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DXWarlock
VIP Member
Posts: 11422
Location: Florida, USA
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 Posted: Fri, 19th Jun 2015 11:54 Post subject: The wonderful circle of life. |
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My Father passed away.
He wasnt in the best of health for quite a while, but no amount of knowing it is coming soon, and trying to mentally prepare for it happening actually prepares you for when it comes.
Its like trying to prepare for a 100mph fast ball being thrown at your face. No matter how much you know its coming, when it hits you its so much more than you expected for the pain, and a shock to the system, than you ever realized.
So much happened so quick, From getting called to come to his house, the officers, and funeral home, and calling friends and family to let them know, to having to take his cellphone and spend the rest of the day painfully reliving the news anytime someone called looking for him to let them know...yet it was just a blur that I cant really remember any specific part of it. Just a hazy background buzz of the world around me while I came to the realization of what was going on.
He was finally enjoying life for the first time in a long while. He posted on facebook just a few days ago "My life is going to get a lot better...change is coming". And saw him just the day before he passed, the first time in many months I saw him happy, and looking forward to waking up everyday. Despite all the doctor visits, medications, surgeries, and personal drama he was having, he was finally happy to be alive.
I dont mean to sound cheesy, or cliche with 'words of motivation' here, but really...If you're enjoying life, despite the problems, don't sweat the small stuff. Drama from people you know, or situations you are in, you can still be happy. It was a struggle for him to get to that point, but he proved that what time you have left is far more important to enjoy than the situation you are in.
-We don't control what happens to us in life, but we control how we respond to what happens in life.
-Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times. -G. Michael Hopf
Disclaimer: Post made by me are of my own creation. A delusional mind relayed in text form.
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Waargh
Posts: 6997
Location: hell on earth
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| Posted: Fri, 19th Jun 2015 12:10 Post subject: |
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God bless him, feel your pain. And yes, stay strong.
Today I didn't even need to use my AK. I gotta say it was a good day. (c) - Ice Cube
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| Posted: Fri, 19th Jun 2015 12:34 Post subject: |
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I remember a few conversations about you and your father on teamspeak back some time ago now and I am sure you do to. I hope the last time you saw him was a good one and as you say enjoy the now because it can just change in a blink of an eye.
Keep hold of the truck if you still have it. 
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tonizito
VIP Member
Posts: 51400
Location: Portugal, the shithole of Europe.
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| Posted: Fri, 19th Jun 2015 12:44 Post subject: |
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Sorry for your loss dude 
Dunno, with the last relatives that died on me (grandfather and one of my grandmothers sisters) their death didn't faze me that much, since both were at the term of long and debilitating prolonged diseases.
Dare I say that it was for the best for them, if there's something that scares the living shit out of me is the possibility of spending 2-3 years in a bed, barely conscious, completely depending on others and rarely recognizing your loved ones.
Call me selfish but that's just no way to live, regardless of who you'd still leave behind.
| boundle (thoughts on cracking AITD) wrote: | | i guess thouth if without a legit key the installation was rolling back we are all fucking then |
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Waargh
Posts: 6997
Location: hell on earth
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| Posted: Fri, 19th Jun 2015 12:47 Post subject: |
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my sincere condolences for your loss
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Danyutz
Posts: 4418
Location: Redplanet
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| Posted: Fri, 19th Jun 2015 12:48 Post subject: |
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I'm sorry for your loss, sincere condolences.
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| Posted: Fri, 19th Jun 2015 13:01 Post subject: |
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My condolensces - I lost my mother in a fire 10 years ago and it came to a huge blow as well so I know how it is.
I had a depression that lasted several years after that (it coincided with not finding a job for several years relationship problems + losing close friends which only made it worse) but after that, I learned that life is too short to let other people ruin it for you.
So my advice: stop giving a fuck about others if they have a negative influence on you. If they bring you down, get rid of them or outright tell them. At work too, people who always complain quickly get a response from me telling them to stop fussing about the smallest things and to learn to see things in the bigger picture.
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Morphineus
VIP Member
Posts: 24883
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Fri, 19th Jun 2015 13:24 Post subject: |
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I'm sorry for your loss DX
My condolences, I wish you and your family the best during these difficult times.
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Invasor
Moderator
Posts: 7638
Location: On the road
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| Posted: Fri, 19th Jun 2015 16:34 Post subject: |
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I am sorry for your loss. It's been almost 8 years since I lost my father, and it's a pain that never really goes away, but it gets better with time. Stay strong, but don't be afraid to cry. Send me a PM if you ever feel like venting or anything else...
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Il_Padrino
Posts: 7552
Location: Greece by the North Sea
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DXWarlock
VIP Member
Posts: 11422
Location: Florida, USA
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| Posted: Fri, 19th Jun 2015 17:28 Post subject: |
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Thanks guys, its a lot harder than I thought it would be, even though we knew it wouldn't be long. It was just so sudden, he was back to work, and new girlfriend, and happy....then gone.
Im normally a really stoic person, not big on the emotional side. But this has been so strange to me. From periods of "I got this, I can handle this" most the time...to spurts of just a wash of emotions where I got to stop and sit down and just let it out.
-We don't control what happens to us in life, but we control how we respond to what happens in life.
-Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times. -G. Michael Hopf
Disclaimer: Post made by me are of my own creation. A delusional mind relayed in text form.
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| Posted: Fri, 19th Jun 2015 18:20 Post subject: |
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I'm sorry for your loss. Stay strong.
"Quantum mechanics is actually, contrary to it's reputation, unbeliveably simple, once you take the physics out."
Scott Aaronson | chiv wrote: | | thats true you know. newton didnt discover gravity. the apple told him about it, and then he killed it. the core was never found. |
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ixigia
[Moderator] Consigliere
Posts: 65078
Location: Italy
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| Posted: Sat, 20th Jun 2015 01:32 Post subject: |
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My sincerest condolences to you and your family for your loss  , stay strong DX.
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LuckyStrike
Posts: 1753
Location: Somewhere in the Portuguese Colonial Empire
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| Posted: Sat, 20th Jun 2015 01:37 Post subject: |
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Like you said. Its the circle of life. Ive been preparing for that too, got 3 grandparents alive with 94 - 95 years, and my cat who has been with me for the last 15 years.
This year or the next.. i know i will prob loose them all.
Try to see the good in it, the moments and lessons learned together, and the fact that he lives through you.
My condolences.
| Epsilon wrote: | | Meanwhile the people of that generation will call those guys relics, and not move with the times when everything is auto fucking. |
| EyePatchLives wrote: | | Press X to tame beasts. YOU ARE DA BEASTMASTER!!! |
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| Posted: Sat, 20th Jun 2015 12:46 Post subject: |
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I am really sorry for your loss and I can imagine how you feel. 10 months ago I lost my mother all of a sudden. Still feels absolutely strange to write this, but she died from a heart attack, just two days after I had stayed at her place in my hometown.
When my father and me suddenly got the phonecall of my uncle telling us that she had died, it was just like you describe it: It felt like a 100mph fast ball hitting my face. The time was incredibly hard, I cried like a child every single time on the phone when I had to invite people to her funeral…
At the same time I was unemployed, which made the whole situation worse and just fucking hopeless. For a while I couldn’t manage to apply to jobs, because I had to deal with all the shit. Luckily, one month later I nailed the next job interview and got a new job in my hometown. This year in May, the company fired me because of the company’s bad financial situation. I don’t know, sometimes life just wants to knock you off your feet. Additionally, I never had a girlfriend at age 27 and feel very lonely sometimes, but I guess I have to tough it out a little longer. Find a decent job this time and maybe finally meet a nice girl who likes me, too...
Always remember that your father wants to see you live a happy life. At least that’s the way I try to deal with the pain when it is really bad on some days. Times will get better, the pain will change over time (somehow we learn the live with it…) and I’m sure you have so many good things waiting for you in the future!
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Epsilon
Dr. Strangelove
Posts: 9240
Location: War Room
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| Posted: Sat, 20th Jun 2015 13:15 Post subject: |
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I think Stephen King described it best when he said. "Life is horrible, but it doesn't have to be cruel. But it is."
My condolences, and well wishes.
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| Posted: Sat, 20th Jun 2015 13:17 Post subject: |
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Very sorry to hear you lose your dad.
1 and 2 are still amazing.
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| Posted: Sat, 20th Jun 2015 13:51 Post subject: |
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So sorry for your loss, stay strong man!
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