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 Posted: Thu, 1st Nov 2012 04:54 Post subject: life sucks. |
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With no money and no kids. And you cant have kids with no money, and you cant have money or time for kids when they pay you 200€ a month. So you work all day for 200€ just so you can eat and pay your bills. Whats the point ?
Thinking of ending it this year on my birthday. My one and only concern is whats gonna happen to my dog, who's gonna feed him? sigh
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aevis
Posts: 522
Location: Absurdia
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Nov 2012 05:37 Post subject: |
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I understand how the outlook on having children in Romania might look pretty bleak, but have you ever considered emigrating ? Considering the only thing you seem to worry about is your dog, i doubt there's anything holding you back.
Also, the way i see it, ending your life prematurely is never a viable option. Are you a religious person ? Because i'd honestly rather live like shit than not live at all (unless there'd be some sort of terminal illness involved).
Shit is pretty fucked up over here, but if you are serious about making your life better and starting a family i think there are always some steps (emigration being just one of them) you can at least attempt to make before giving up.
Hang in there, brother!
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Nov 2012 05:47 Post subject: |
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Yes I did actually. But waking up in a country where you dont know anybody, having to find a job when you dont even know the language.. I dont really think its a viable option unless you have some serious starting money. I keep imagining having to sleep on a bench on some random park.. its scarry
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Nov 2012 06:12 Post subject: |
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I didn't think things were so bad in Brasov - but to be honest, do not think about suicide - that's never a good solution, and you only have this one life. Nothing sucks more than death, imho.
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aevis
Posts: 522
Location: Absurdia
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Nov 2012 06:36 Post subject: |
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| Vikerness wrote: | | Yes I did actually. But waking up in a country where you dont know anybody, having to find a job when you dont even know the language.. I dont really think its a viable option unless you have some serious starting money. I keep imagining having to sleep on a bench on some random park.. its scarry |
It is fucking scary, i will agree with you on that, but i reckon you've probably got a better chance at succeeding than if you were to just end it. Emigrating also depends a lot on the field of your work obviously but do some research beforehand as opposed to all the romanians that left for Italy to sleep under bridges and what not. Even if it fails, it will give you something to fight for and a reason not to think like this.
Now, I don't know you and I have no idea what you've been through despite living in the same country, but I honestly hope you decide to exhaust every other possibility (no matter how small or ridiculous) until you even start considering ending it. As Radicalus put it: "Nothing sucks more than death".
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Nov 2012 13:55 Post subject: |
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Remember something, we are in life to enjoy it, maybe your current situation is hard, but ffs, dying is just qutting the fun. Nevermind the kids right now, i may be saying things u already know but why not try to get a diff job, even if its harder, experiment, or try to start a small bussiness or something. Something to give your life a steer. What you should be looking for is a small change, so u can have more time or money to have fun, to progress a bit.
Ive thought a lot of times to end it, i dont actually see much of life in the end, ive enjoyed a lot of things and i would go in peace. But i remembered that i can still have fun in life, even if i stop caring about stuff like family and kids. So instead of giving up i started having fun, working harder, pushing myself to get further and see what chances i get. So far its been worth it, ive lived new stuff and im planning to change more to enjoy more of life, even if i dont get married or have kids, ill still live good.
The thought of not risking and not changing to see what i can get or see was more frightening than dying because i know that death just means and i turn off, im not religious, and to think ill miss having fun or risking stuff that i normally wouldnt do... i saw it as a waste. Dont know ur situation, but i think you can accomplish lil changes and start building a new path.
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Invasor
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Nov 2012 16:09 Post subject: |
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I've considered suicide when I was a teenager (I'm 28 now). Then I realized I should first change my life completely, try every possibility. If your life is shit, try changing it in every possible way (leave your job, try a different one, start doing drugs, stop doing drugs, go to clubs, don't go to clubs, leave your country, etc., really try everything you can). How much worse can it become? Considering that you want to kill yourself now... Don't go without trying and living first.
P.S. I gave this very same advice to a (former) friend who was suicidal, 7 years ago. Now he's a complete asshole with zero respect for anybody (seriously). Not what I had in mind when I said "try everything"   but I guess it worked for him...
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fisk
Posts: 9145
Location: Von Oben
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Nov 2012 16:37 Post subject: |
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No it doesn't. Maybe for you, but life in general rocks! :]
Yes, yes I'm back.
Somewhat.
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Nov 2012 16:53 Post subject: |
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| Invasor wrote: | I've considered suicide when I was a teenager (I'm 28 now). Then I realized I should first change my life completely, try every possibility. If your life is shit, try changing it in every possible way (leave your job, try a different one, start doing drugs, stop doing drugs, go to clubs, don't go to clubs, leave your country, etc., really try everything you can). How much worse can it become? Considering that you want to kill yourself now... Don't go without trying and living first.
P.S. I gave this very same advice to a (former) friend who was suicidal, 7 years ago. Now he's a complete asshole with zero respect for anybody (seriously). Not what I had in mind when I said "try everything" but I guess it worked for him... |
soo.. tried being gay? 
| Lutzifer wrote: | | and yes, mine is only average |
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Nov 2012 16:54 Post subject: |
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| Invasor wrote: | I've considered suicide when I was a teenager (I'm 28 now). Then I realized I should first change my life completely, try every possibility. If your life is shit, try changing it in every possible way (leave your job, try a different one, start doing drugs, stop doing drugs, go to clubs, don't go to clubs, leave your country, etc., really try everything you can). How much worse can it become? Considering that you want to kill yourself now... Don't go without trying and living first.
P.S. I gave this very same advice to a (former) friend who was suicidal, 7 years ago. Now he's a complete asshole with zero respect for anybody (seriously). Not what I had in mind when I said "try everything" but I guess it worked for him... |
Out of curiosity did he start using anti depressants possibly ? they can have quite a large impact on someone's character. I have seen it happen to a friend of mine. When he quit using them he turned back into his old self.
Per Ardua Ad Astra
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Nov 2012 16:57 Post subject: |
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Im 28 as well.. never been as confused as i am now and im not sure what should i do.. or what would be a life worth changing yourself for.. Did all that boose drugs gangs clubs assholery.. started when i was 17 i think and lasted for about 3 years.. gotten to a point where i was using drugs almost every day and had to switch to injectable stuff.. got scared of how much i enjoy it, and completely changed my life after that. I stopped, i started learning, got into orthodox university, met a relatively nice girl and 3 years after that.. when about to graduate and get married i got scared again, left school and broke up with the girl. After that i started a small business which failed, started another one which completely failed and made me feel disgusted whenever i think about money. Yet here i am today having to work for nothing, just to be able to pay the bills. Thats why i mentioned kids earlier because i know that if i'd had one i'd go out of my way to make their life as good as possible and hoping he doesnt end up like me. That would be the safe path. The not so safe path would be to start being an asshole again, going <whatever> when it comes to life and everybody else, and just having fun at the expense of whoever gets in my way, probably like your friend is doing.
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Invasor
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Nov 2012 17:06 Post subject: |
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| StrEagle wrote: | | Invasor wrote: | I've considered suicide when I was a teenager (I'm 28 now). Then I realized I should first change my life completely, try every possibility. If your life is shit, try changing it in every possible way (leave your job, try a different one, start doing drugs, stop doing drugs, go to clubs, don't go to clubs, leave your country, etc., really try everything you can). How much worse can it become? Considering that you want to kill yourself now... Don't go without trying and living first.
P.S. I gave this very same advice to a (former) friend who was suicidal, 7 years ago. Now he's a complete asshole with zero respect for anybody (seriously). Not what I had in mind when I said "try everything" but I guess it worked for him... |
soo.. tried being gay? |
Well, the idea was to try everything I could possibly want... So no. 
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Nov 2012 17:11 Post subject: |
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I wish I had something useful to say, but I am pretty much like you only 12 years older. The will to live or maybe rather our survival instinct is really quite strong even if you hate life. So I wish you strength for whatever choice you (are able) to make, I have always been too scared to end it myself. And meanwhile while you are thinking it over you always a have a small chance of suddenly finding something that makes it work for you. Who the hell knows right?
Per Ardua Ad Astra
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Invasor
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Nov 2012 17:14 Post subject: |
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| Anticasper wrote: | | Out of curiosity did he start using anti depressants possibly ? they can have quite a large impact on someone's character. I have seen it happen to a friend of mine. When he quit using them he turned back into his old self. |
To be honest I don't know. I lost contact with him after he started changing, and only recently found him on facebook. All I know is I can't stand him anymore (and he treated me with absolute disdain anyway).
| Vikerness wrote: | | Im 28 as well.. never been as confused as i am now and im not sure what should i do.. or what would be a life worth changing yourself for.. Did all that boose drugs gangs clubs assholery.. started when i was 17 i think and lasted for about 3 years.. gotten to a point where i was using drugs almost every day and had to switch to injectable stuff.. got scared of how much i enjoy it, and completely changed my life after that. I stopped, i started learning, got into orthodox university, met a relatively nice girl and 3 years after that.. when about to graduate and get married i got scared again, left school and broke up with the girl. After that i started a small business which failed, started another one which completely failed and made me feel disgusted whenever i think about money. Yet here i am today having to work for nothing, just to be able to pay the bills. Thats why i mentioned kids earlier because i know that if i'd had one i'd go out of my way to make their life as good as possible and hoping he doesnt end up like me. That would be the safe path. The not so safe path would be to start being an asshole again, going <whatever> when it comes to life and everybody else, and just having fun at the expense of whoever gets in my way, probably like your friend is doing. |
I'm pretty confused lately too. Stuck in a career I hate, in a country I don't like. Going back (to your old ways) is probably not the best choice (I think about it too, but I doubt it would satisfy me now). We do grow up (and grow old)...
Maybe answers will come with time. But I'm fairly sure that we gotta make things happen, time itself doesn't do much.
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Nov 2012 17:50 Post subject: |
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| Invasor wrote: | | We do grow up (and grow old)... |
Do we really? 10 years ago i could just do stuff; now whenever im about to do something or make a decission my tiny overwhelmed brain gets in the way. Is what im about to do right or wrong? Whats the success chance? Is it worth doing in the long run? What are the consequences? Is it polite? Do i care if its polite? Do i really want to do it? Should i spend my time doing something else?
Is this what growing up means? Putting more thought into things?
It probably is, and probably the successful ones are having similar thought processes with the difference being that they complete that process really fast and act accordingly. This is where one problem is, whenever im about to do something i start feeling retarded and guys like me are better off with no thought process at all, just doing whatever they feel like doing.
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garus
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Nov 2012 18:03 Post subject: |
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snip
Last edited by garus on Tue, 27th Aug 2024 21:52; edited 1 time in total
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Invasor
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Nov 2012 19:12 Post subject: |
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I dont think emigrating is the solution like suggested, somehow some people are under the illusion that life with no education is better per example in the Netherlands than it is per example in Romania?
If you come here without speaking the language and having any education you wont find a job and even if you do, you better prepare to do the same mindless shit you were doing in your old country.
I seriously suggest you try to get an eduction into IT or something and just start something small, taking your life is pretty stupid considering its the only real Loss-Loss situation? Just because you feel shit now doesnt mean you will feel shit in the future, I mean were you miserable for the entirety of your 28 year life? You made mistakes, we all do, some bigger than others, grab your shit together and work hard. If youre smart and motivated enough there is always a way out other than killing yourself.
I hope you dont do anything stupid.
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Nov 2012 19:15 Post subject: |
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I dont know if youre religious by the way but from what Ive seen you can always ask the local pastor or something for help, atleast religion has its useful perks there. Get to know some people who know more people who know more people that can actually help you if you catch my drift.
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Nov 2012 20:13 Post subject: |
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I do know a lot of religious people, i went to orthodox uni like i said; at the time i thought they were either extremely close minded, hypocrits or just wolves dressed as sheeps. Got very annoyed at some point in my last uni year, decided that i dont belong there and left but in the end i guess it was me that was closed minded as that decision closed a lot of doors for me.. i dont ever regret things in my past but that right there.. what a bloody idiot i was.. problem now is that im neither smart or motivated to start uni all over again..
Its probably what ill end up doing anyway, because i dont really have a choice.. except it will be much harder now, having to work as well as study.. the price to pay for retarded past choices
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Nov 2012 21:31 Post subject: |
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| Vikerness wrote: | | Is this what growing up means? Putting more thought into things? |
I do that a lot more than I did when I was young so I would agree some what there.
dust.
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| Posted: Fri, 2nd Nov 2012 13:05 Post subject: |
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Come to Sweden, we'll take care of you!
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| Posted: Fri, 2nd Nov 2012 13:23 Post subject: |
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| farne wrote: | | Come to Sweden, we'll take care of you! |
This is what I am seriously considering myself, after talking to Farne about all this stuff. I'm in almost the same situation as you, ALMOST, because it's actually even harder for me. I'm gonna finish my studies and move out from here, with my gf, because it's... you don't stand a chance without having "relations" with people placed on a higher level than you. It's abnoxious, I know, I wouldn't do that even if I could, because it's not a moral choice and I won't be making a living on someone's hardworking back. It's just wrong. I'd wish for the world to change during my lifetime, but there's only little hope that will actually happen. I just wanna get out of here, start all over with my girl which I love from the bottom of my heart, get decent jobs in the field we're in, and just get small house of our own, a little car maybe, get married with her and have kids, nephews and.. ah, I'm just daydreaming, but it gives hope.. Hope is what you need to get past shitty days we all have, more or less. So stay strong, mate, you're gonna find a solution that will give you hope, you can't just give up that easily. You don't meet problems throughout your life, you meet challenges you can get past. That's what a highschool physics teacher once told me. A very wise and calculated man, I feel bad for not keeping in contact with him. He was the closest thing I had to a father during highschool, he taught me a lot of stuff. I owe him a lot.
Even though I'm a bit younger than you - turning 23 in February - I hope that my insight on this problem you are having will serve you more than an actual "meh".
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| Posted: Fri, 2nd Nov 2012 14:27 Post subject: |
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Yeah, like hux and everyone else said Vikerness.... you just can't think like that. I won't lie, I myself have gone through a severe phase of depression and haven't talked to anyone about it even with mostly supportive family. The thing is that 99% of the times things will never go the way you want them to. You can only do your best and adapt to the situation. However, saying "I should end it all" is senseless. You're just giving up after failing? You don't need me to tell you how some of our greatest inventors met failure and yet never gave up, never backed down. Why? They never gave up. In the end when everyone leaves you, you're all alone, backed in a corner... stand up and face everything head on and never give up. Because you can always rely on yourself and in the end what matters is that you gave it your best instead of "never doing or trying anything at all".
1 and 2 are still amazing.
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Nov 2012 02:02 Post subject: |
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| farne wrote: | | Come to Sweden, we'll take care of you! |
Sponsor me for a VISA pls. I swear I will take care of all your girls for you!
But on topic, Dude, I am in a pretty shitty situation myself but How I deal with it is enjoy what life has to offer for free, I smoke weed in mountains, forests, good landscapes. Charm my way into a fine girl's panties.
Basically it's a hard position that'll grant you skills to get shit that make you happy for free.
I am unemployed, I live in a place you wouldn't even dare step foot in and still there's a few things that keep me going when I care less and treat the world as a sweet sandbox.
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| Posted: Sun, 4th Nov 2012 10:01 Post subject: |
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| huxanomaly2 wrote: | | I'm in almost the same situation |
.. Financially maybe.. I cant even remember the last time i felt hope or had someone or something to care for.. So i was reading through replies and started thinking ..are hopes and dreams completely gone? is there really nothing that i want ? nothing worth living for? a bigger house? my house is fine. a nicer car? my car is fine. gas money? food money? not really things i'd hope to hope for >_>
So there.. i dont want anything.. yet there's this loud voice in me yelling "you're not happy, you need to do something, you need to live your life".. See the confusion? the contradiction? How can i constantly feel that there's something important (for me) to do out there and at the same time not wanting anything in particular? This voice is what keeps me going.. a voice.. sigh.. or maybe i am crazy and i should stop and laugh at it.. or maybe..
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Nalo
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| Posted: Sun, 4th Nov 2012 14:24 Post subject: |
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Last edited by Nalo on Wed, 3rd Jul 2024 06:31; edited 2 times in total
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| Posted: Sun, 4th Nov 2012 16:56 Post subject: |
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| Nalo wrote: | | Vikerness wrote: | | huxanomaly2 wrote: | | I'm in almost the same situation |
.. Financially maybe.. I cant even remember the last time i felt hope or had someone or something to care for.. So i was reading through replies and started thinking ..are hopes and dreams completely gone? is there really nothing that i want ? nothing worth living for? a bigger house? my house is fine. a nicer car? my car is fine. gas money? food money? not really things i'd hope to hope for >_>
So there.. i dont want anything.. yet there's this loud voice in me yelling "you're not happy, you need to do something, you need to live your life".. See the confusion? the contradiction? How can i constantly feel that there's something important (for me) to do out there and at the same time not wanting anything in particular? This voice is what keeps me going.. a voice.. sigh.. or maybe i am crazy and i should stop and laugh at it.. or maybe.. |
You are looking towards material things for happiness and because you don't want for anything, you assume you should be happy or fulfilled? There is more to life than the possessions you own. |
This. Looking for material possessions for happiness is like looking at life through a hose or something.
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Sin317
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| Posted: Sun, 4th Nov 2012 18:48 Post subject: |
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| FireMaster wrote: | | Nalo wrote: | | Vikerness wrote: | .. Financially maybe.. I cant even remember the last time i felt hope or had someone or something to care for.. So i was reading through replies and started thinking ..are hopes and dreams completely gone? is there really nothing that i want ? nothing worth living for? a bigger house? my house is fine. a nicer car? my car is fine. gas money? food money? not really things i'd hope to hope for >_>
So there.. i dont want anything.. yet there's this loud voice in me yelling "you're not happy, you need to do something, you need to live your life".. See the confusion? the contradiction? How can i constantly feel that there's something important (for me) to do out there and at the same time not wanting anything in particular? This voice is what keeps me going.. a voice.. sigh.. or maybe i am crazy and i should stop and laugh at it.. or maybe.. |
You are looking towards material things for happiness and because you don't want for anything, you assume you should be happy or fulfilled? There is more to life than the possessions you own. |
This. Looking for material possessions for happiness is like looking at life through a hose or something. |
No i am not. I was looking at things that were missing from my life to see what can and cant be excluded. And so i was tempted to go back to my first post: money and kids. A child to feel fulfilled and money to fulfiil the child... but see how wrong this sounds? This wannabe logic way of thinking, while good at getting things done, definitely doesnt help when trying to prioritize things in life. I dont want a relashionship thus i can stop going out with girls. I dont want shallow cheesy friends' meetings thus i can stop going out with friends. I dont want material things thus i can stop making money. Its just wrong and I really need to stop thinking like this; maybe i need a bit of everything.
This posting helps a bit.. like putting thoughts on paper and somehow making them more real.. in bad english due to bad english skills but still it does help..
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