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 Posted: Sun, 22nd Dec 2013 16:17 Post subject: Hurt a girl real bad :( |
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Ill vent here for a bit...
A few weeks ago I met a girl at a Children of Bodom gig. She looked me up on facebook and we started talking. It got pretty raunchy. She lives in another city and has a kid from a previous relationship, but still the same age as me (21). It kept me at distance a bit and she knew she wasnt probably going to get a permanent relationship till her kid grows older.
We agreed to meet yesterday when I had some other business to her city. Till that date our conversations got a lot more bold. I know I have a problem differentiating between lust and affection at times and I made that mistake again. I started giving her hope that we might be something in the future. She really fell in love with me, but looking back I only had lust I guess. After we met I kinda felt it after we had sex, but didnt have guts to say it out to her face. told her today and I think I hurt her really bad.
I feel like a total shithead. Shouldnt have given her that much hope and shouldve taken it much slower I guess. Ruined her Christmas...
i5-3570k @4.4gHz, MSI GTX 970 GAMING 4g OC'd, MSI z77a-g45, Corsair Vengeance 8gb 1600mHz, Corsair TX650 PSU, Crucial M4 128gb, WD 1.5 TB HDD, Seagate 1TB HDD, LG 27MB85R-B 1440p
RSI name: ctulu
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deelix
PDIP Member
Posts: 32062
Location: Norway
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garus
VIP Member
Posts: 34200
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| Posted: Sun, 22nd Dec 2013 16:21 Post subject: |
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snip
Last edited by garus on Tue, 27th Aug 2024 21:52; edited 1 time in total
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Saner
Posts: 6877
Location: Uk
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| Posted: Sun, 22nd Dec 2013 16:26 Post subject: |
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Dont worry if she falls in love in 2 weeks she will probably have forgotten you by the 25th 
| ragnarus wrote: |
I saw things like that in here and in other "woman problems" topics so...... Am I the only one that thinks some authorities needs to be alerted about Saner and him possibly being a rapist and/or kidnapper ? |
Saner is not being serious. Unless its the subject of Santa!
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| Posted: Sun, 22nd Dec 2013 16:28 Post subject: |
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| Saner wrote: | | Dont worry if she falls in love in 2 weeks she will probably have forgotten you by the 25th |
I really do hope you're right, but she isnt some kind of a slutty type.
i5-3570k @4.4gHz, MSI GTX 970 GAMING 4g OC'd, MSI z77a-g45, Corsair Vengeance 8gb 1600mHz, Corsair TX650 PSU, Crucial M4 128gb, WD 1.5 TB HDD, Seagate 1TB HDD, LG 27MB85R-B 1440p
RSI name: ctulu
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ClaudeFTW
Posts: 5074
Location: Bucharest, Romania
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| Posted: Sun, 22nd Dec 2013 16:33 Post subject: |
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She's still 21. Both you and her have your whole life ahead of you. It's not your fault, she should have known better. Ok, it's a little bit your fault for leading her on but that's how we function in order to get the pussy.
Congratz on another frag.
R7 2700x @4GHz / MSI B450 Tomahawk / beQuiet! Dark Rock 4 / 32GB @3000 MHz / MSI RTX 2060 Gaming Z / Samsung 850 EVO 250GB / Western Digital 1TB / Fractal Design Meshify C Dark / SuperFlower Leadex Gold 650W / DELL whatever 27 inch IPS
I usually stream stuff: http://www.twitch.tv/claudeftw
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Saner
Posts: 6877
Location: Uk
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| Posted: Sun, 22nd Dec 2013 16:33 Post subject: |
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Maybe not, but its more likely to be some kind of needyness or lust rather than love after 2 weeks, unless she is a character in an American TV series
Not unheard of ofcourse but just unlikely (imo obviously)
| ragnarus wrote: |
I saw things like that in here and in other "woman problems" topics so...... Am I the only one that thinks some authorities needs to be alerted about Saner and him possibly being a rapist and/or kidnapper ? |
Saner is not being serious. Unless its the subject of Santa!
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Invasor
Moderator
Posts: 7638
Location: On the road
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| Posted: Sun, 22nd Dec 2013 16:34 Post subject: |
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She should (and probably will) be more worried about her kid than about you. And two weeks is still not too late to tell the truth, I wouldn't call you an asshole for that. I mean, you probably didn't know from day one what you wanted with her, right? You needed some time to figure that out, and not long after you did you told her.
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RatKing
Posts: 1212
Location: Nondescript cave in the land of the polar bears, Finland
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| Posted: Sun, 22nd Dec 2013 16:41 Post subject: |
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I'm living a similar kind of situation in my life. Been spending a lot of time with a girl and we've had quite the fun. It started out as mere sex but she accidentally fell for me quite hard. She knows where I stand, not to expect too much but still. You can't really control your own feelings.
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Saner
Posts: 6877
Location: Uk
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| Posted: Sun, 22nd Dec 2013 16:43 Post subject: |
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| RatKing wrote: | | I'm living a similar kind of situation in my life. Been spending a lot of time with a girl and we've had quite the fun. It started out as mere sex but she accidentally fell for me quite hard. She knows where I stand, not to expect too much but still. You can't really control your own feelings. |
Just because you gave your right hhand a female name does not make it female.
| ragnarus wrote: |
I saw things like that in here and in other "woman problems" topics so...... Am I the only one that thinks some authorities needs to be alerted about Saner and him possibly being a rapist and/or kidnapper ? |
Saner is not being serious. Unless its the subject of Santa! |
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RatKing
Posts: 1212
Location: Nondescript cave in the land of the polar bears, Finland
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| Posted: Sun, 22nd Dec 2013 16:47 Post subject: |
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No no, silly. Right hand is the mouse hand. 
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| Posted: Sun, 22nd Dec 2013 22:30 Post subject: |
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You should not of fucked her u asshole..
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Nalo
nothing
Posts: 13515
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| Posted: Sun, 22nd Dec 2013 23:26 Post subject: |
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Last edited by Nalo on Wed, 3rd Jul 2024 06:22; edited 2 times in total
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Dec 2013 00:14 Post subject: |
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I hate to ask this, but did you FHITB?
| Lutzifer wrote: | | and yes, mine is only average |
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Nalo
nothing
Posts: 13515
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Dec 2013 00:25 Post subject: |
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Last edited by Nalo on Wed, 3rd Jul 2024 06:22; edited 2 times in total
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Dec 2013 00:44 Post subject: |
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I didnt really figure out my feelings till some time after sex. She was the main one pushing it.
i5-3570k @4.4gHz, MSI GTX 970 GAMING 4g OC'd, MSI z77a-g45, Corsair Vengeance 8gb 1600mHz, Corsair TX650 PSU, Crucial M4 128gb, WD 1.5 TB HDD, Seagate 1TB HDD, LG 27MB85R-B 1440p
RSI name: ctulu
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Nalo
nothing
Posts: 13515
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Dec 2013 01:09 Post subject: |
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Last edited by Nalo on Wed, 3rd Jul 2024 06:22; edited 2 times in total
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ixigia
[Moderator] Consigliere
Posts: 65079
Location: Italy
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Dec 2013 01:12 Post subject: |
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What you did Kaze wasn't anything bad or deplorable really. You tried, and told her the truth when you were sure that it couldn't work.
Actually it's quite common that we need more time than women to elaborate and process the whole thing in order have a clear perspective, it's all about having different timings.  It sucks because now she obviously feels bad, and this will last for some days, but as Invasor said, two weeks is not to late and if you're sure that you did the right thing..well you shouldn't be too hard on yourself. It happens!
edit: yup! Nalo's theory is also familiar xD
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DXWarlock
VIP Member
Posts: 11422
Location: Florida, USA
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Dec 2013 01:28 Post subject: |
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You are both young, teenage years and first few years of your 20's are the years this happens, a lot.
Especially with girls (not trying to be chauvinist, just from my experience they seem to do it more often than guys at that age but guys do it also..take sellob ).
Its part of growing up. Meeting someone, knowing them for a few weeks or a month, thinking "OMG they left me, they was the one..I'll be forever alone!". Then finding someone else a week later, knowing them a few weeks or a month...etc etc.
Not saying the situation was handled right, But its growing pains of dating. Without experinces like that, no one would ever learn that its not that big a deal, and that its going to happen...a lot...until they do find the right person. its Trial and error, without it you never learn to not stress over the 'error' ones.
So don't fret, if it wasn't you, it would have just been someone else she met that she mentally crushed herself over. You just happen to be there.
-We don't control what happens to us in life, but we control how we respond to what happens in life.
-Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times. -G. Michael Hopf
Disclaimer: Post made by me are of my own creation. A delusional mind relayed in text form.
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Dec 2013 01:59 Post subject: |
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| Nalo wrote: | | Nalo wrote: | | moosenoodles wrote: | | You should not of fucked her u asshole.. |
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Oh btw "not of"... c'mon UK guys! The foreign members here are showing us up with their superior English skills and we can't even get the basics right! |
lyke eet fukin matars... ?
Think that I am bothered you e-dog |
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Nalo
nothing
Posts: 13515
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Dec 2013 02:42 Post subject: |
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Last edited by Nalo on Wed, 3rd Jul 2024 06:22; edited 2 times in total
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MAD_MAX333
Moderator
Posts: 7020
Location: Toronto, Canada...eh
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Dec 2013 05:51 Post subject: |
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Atleast u feel bad so u have a heart and didn't mean to go out of ur way to hurt her. Unfortunate it happened near Christmas. Why not chill with her a bit? U might like her
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Dec 2013 07:22 Post subject: |
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You're just being a man, OP. at least you didn't drag her along too long before any real damage. and on the bonus side you had sex.
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RatKing
Posts: 1212
Location: Nondescript cave in the land of the polar bears, Finland
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| Posted: Mon, 23rd Dec 2013 23:54 Post subject: |
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Has a child at 19 and is single, not a slut. LOL op so clueless.
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| Posted: Tue, 24th Dec 2013 01:01 Post subject: |
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um she lived with the father for a few years, before he went mental. The kid wasnt an accident.
i5-3570k @4.4gHz, MSI GTX 970 GAMING 4g OC'd, MSI z77a-g45, Corsair Vengeance 8gb 1600mHz, Corsair TX650 PSU, Crucial M4 128gb, WD 1.5 TB HDD, Seagate 1TB HDD, LG 27MB85R-B 1440p
RSI name: ctulu
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| Posted: Tue, 24th Dec 2013 11:17 Post subject: |
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Dude, do you believe everything a woman tells you ?
Trust me, you're probably more hurt than she is, she's probably facebook stalking someone else to fuck for the holidays right now.
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| Posted: Tue, 24th Dec 2013 11:41 Post subject: |
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