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 Posted: Sun, 25th Jul 2010 22:29 Post subject: Stop it damn it... I can't take this nonsense anymore |
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So this old schoolfriend of mine with whom I've been in contact on fb and sms (even went to her house to help her with computer stuff in June) is living in a hostel now (obv. in another state). So in the night and all sometimes we chat on gtalk about random stuff and sometimes help her laptop problems.
The thing is there are connection issues with her hostel wifi over there but they always seem to occur when I have to tell her something. I listen to all her boring stuff about her activities and all but when I have to ask her or tell her something these problems always occur. WTF is this?
No, I don't like her in the girlfriend sense, I just admire her brain but then she always annoys me with this crap and when I say something like "sorry to bother you or disturb you" as in a way to try to cut my communication with her, she's like "sorry" or "ur mood is not alright" or "something's wrong". And then everything goes back to square one....
we also chat over mobile sometimes i.e SMSing sometimes (Short Messaging Service or mobile email in some countries) When she shifted to her hostel I did her call her up and she called me too a twice or thrice about some computer problems. Otherwise I don't think we've talked much except for her call about how her hostel stuff is getting arranged.
Is she using me or does she like me or what is this bs?? I'm not her boyfriend to listen to her whiny stuff or what all she did over the day but wtf is this? Of course as a friend I can hear her out but this is getting out of hand. She should be telling this to her girlfriends not to me!!! My elder sister then says rubbish like "she really loves you" which pisses me off even more. This is really starting to weigh me down and I don't like this at all. Please guys, help me here....
P.S: She is the same girl as this one over here who had invited me to her bday party:
http://www.nfohump.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=45532
1 and 2 are still amazing.
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Nalo
nothing
Posts: 13515
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| Posted: Sun, 25th Jul 2010 22:34 Post subject: |
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Last edited by Nalo on Wed, 3rd Jul 2024 07:04; edited 2 times in total
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| Posted: Sun, 25th Jul 2010 22:47 Post subject: |
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Lutzifer
Modzilla
Posts: 12740
Location: ____________________ **** vegan zombie **** GRRAAIIINNSS _______
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| Posted: Sun, 25th Jul 2010 23:00 Post subject: |
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yuri, what you re giving her is emotional availability (e.g. listening to her problems and giving advice) which often is a precursor to falling in love. Since she seems to cut you off, when you want to take a turn in talking about issues, it may very well be, that she is using you for it, instead of being interested in a relationship (platonic or otherwise).
I d suggest asking her about it along the lines of the following:
"i have noticed that our talks often have a relationship-like quality in length and content, but you re often cutting me short, when i want to talk about stuff. So, i was wondering if you are just using me for your emotional well-being without considering how i might feel about it."
be aware though that some people are not used to meta-communication like that. Since you re saying she is "brainy", the results should help the both of you come to terms with what kind of relationship it is you re having.
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| Posted: Sun, 25th Jul 2010 23:24 Post subject: |
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I don't get how people who offload their emotional baggage on someone else then "run away" find it effective or useful at all. Isn't she cheating herself basically? :S Shes' fucked in the head mate. Or she's having a laugh with their girlfriends while you try to chat her up over IP. Leave her be is what I'd do.
Asus, B550, 3700X, 3060, 32GB.
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| Posted: Sun, 25th Jul 2010 23:34 Post subject: |
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It's been mentioned but no one actually went out and said it so..
 Spoiler: | fuck her in teh butt  |
Clown Fiesta
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| Posted: Mon, 26th Jul 2010 01:34 Post subject: |
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I think we should add a copyright message to this statement... But on the other hand, we are pirates, who cares about copyright 
@yuri: It sounds a little bit like mirkoodora said it.
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Lutzifer
Modzilla
Posts: 12740
Location: ____________________ **** vegan zombie **** GRRAAIIINNSS _______
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| Posted: Mon, 26th Jul 2010 01:36 Post subject: |
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copyleft - all wrongs reversed, all rights revised!
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| Posted: Mon, 26th Jul 2010 22:54 Post subject: |
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Okay, so I didn't have any sort of communication with her today and blocked her on gtalk...
1 and 2 are still amazing.
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Nalo
nothing
Posts: 13515
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| Posted: Mon, 26th Jul 2010 23:02 Post subject: |
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Last edited by Nalo on Wed, 3rd Jul 2024 07:03; edited 2 times in total
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ixigia
[Moderator] Consigliere
Posts: 65075
Location: Italy
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| Posted: Mon, 26th Jul 2010 23:13 Post subject: |
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| Nalo wrote: | | yuri999 wrote: | | Okay, so I didn't have any sort of communication with her today and blocked her on gtalk... |
I like Lutzifers aproach. Dont beat around the bush, Just ask her outright the questions you want to. |
Yeah sometimes it's better to be explicit, and ask directly for the female genital organ without worrying too much about the consequences |
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Nalo
nothing
Posts: 13515
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| Posted: Mon, 26th Jul 2010 23:18 Post subject: |
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Last edited by Nalo on Wed, 3rd Jul 2024 07:03; edited 2 times in total
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Lutzifer
Modzilla
Posts: 12740
Location: ____________________ **** vegan zombie **** GRRAAIIINNSS _______
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| Posted: Mon, 26th Jul 2010 23:30 Post subject: |
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yup, its all about the beating around the bush, hahahahaahahahah |
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ixigia
[Moderator] Consigliere
Posts: 65075
Location: Italy
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| Posted: Mon, 26th Jul 2010 23:36 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Tue, 27th Jul 2010 00:14 Post subject: |
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Last edited by Yondaime on Mon, 2nd Dec 2024 15:51; edited 1 time in total
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Nalo
nothing
Posts: 13515
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| Posted: Tue, 27th Jul 2010 00:33 Post subject: |
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Last edited by Nalo on Wed, 3rd Jul 2024 07:03; edited 2 times in total
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Saner
Posts: 6877
Location: Uk
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| Posted: Tue, 27th Jul 2010 12:09 Post subject: |
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Dont worry its normal.
Girls like to talk to gay blokes, they know they are not going to get hassled for sex, and they find gay blokes to be more friendly and feminine.
| ragnarus wrote: |
I saw things like that in here and in other "woman problems" topics so...... Am I the only one that thinks some authorities needs to be alerted about Saner and him possibly being a rapist and/or kidnapper ? |
Saner is not being serious. Unless its the subject of Santa!
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spankie
VIP Member
Posts: 2958
Location: Belgium
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| Posted: Wed, 28th Jul 2010 19:43 Post subject: |
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@yuri999
Have you used this yet: | Lutzifer wrote: | | "i have noticed that our talks often have a relationship-like quality in length and content, but you re often cutting me short, when i want to talk about stuff. So, i was wondering if you are just using me for your emotional well-being without considering how i might feel about it." |
Straight to the point. Although I think I would try and sugarcoat the "using me" part incase she flips. You know what women are like.
Ryzen 5 5600, ASUS ROG STRIX B550-F GAMING WIFI II, Corsair Vengeance RGB RT 32GB 3600MHz C16, MSI RTX 5070 Ti Ventus 3X OC , Corsair RMx Series RM750x. AOC AGON AG324UX - 4K 144Hz 1ms
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| Posted: Thu, 29th Jul 2010 03:03 Post subject: |
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Nalo
nothing
Posts: 13515
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| Posted: Thu, 29th Jul 2010 03:14 Post subject: |
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Last edited by Nalo on Wed, 3rd Jul 2024 07:03; edited 2 times in total
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| Posted: Thu, 29th Jul 2010 03:27 Post subject: |
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Can't believe we havent asked earlier
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Saner
Posts: 6877
Location: Uk
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| Posted: Thu, 29th Jul 2010 13:10 Post subject: |
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Can someone translate that post for me ?
| ragnarus wrote: |
I saw things like that in here and in other "woman problems" topics so...... Am I the only one that thinks some authorities needs to be alerted about Saner and him possibly being a rapist and/or kidnapper ? |
Saner is not being serious. Unless its the subject of Santa!
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| Posted: Thu, 29th Jul 2010 13:27 Post subject: |
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It's a great step by stepbguide,wich part u didn't got?
I think,therefore i am,but not necessarily today.
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WaldoJ
VIP Member
Posts: 32678
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| Posted: Thu, 29th Jul 2010 14:11 Post subject: |
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the part that didn't make sense.
| Sin317 wrote: | | I win, you lose. Or Go fuck yourself. |
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Epsilon
Dr. Strangelove
Posts: 9240
Location: War Room
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| Posted: Thu, 29th Jul 2010 17:58 Post subject: |
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I know it hurts yuri and I'll let you finish, but timechange makes the best girlfriend threads ever.
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| Posted: Thu, 29th Jul 2010 22:59 Post subject: |
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| Epsilon wrote: | I know it hurts yuri and I'll let you finish, but timechange makes the best girlfriend threads ever.
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Haha, true. No one can beat timechange.
Anyways, I talked to her about it and things were a bit tense but then she got the message. As it was, I was never interested in her romantically (I did mix up admiration and love, sorted it out quickly tho) and also made her understand. We'll be good friends but apart from that nothing more. I just hope this doesn't get between our friendship though... hard to find intellectual girls like her. But then, I did want it to stop and it has.... she's hasn't messaged for over a day. Mixed feelings but life goes on and I'll live with the consequences.
Thanks for the advice Lutzifer and all of you pushing for me to follow it
1 and 2 are still amazing. |
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