today I was talking to a friend of mine (female) what it takes to be a man.
she thinks that a strong body (arms/shoulders) and achievements mostly in caareer qualify one as a man.
that's actually it.. a+b = man. if there's a and/or b missing = no man.
I don't agree with the stuff about ones physical appearance - that's mascluline but it actually doesn't say a lot about one persons character.
the achievements thing is stupid when it's being reduced to jobs but I definitely agree that there's a fair chance that a successful person has an overall strong personality.
I think that being a man is about strength (mental), confidence, self-awareness, opinion, the ability to lead stuff/ppl and overall constant need to aim for something you want.
I don't think physical appearance has much to do with being a man (aside from looking masculine and not like a chick like some of the fruitballs in the media do).
That part in Fight Club when Brad Pitt and Ed Norton get on the bus and talk about the Calvin Kline (sp?) model....that sums it up.
The media has somehow become God....it determines what men and women "should" look like. It gives both sexes unrealistic views of the other and perpetuates and drums up new stereotypes.
And as for a job/career....I don't think that has anything to do with being a "man".
A job is a job. Its not meant to be your life. You work so you can have a life you know? Whether someone is a Janitor or a millionare tycoon...doesn't make a difference imo. Same applies to a woman. I could careless what a woman does as long as she's independent (doesn't need to rely on me...like my ex) and can stand on her own. I don't mind taking care of my girl but it shouldn't be expected like a lot of young, good looking women expect...just cause they are hot means they get their way and shit? Sadly, a lot of men fall into that trap. Cause lets face it, EVERY MAN at one time or another thinks with his cock. From the age of 12-death I'd say lol.
I'd say the characteristics you mentioned EZ and a few others determine if your a "man".
Your friend sounds pretty shallow if she thinks of only physical appearance and career/money...sorry to say dude.
She can be smart and shallow. There are many types of smart you know? Someone who has books smarts may not have say streets smarts or vice versa.
But its also a factor of our culture dude. And it depends on the age of the woman (in some cases anyway), how they grew up, influences etc.
The young broads out there nowadays are fuckin so shallow....all they see are these rappers/rockers/actors on tv and want some guy who buy them tons of jewellery and clothes and shit.
Desperate Housewives and Hills kinda mentality....its sickening.
Of course thats a generalization but still. It applies to most girls from the age of puberty to 25ish I'd say.
A job is a job. Its not meant to be your life. You work so you can have a life you know? Whether someone is a Janitor or a millionare tycoon...doesn't make a difference imo.
i disagree, syco. for most people, a job consumes about a third of their entire lifetime - so it shouldn't be considered just as something that enables you to live your life and pay your bills. it should be something you like to do, something that makes you happy, you know? and if someone is stuck in a shitty job he hates, well then he should step the fuck up and do everything necessary to find something where he doesn't hate every second doing it.
and to throw something into the whole "what makes you a real man" discussion:
of course muscles make you look like a one and alpha dog status, honesty, confidence, integrity etc pp make you behave like one. a stereotype, that is.
i say, the most important attribute is to just don't give a fuck. in the end, the only thing that really makes you a man is a tiny little y chromosome and its consequence we all know as a penis . and the only thing that detracts from it is wondering, maybe even fearing what others think about what makes you one and what doesn't.
what makes a man a man in the view of a woman : having a giant golden dick that ejaculates diamonds and a silver made car that throws money bills into the air instead of smoke
until then you're just make do
I spend a large part of my waking hours doing/thinking/obsessing about my job.
I'm also fairly pudgy now about 180lbs and 5'10" :/
Lots of people do man. My brother does. Guy can't fucking relax. Even on weekend's/holidays/christmas holiday's.
Guy is always talking or thinking or do something involving work...
I don't know how y'all do it. When I'm done for the day, I leave anything and everything that happened at work. I don't bring it home and take it out on my girl (if I had a bad day) or bore the shit outta her going on about how some engineer got some blue print spec wrong or something u know?
I used to tho. But fuck, I was gettin so stressed, could never relax....it was hard at first, but now...when the day is done, I don't think about work till I get there the next day man.
U should try it dude. Ur gettin married right? Or are married? It will put a strain on your relationship either which way if all you do is obsess over work man.
Just speaking from personal experience and second hand experience (my dad is the same way as my brother).
The sad part is, a lot of people who bring work home (like actual work, not just the stress and planning tomorrow) don't get paid. So they work say 8 hours and spend another 4 doing free work basically.
Again, my brother is a perfect example of this.
Even if you are getting paid OT, its not worth it to do it all the fuckin time. To much.
You work so you can live. You don't live so you can work u know?
I don't know how y'all do it. When I'm done for the day, I leave anything and everything that happened at work. I don't bring it home and take it out on my girl (if I had a bad day) or bore the shit outta her going on about how some engineer got some blue print spec wrong or something u know?
And THEN comes the part where your girls starts bitching because you don't talk about your day.
I know they don't all do that but some do
I don't know how y'all do it. When I'm done for the day, I leave anything and everything that happened at work. I don't bring it home and take it out on my girl (if I had a bad day) or bore the shit outta her going on about how some engineer got some blue print spec wrong or something u know?
And THEN comes the part where your girls starts bitching because you don't talk about your day.
I know they don't all do that but some do
Oh dude, FLASH BACK. lol
My ex was like that. If I didn't come home and talk about my day, she'd bitch. If I did, she'd bitch. But then she would spend LITERALLY an hour or more talking about her boring ass fuckin job...well, not even about her job. She works/worked in some office with ALL WOMEN and all they do is gossip about their family, boyfriends/husbands etc
Fuck, one nite me and my ex spent the whole nite fucking right and she got like an hour of sleep and had to go to work. I had the day off. So I said I will drop by and we will go out for lunch (she gets like an hour and a half for lunch...who the fuck needs that long to eat? I take 20 minutes for lunch...enough time to eat whatever and have a few smokes...anymore and I don't feel like working). I walk in and all the women (mostly old women, 50+) and smiling and saying hi and shit. I was like "wtf". I asked my ex and she said she didn't know why they were acting like that. We go to lunch, drop her off and on my way out I saw one of her friend's/my friend and I asked her and she's told me my ex spent like 20 mins describing in detail what we did the night before.....seriously...wtf? 20 mins...even guys don't go into that much detail...
Its "you get laid last nite? - yeah - she suck your dick? - yeah, blew a huge load - cool" you know?
cmon man, she goes for physical appearance and job to determine what makes a man? sounds like a shallow ass bitch to me..
what's wrong in a woman attracted to a successful man? you don't get a good job and career by sitting your ass off all day, not shaving and drinking booze. success is a great thing in a man and it's pretty justified if a woman is attracted more to a successful man rather than a lazy ass mofo (like me ) let's be honest here, you can't say "she's gotta love me for who I am not for my looks or money" if you aren't doing much about it. (not implying that you aren't doing etc)
humans are all the same, they're all looking for power and in case of some women, being with powerful men, and power can be interpreted in many ways by different women, it can either be success, money, self confidence... etc they're attracted to.
but on the other hand, I don't like leeches either, women that just go to powerful men and live off their money, hard work etc without doing a single fucking thing but opening their legs once in a while...
of course success in carrerr is attracting to women. it gives information about someones charactestics but still this person can be a bitch or whatever... bitch!=man no matter what.
it's just that two out of three people with the attributes I mentioned will have success in caareer and probably enjoy their jobs. just not all will aim high right away.
the thing you say about power is very interesting. I didn't think of this as a reason before.
Of course power to a certain degree and in different ways is attractive.
I think most women like to feel/know their man can protect them. Thats a form of power right.
I think that being a man is about strength (mental), confidence, self-awareness, opinion, the ability to lead stuff/ppl and overall constant need to aim for something you want.
what do you think does it take to be a man?
I agree, for me, it's all about confidence, self-awareness and daring to speak your mind even if it's not the popular opinion. Though, for me, this applies to both women and men...
I guess, being a man, for me, means taking responsibility for things and being mature. Hum, I guess that applies to both women and men as well... I don't know really, I don't think anything makes you manly really, except for perhaps muscles, though that only makes you look manly...
I don't know dude, personality wise, I just can't come up with a single thing that defines you as manly, that can't be applied to women just as well.
Phluxed wrote:
You know what I think makes someone a man?
Honesty.
The ability to be honest to yourself about yourself.
The ability to be honest with others.
The greatest man I've ever met was crippled, but he was the most GENUINELY happy person I've ever met.
I agree with with the 2 guys I quoted.
Physical appearance does have alot to do with it but if the guy is an idiot he is not attractive.
As far as jobs go, we work to make money to make our life better but sometimes people get hung up on status.
back to topic , well , guess it depends , not everybody thinks alike , if she considers those traits are more important than others well , good for her .
but other women don't really care about the job as long it's legit and her man is proud , caring a is 'there' for her and their family when they need it .
sure , a nice paying job is good , but personally , i'd rather do things i love than things i must do , i'd rather spend time with my family (if i was married and shit) than busting my nuts on some fucking job , cause that's just work , and work doesnt bring the same satisfaction as true happyness that residens in a companion .
but the more i think about it , the more i guess that THAT girl's idea of a man is shallow , she probably didnt have that kind of man yet and thinks that he'd be good enough for her , and she well have a person like i bet she won't be to happy to see that the fucker will be more invested in his career in some moments.
and as for physical appreance i would say that it matters in some degree , i mean shit , a woman surely feel more safe and protected with a well built or somewhat musclar man than some skeletor or fat guy , it would only normal for this to be true .
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. and the only thing that detracts from it is wondering, maybe even fearing what others think about what makes you one and what doesn't. 
) let's be honest here, you can't say "she's gotta love me for who I am not for my looks or money" if you aren't doing much about it. (not implying that you aren't doing etc)
