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 Posted: Sat, 30th Apr 2011 10:49 Post subject: |
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Try eating 1 prune each day, then 2, then 3, until you produce a poop the size you like, you'll naturarly go more than once a day....
Prunes are awesome that way.
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Rofl_Mao
Posts: 3187
Location: Nederland
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tonizito
VIP Member
Posts: 51456
Location: Portugal, the shithole of Europe.
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| Posted: Wed, 25th May 2011 17:29 Post subject: |
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Review your fiber consumption or get a normal toilet. 
| boundle (thoughts on cracking AITD) wrote: | | i guess thouth if without a legit key the installation was rolling back we are all fucking then |
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Rofl_Mao
Posts: 3187
Location: Nederland
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| Posted: Wed, 25th May 2011 18:38 Post subject: |
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| tonizito wrote: | | Review your fiber consumption or get a normal toilet. |
I have the "Heil Hitler toilet". I ain't gonna change that, it's tradition here . When it's clogged it reminds me of the Führer: a disgusting mess 
And yes, I do eat a lot of dietary fibre. If I eat less I get obstipation, which means hard black lumps of poo that will sooner or later end in an anal fissure.
If you look closely (don't know why you would actually WANT to look closely at the poo ) you can see lots of tiny red specks. Those are undigested flax seeds. I eat a couple of tablespoons of those every day for a huge fiber boost. The flax oil is also rich in Omega 3 fatty acids. Which is entirely clean, without minute quantities of lead or mercury which is found in fish nowadays. Fibers can't be digested which is why they end up in the poo.
| Lopin18 wrote: | | I think you played too much Fallout 3, Pedo Perk acquired. |
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| Posted: Thu, 26th May 2011 01:41 Post subject: |
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Nalo
nothing
Posts: 13524
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| Posted: Thu, 26th May 2011 02:10 Post subject: |
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Last edited by Nalo on Wed, 3rd Jul 2024 06:49; edited 2 times in total
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TSR69
Banned
Posts: 14962
Location: Republic of the Seven United Provinces
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| Posted: Thu, 26th May 2011 02:18 Post subject: |
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Well that was not so bad. I have seen bigger turds, both in length and in diameter. My own turds can be longer on a good turd day and once when I was like 14 or so my 3 year older sister forgot to flush the toilet and I was quite appalled. That size would have been the end of my anus. :/ I guess women in general have a bigger anal opening than men.
Hopefully we can bury the turd stories now.
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Rofl_Mao
Posts: 3187
Location: Nederland
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| Posted: Thu, 26th May 2011 11:28 Post subject: |
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| iconized wrote: | | Well that was not so bad. I have seen bigger turds, both in length and in diameter. My own turds can be longer on a good turd day and once when I was like 14 or so my 3 year older sister forgot to flush the toilet and I was quite appalled. |
OK, I feel both disappointed and relieved right now.
-apparently 30cm logs are not that special anymore!
-there is nothing wrong with me as other people apparently can shit like horses too
Which still leaves one question unanswered: why are only MY logs clogging the toilet, while other people's brown bazookas rarely cause a jam?
| Lopin18 wrote: | | I think you played too much Fallout 3, Pedo Perk acquired. |
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Rofl_Mao
Posts: 3187
Location: Nederland
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| Posted: Thu, 26th May 2011 11:29 Post subject: |
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| kenny64 wrote: | | My life is now complete. |
| Lopin18 wrote: | | I think you played too much Fallout 3, Pedo Perk acquired. |
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| Posted: Thu, 26th May 2011 11:30 Post subject: |
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never seen a turd like that. man thats huge! is it.. human?
congratz man! u know ur shits
>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> ♪ Viva La Vida ♪ <<<<<< <<<<< <<<<<< <<<
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| Posted: Thu, 26th May 2011 18:13 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Thu, 26th May 2011 19:05 Post subject: |
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But really, that is some giant turd. How do you shit that thing?!
I mean, you sure you haven't been secretly butsexed? Because that's just... I dk what to say 
"Quantum mechanics is actually, contrary to it's reputation, unbeliveably simple, once you take the physics out."
Scott Aaronson | chiv wrote: | | thats true you know. newton didnt discover gravity. the apple told him about it, and then he killed it. the core was never found. |
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mtj
Posts: 2315
Location: Austria / Finland
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mtj
Posts: 2315
Location: Austria / Finland
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| Posted: Fri, 27th May 2011 00:46 Post subject: |
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oh... didn't notice at night that I had done a double post. And too late for me to delete it anymore.
Well. someone delete this please.
Intel Core I-9 9900K @ stock, ASUS Z 390A MoBo, 32GB 3.6GHz, Zotac 3090 | BeQuiet 1000W PSU, Be Quiet Dark Base Pro 900 case, 49" Samsung G9
Last edited by mtj on Fri, 27th May 2011 12:33; edited 1 time in total
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Rofl_Mao
Posts: 3187
Location: Nederland
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| Posted: Fri, 27th May 2011 12:48 Post subject: |
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| mtj wrote: | Ooh... you've also 'ski-jumping toilet' ? God damn I hate those... I've one as well.
I'm always worried when flushing that the logs are going to jump out of the toilet.
These toilets have also another problem  Even if you don't defecate a log, but just a massive mountain of... pudding, if it's tight enough, it'll weigh more than the water pressure can push.
Damn that was a nightmare... spent 10 minutes flushing the toilet until it managed to crumble my mighty mountain. |
That usually happens as well. The "mighty mountain" is too heavy to move. So I just push it "downstream" when the water is flowing. Hands wrapped in toilet paper of course.
| Lopin18 wrote: | | I think you played too much Fallout 3, Pedo Perk acquired. |
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| Posted: Fri, 27th May 2011 13:07 Post subject: |
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| Rofl_Mao wrote: |
That usually happens as well. The "mighty mountain" is too heavy to move. So I just push it "downstream" when the water is flowing. Hands wrapped in toilet paper of course. |
Hehe... I hate it when a cliff suddenly trows all the water out of the toilet.
Empty again  |
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Rofl_Mao
Posts: 3187
Location: Nederland
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| Posted: Fri, 27th May 2011 16:07 Post subject: |
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| Lathieza wrote: | | Rofl_Mao wrote: |
That usually happens as well. The "mighty mountain" is too heavy to move. So I just push it "downstream" when the water is flowing. Hands wrapped in toilet paper of course. |
Hehe... I hate it when a cliff suddenly trows all the water out of the toilet. |
Happened to me as well.
| Lopin18 wrote: | | I think you played too much Fallout 3, Pedo Perk acquired. |
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Rofl_Mao
Posts: 3187
Location: Nederland
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| Posted: Sat, 28th May 2011 15:46 Post subject: |
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| human_steel wrote: | | Rofl_Mao wrote: | | Hands wrapped in toilet paper of course. |
Why don't you use a cleaning toilet brush instead of hands? 
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Why don't I shove turds down the toilet with the toilet brush. Because the toilet brush would get very dirty itself. The evil kind of dirty, as in shit stained. So I prefer to move the logs manually with toilet paper. Flush the whole shebang and I'm done.
| Lopin18 wrote: | | I think you played too much Fallout 3, Pedo Perk acquired. |
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| Posted: Sat, 28th May 2011 16:51 Post subject: |
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But I thought that's the purpose of the toilet brush xD You know, to clean turds off the toilet It's not supposed to be pristine clean
"Quantum mechanics is actually, contrary to it's reputation, unbeliveably simple, once you take the physics out."
Scott Aaronson | chiv wrote: | | thats true you know. newton didnt discover gravity. the apple told him about it, and then he killed it. the core was never found. |
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Rofl_Mao
Posts: 3187
Location: Nederland
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| Posted: Sat, 28th May 2011 21:54 Post subject: |
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| dingo_d wrote: | | But I thought that's the purpose of the toilet brush xD You know, to clean turds off the toilet It's not supposed to be pristine clean |
I don't feel comfortable in a bathroom with a dirty toilet brush
| Lopin18 wrote: | | I think you played too much Fallout 3, Pedo Perk acquired. |
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TSR69
Banned
Posts: 14962
Location: Republic of the Seven United Provinces
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| Posted: Sat, 28th May 2011 22:53 Post subject: |
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| Rofl_Mao wrote: | | dingo_d wrote: | | But I thought that's the purpose of the toilet brush xD You know, to clean turds off the toilet It's not supposed to be pristine clean |
I don't feel comfortable in a bathroom with a dirty toilet brush |
You clean the brush afterwards, you know put it in the toilet (clean), put some domestos or mr. Clean, and flush...
I thought I have bathroom issues xD
"Quantum mechanics is actually, contrary to it's reputation, unbeliveably simple, once you take the physics out."
Scott Aaronson | chiv wrote: | | thats true you know. newton didnt discover gravity. the apple told him about it, and then he killed it. the core was never found. |
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TSR69
Banned
Posts: 14962
Location: Republic of the Seven United Provinces
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| Posted: Sun, 29th May 2011 07:50 Post subject: |
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| dingo_d wrote: | | Rofl_Mao wrote: | | dingo_d wrote: | | But I thought that's the purpose of the toilet brush xD You know, to clean turds off the toilet It's not supposed to be pristine clean |
I don't feel comfortable in a bathroom with a dirty toilet brush |
You clean the brush afterwards, you know put it in the toilet (clean), put some domestos or mr. Clean, and flush...
I thought I have bathroom issues xD |
don't you guys have some women around the house for this nasty stuff? 
>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> ♪ Viva La Vida ♪ <<<<<< <<<<< <<<<<< <<< |
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| Posted: Sun, 29th May 2011 10:19 Post subject: |
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| Laurentiu499 wrote: | | dingo_d wrote: | | Rofl_Mao wrote: |
I don't feel comfortable in a bathroom with a dirty toilet brush |
You clean the brush afterwards, you know put it in the toilet (clean), put some domestos or mr. Clean, and flush...
I thought I have bathroom issues xD |
don't you guys have some women around the house for this nasty stuff? |
Somehow I managed to wipe my own ass and clean my own turds, I don't need my mom for that
"Quantum mechanics is actually, contrary to it's reputation, unbeliveably simple, once you take the physics out."
Scott Aaronson | chiv wrote: | | thats true you know. newton didnt discover gravity. the apple told him about it, and then he killed it. the core was never found. |
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| Posted: Sun, 29th May 2011 14:58 Post subject: |
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Mao now you gave me a mental picture to remember you by. and what a picture indeed.
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Nalo
nothing
Posts: 13524
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| Posted: Sun, 29th May 2011 15:01 Post subject: |
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Last edited by Nalo on Wed, 3rd Jul 2024 06:49; edited 2 times in total
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