Any moron should be able to assess the situation correctly...
Urgh...
Sorry to hear Dx, hope things turn around fast. I hate those times when everything goes against you, but it's just yet another phase to get through. Stay strong! |
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DXWarlock
VIP Member
Posts: 11541
Location: Florida, USA
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Werelds
Special Little Man
Posts: 15098
Location: 0100111001001100
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| Posted: Wed, 6th Aug 2014 14:16 Post subject: |
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Jesus mate, that's a great time you're having. All the best!
And yes, US law is ridiculous when it comes to guns. Already starts with "gun bought from pawnshop".
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tonizito
VIP Member
Posts: 51463
Location: Portugal, the shithole of Europe.
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| Posted: Wed, 6th Aug 2014 14:51 Post subject: |
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And here I was thinking that I had a shitty day...
Good luck DX, I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through.
| boundle (thoughts on cracking AITD) wrote: | | i guess thouth if without a legit key the installation was rolling back we are all fucking then |
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couleur
[Moderator] Janitor
Posts: 14390
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| Posted: Wed, 6th Aug 2014 15:37 Post subject: |
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Courage, DX!
I simply cannot comprehend neither the police nor the mental health place. That sounds all so wrong to me...
It sounds like your father has a depression, so maybe he really needs a therapy. I dont understand why they dont let family help though, how retarded is that?
I'm sure your son will grow up a bit on his experience.
"Enlightenment is man's emergence from his self-imposed nonage. Nonage is the inability to use one's own understanding without another's guidance. This nonage is self-imposed if its cause lies not in lack of understanding but in indecision and lack of courage to use one's own mind without another's guidance. Dare to know! (Sapere aude.) "Have the courage to use your own understanding," is therefore the motto of the enlightenment."
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tw1st
Posts: 6112
Location: New Jersey
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| Posted: Wed, 6th Aug 2014 16:15 Post subject: |
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Jeez, really sorry to hear all that DX, I really do hope that it all works out, and hopefully the whole experience makes you guys all just appreciate life a little bit more.
*hug*
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Nalo
nothing
Posts: 13525
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| Posted: Wed, 6th Aug 2014 16:30 Post subject: |
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Last edited by Nalo on Wed, 3rd Jul 2024 06:19; edited 2 times in total
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| Posted: Wed, 6th Aug 2014 16:43 Post subject: |
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I wish you all the best luck mate - I've been in a few situations myself involving my parents. Both of them tried to commit suicide at least once (pills, car, etc.) and I was in my early teens when I had to stop them so I know how traumatizing it can get.
It's sad to see so many bad stories coming from the US though. I have a lot of American friends and there's far too many stories involving them losing their job and then everything going to shit. You can't underestimate the value of knowing that, whatever happens, you'll always have society having your back - and also how bad the hopelessness is when you live in a country that doesn't have your back when things go wrong.
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| Posted: Wed, 6th Aug 2014 16:43 Post subject: |
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-deleted because I didn't intend to offend anyone-
Depression is a bitch.
I just hope his dad manages to see the good things in his life and tries to focus on those.
He'll surely needs your support/help. And you guys need to try to talk him out of some "false pride" mode, which is very common too... and hard to deal with.
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Last edited by m3th0d2008 on Wed, 6th Aug 2014 17:18; edited 1 time in total
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| Posted: Wed, 6th Aug 2014 16:48 Post subject: |
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| m3th0d2008 wrote: | Therapy doesn't do shit if the subject isn't gifted with the very common trait of "bullshitting yourself". Not everyone is capable of that.
Depression is a bitch.
I just hope his dad manages to see the good things in his life and tries to focus on those. |
I was depressed for several years and I can tell you right now: depressed people are often the most realistic of all. Basically, getting out of a depression involves the ability of switching off buttons in your head and forcing you to ignore the shit side of your life. When I was depressed, I saw everything as it really is and was unable to look away - and boy did I wish I could shut my eyes and only see the good stuff. 10 years later and I have learned to shift focus, making the good things have more value than the bad things so I can draw strength out of them.
I also realize I've been incredibly lucky the past few years - my life has turned around: I got a much better job, it pays much better, I get way more appreciation, my self confidence has skyrocketed, etc. and it's all connected to my single job. So you can imagine how hard it is, when depressed, to see a future where you're so lucky.
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Nalo
nothing
Posts: 13525
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| Posted: Wed, 6th Aug 2014 16:52 Post subject: |
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Last edited by Nalo on Wed, 3rd Jul 2024 06:19; edited 2 times in total
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| Posted: Wed, 6th Aug 2014 16:55 Post subject: |
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| red_avatar wrote: | | m3th0d2008 wrote: | -deleted because I didn't intent to offend anyone-
Depression is a bitch.
I just hope his dad manages to see the good things in his life and tries to focus on those. |
I was depressed for several years and I can tell you right now: depressed people are often the most realistic of all. Basically, getting out of a depression involves the ability of switching off buttons in your head and forcing you to ignore the shit side of your life. When I was depressed, I saw everything as it really is and was unable to look away - and boy did I wish I could shut my eyes and only see the good stuff. 10 years later and I have learned to shift focus, making the good things have more value than the bad things so I can draw strength out of them.
I also realize I've been incredibly lucky the past few years - my life has turned around: I got a much better job, it pays much better, I get way more appreciation, my self confidence has skyrocketed, etc. and it's all connected to my single job. So you can imagine how hard it is, when depressed, to see a future where you're so lucky. |
Yup. But like I said, not everyone is capable if "ignoring" the bad things. I for example just can't. Everytime I tried, it made it even worse.
I have to deal with these things like on a weighing scale to go on. Literally.
Sadly, shit can stack very high and it's extremely difficult to keep the balance.
| Nalo wrote: | @m3th0d2008 I guess you don't have a clue - at all- about therapy, the different types, the complexity, the methodology, nothing... What an ignorant statement
It has nothing to do with bullshitting yourself |
Actually, your statement is the only ignorant one here because what I describe is exactly why the therapies I did, didn't work for me. And I'm pretty sure I'm not a special snowflake with this exclusive problem and thoughts. So I was just talking from my own experience.
Therapies are a combined effort. And they won't do much if you're not ready/able to play ball. Dunno what's ignorant about stating this.
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Last edited by m3th0d2008 on Wed, 6th Aug 2014 17:17; edited 1 time in total
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Nalo
nothing
Posts: 13525
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| Posted: Wed, 6th Aug 2014 17:05 Post subject: |
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Last edited by Nalo on Wed, 3rd Jul 2024 06:19; edited 2 times in total
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| Posted: Wed, 6th Aug 2014 17:16 Post subject: |
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| Nalo wrote: |  Spoiler: | method. Well just because it didn't work for you doesn't mean you should dismiss it entirely. There are plenty of unintellgent practicing therapists. It does amaze me how easy it is to get into the practice. I expect you saw one of these charlatans. Real therapy is about confronting reality, asking difficult questions, probing - which is directly opposed to bullshitting yourself. |
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| Spoiler: | These charlatans must be omnipresent then, they all ended up with the prescription of the finest zombie-mode drugs because they weren't able to work it out with me and neither was I. And I'm sure as hell not taking that shit.
Besides, I didn't intent to generalize or dismiss anything. I just wanted to express my hope that it's not the case for his father as it is for me. That he'll be able to work it out.
To me it's bullshitting yourself. Can't help it. It's just how I see it. Maybe I shouldn't have replied to it at all. I can see why some, especially when affected themsevles, find it highly offensive and could even be damaging for their own ongoing road to salvation. I'm just gonna edit it out. |
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fisk
Posts: 9145
Location: Von Oben
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| Posted: Wed, 6th Aug 2014 17:40 Post subject: |
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First of all, your son needs to be praised for saving a life.
Second of all, a man set on a goal to kill himself only has his goal postponed by this.
Thirdly, nothing is more important than relations/love between close ones, this is worth struggling for.
Yes, yes I'm back.
Somewhat.
Last edited by fisk on Wed, 6th Aug 2014 17:58; edited 1 time in total
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| Posted: Wed, 6th Aug 2014 17:42 Post subject: |
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that sucks...
Hesher is a great movie with a powerful message I completely agree with.
You'll feel like shit, there's no other way. What you can do is take the most from what you've left.
and this:
| fisk wrote: | | Thirdly, nothing is more important than relations/love between closed ones, this is worth struggling for. |
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| Posted: Wed, 6th Aug 2014 20:38 Post subject: |
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Its not about how far you fall, its about how you get up that counts.
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LeoNatan
☢ NFOHump Despot ☢
Posts: 73277
Location: Ramat HaSharon, Israel 🇮🇱
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| Posted: Wed, 6th Aug 2014 20:44 Post subject: |
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Oh man, so sorry to hear about all that. This is sad and terrible. I cannot just say "It will get better, stay strong", because I realize it's naive, but we have to hope and look for a better future, that things turn for the better, so do stay strong. You need to be the pillar of both your sun, who is traumatized, and your father, who will need a lot of support.
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| Posted: Wed, 6th Aug 2014 21:35 Post subject: Re: When life is bad, dont assume it cant get worse. |
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I feel for you mate, perhaps your son could hang out with grandpa and share a bit of his youth and vitality. Putting him in a mental ward is not going to help probably. I wish you the best with this horrible situation.
| DXWarlock wrote: | | He just lost his job of 25 years and the retirement plan he had there |
How the fuck does this happen? Is it too much communism to actually allow for pension coverage for an entire job branch?
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deelix
PDIP Member
Posts: 32062
Location: Norway
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ixigia
[Moderator] Consigliere
Posts: 65103
Location: Italy
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| Posted: Thu, 7th Aug 2014 05:42 Post subject: |
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So sorry to hear this DXWarlock mate, it's a complex situation indeed. :< Stay strong, I wish you and the family all the best.
My grandfather tried suicide too some months ago after he knew about the illness, but thankfully we all managed to reassure and comfort him, which made him feel much better till the end. Like the guys have said, I really hope that your father's experience with that so-called mental health place is the shortest possible
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| Posted: Thu, 7th Aug 2014 20:18 Post subject: |
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That is.. the most eventful evening I ever read on the hump
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