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 Posted: Sun, 7th May 2017 02:35 Post subject: |
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| red_avatar wrote: |
At the very very least, it's therapeutical to do so - it also helps you figure out what you want and to alleviate doubts. |
 uhmm, OK, lol.
You see this is the trouble nowadays, no one 'speaks', as in, to one another.
One goes out for a meal at a top class restaurant (first making sure they have FREE WiFi), then it begins. What you may ask?, NOTHING!! Couples come and go, eat with their faces in Facebook, and give you one hell of a look if you interrupt them doing so.
I was abroad last week, and 2 girls communicated (by text) over a good meal, not one said a single word to one another. I even said to one of them, "you wanna fuck?" (she was nice looking), and got the usual response, a text with 'up yours!!'.
Facebook is not my thing, or I may have been in with a chance 
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| Posted: Sun, 7th May 2017 06:43 Post subject: |
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You sound like a real charmer
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| Posted: Sun, 7th May 2017 07:26 Post subject: |
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| scaramonga wrote: | | red_avatar wrote: |
At the very very least, it's therapeutical to do so - it also helps you figure out what you want and to alleviate doubts. |
uhmm, OK, lol.
You see this is the trouble nowadays, no one 'speaks', as in, to one another.
One goes out for a meal at a top class restaurant (first making sure they have FREE WiFi), then it begins. What you may ask?, NOTHING!! Couples come and go, eat with their faces in Facebook, and give you one hell of a look if you interrupt them doing so.
I was abroad last week, and 2 girls communicated (by text) over a good meal, not one said a single word to one another. I even said to one of them, "you wanna fuck?" (she was nice looking), and got the usual response, a text with 'up yours!!'.
Facebook is not my thing, or I may have been in with a chance |
There is a lot of truth to what your saying. I've even found even with close friends, get 3-4 of them in a room and 40-50% of the time they are on their phone with Reddit / not conversing (if you take them out somewhere dinner, bar, make that 10-20%). I consciously put a lot of effort into getting everyone communicating.
I've heard a few horror stories of millennials in their early 20's that just don't leave their bedroom.
Regards the OP and some comments here. I'm presuming some are aged from mid-early 20's. That post about the timestamps / chat with girl, correct response is to click "go offline" and stop giving this girl entertainment at your expense. The only way your gong to pull any respect from this girl is to forget about her and find better shit / people to do... at your discretion but personally if she comes back because your not flipping out giving her attention (Good chance she will do that) you really should be the better man, ignore your dick, and reject her.
seriously that cliche "im an idiot and fuck things by being a nice guy"  may or may not be the case, but my experience girls absolutely fucking hate guys revolving their life around pleasing them.. put yourself in their shoes, would you find that stuff attractive?
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| Posted: Sun, 7th May 2017 14:45 Post subject: |
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| Stormwolf wrote: | | You sound like a real charmer |
Coming from you Kenny, that's gold....! 
| scaramonga wrote: | | red_avatar wrote: |
At the very very least, it's therapeutical to do so - it also helps you figure out what you want and to alleviate doubts. |
uhmm, OK, lol.
You see this is the trouble nowadays, no one 'speaks', as in, to one another.
One goes out for a meal at a top class restaurant (first making sure they have FREE WiFi), then it begins. What you may ask?, NOTHING!! Couples come and go, eat with their faces in Facebook, and give you one hell of a look if you interrupt them doing so.
I was abroad last week, and 2 girls communicated (by text) over a good meal, not one said a single word to one another. I even said to one of them, "you wanna fuck?" (she was nice looking), and got the usual response, a text with 'up yours!!'.
Facebook is not my thing, or I may have been in with a chance |
So wait, they were communicating, just not verbally. I don't see anything to get upset about then. The problem would have been, in my opinion, if there were no communication at all.
Maybe they were deaf... |
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shimec
Posts: 1215
Location: Serbia
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| Posted: Mon, 8th May 2017 15:19 Post subject: |
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Why are you so insecure? Do you have a micropenis?
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| Posted: Mon, 8th May 2017 15:24 Post subject: |
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@shimec
Don't worry about it, worst case scenario she says no and that's it.
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shimec
Posts: 1215
Location: Serbia
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| Posted: Mon, 8th May 2017 19:04 Post subject: |
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Yeah, she said no right now.
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Invasor
Moderator
Posts: 7638
Location: On the road
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| Posted: Mon, 8th May 2017 19:25 Post subject: |
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It's probably because you didn't make a move... but no worries, just move on.
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shimec
Posts: 1215
Location: Serbia
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| Posted: Mon, 8th May 2017 23:04 Post subject: |
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Who knows. She said that she had a good time with me as well, but that she would like it to stay at that.
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| Posted: Tue, 9th May 2017 02:41 Post subject: |
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| shimec wrote: | | Who knows. She said that she had a good time with me as well, but that she would like it to stay at that. |
Funny, she said the same to me tonight also?
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shimec
Posts: 1215
Location: Serbia
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Jun 2017 21:14 Post subject: |
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So, it's been a month since we broke up and honestly I am not sure if I feel much better. Yeah, the crushing pain did go away a bit and I can go most of the day without much pain, but I feel very sad. Some days I feel good and than I am hit with so much sadness, others I am mostly sad with patches of good mood in between. I didn't even try to go to another date with anyone since that first week. I am not contacting my ex, but she did contact me couple of times out of the blue. Once about how lonely she feels and how she's not feeling good about anything (geting into Uni, out break up, her ex before me getting married to her former best friend...). I just gave her "pat on the back" talk.
I've lost all interest in most of the things. My day is composed from work and going into gym, jogg or some other kind of workout. I've lost 5-6kg in last month only. I don't feel like doing things I liked doing before (playing games, reading, watching movies, etc...).
We saw each other couple of times. Since we both live in small town, on our nights out we mostly go to same bar, and of course every time I went there with friends she was there. I even think that she's been going into this bar much more since we broke up. It is my favourite bar for last 10 or so years so I do have priority, don't I?  Last weekend she even posted on insta-story that she's there, like she was calling me to come. Too bad I saw her story only a day later
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Jun 2017 21:19 Post subject: |
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| shimec wrote: | So, it's been a month since we broke up and honestly I am not sure if I feel much better. Yeah, the crushing pain did go away a bit and I can go most of the day without much pain, but I feel very sad. Some days I feel good and than I am hit with so much sadness, others I am mostly sad with patches of good mood in between. I didn't even try to go to another date with anyone since that first week. I am not contacting my ex, but she did contact me couple of times out of the blue. Once about how lonely she feels and how she's not feeling good about anything (geting into Uni, out break up, her ex before me getting married to her former best friend...). I just gave her "pat on the back" talk.
I've lost all interest in most of the things. My day is composed from work and going into gym, jogg or some other kind of workout. I've lost 5-6kg in last month only. I don't feel like doing things I liked doing before (playing games, reading, watching movies, etc...).
We saw each other couple of times. Since we both live in small town, on our nights out we mostly go to same bar, and of course every time I went there with friends she was there. I even think that she's been going into this bar much more since we broke up. It is my favourite bar for last 10 or so years so I do have priority, don't I? Last weekend she even posted on insta-story that she's there, like she was calling me to come. Too bad I saw her story only a day later |
don't fall for this shit man. first delete her of instagram and other social media stuff and second stop going to places where she is. you WANT to see her and clearly want her back but this will not work out for you. doesn't matter if its your favorite bar, search a new one. don't take it as a excuse to see her.
even if you get back together she will dump you again and you will get fucked up even more.
FORGET HER even if it takes alot of more time.
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shimec
Posts: 1215
Location: Serbia
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| Posted: Fri, 2nd Jun 2017 00:53 Post subject: |
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Ahhh i envy you actually.... i used to feel WAAAAYYY worse than you describe, maybe not, but i did, some here would remember, after years and years sometimes it still hits me, specially since stuff happened these last years.
But yea, its a bad feeling, i got over it kind of. Keep your head high, you will find someone else and maybe you will re-live it again But hey, its good, makes us human, makes us stronger a lil bit.
Now im totally cool with everything since i kind of did everything i wanted to do once before, failed too. Im pretty happy with my life right now, looking back, it was sad, funny and a good experience. You wont regret it some years later.
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shimec
Posts: 1215
Location: Serbia
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| Posted: Fri, 2nd Jun 2017 20:04 Post subject: |
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How about working out a bit in the mornings? Put some youtube video up and start with stretches.
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Roach_666
Posts: 1299
Location: Hell in its Alpha Build
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Jun 2017 00:29 Post subject: |
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@shimec,
Mornings are harder because when we first wake up (generally, in the morning), our cortisol is higher than in the rest of the day.
Source (at 2.13):
 Spoiler: | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQJcVaWgCnA |
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shimec
Posts: 1215
Location: Serbia
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| Posted: Mon, 19th Jun 2017 09:52 Post subject: |
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Guys, I have a feeling that things are getting worse as time passes by. Lately I started losing all interrest in almost everything that I liked doing before and during relationship. I don't feel much pain lately, but my mood is really affected. I hardly can feel happy with anything, I just go through my life doing daily things like work and gym, but anything else doesn't really matter. I went abroad couple of weeks ago with friends and I didn't feel like I enjoyed it.
Yesterday would be our first anniversary. I went to market to buy some things and to go and hang out with friends. And there I saw her again. I felt really devastated seeing her. I am still losing weight, I am on 12,5 kg lost it 1,5 months. Friends tell me I look good now, but I don't really feel good. I still can fake it most of the time, smile and make fun with people around me, but when I am alone I feel destroyed. I am fearing the future, I am thinking about past and how good it was and how could that change in matter of weeks or month.
Morning are still bad. Today I was on brink of hyperventilating. I had to keep myself thinking about breaths to keep them deep and long.
I am aware that some real future with this girl would be hard or impossible.
Also, I am not been able to cry althougj I feel sad. Sometimes I am on brink of crying, but simply cannot burst into tears. I am still keeping no contact with her, although she reacheas out to me from time to time.
Last edited by shimec on Mon, 19th Jun 2017 10:03; edited 1 time in total
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| Posted: Mon, 19th Jun 2017 09:56 Post subject: |
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I suggest you get a job and move away from your parents. Then you will not have time to be bothered by this teenage shit.
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tonizito
VIP Member
Posts: 51442
Location: Portugal, the shithole of Europe.
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| Posted: Mon, 19th Jun 2017 10:49 Post subject: |
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If it's that bad think about getting some professional help, seriously.
| boundle (thoughts on cracking AITD) wrote: | | i guess thouth if without a legit key the installation was rolling back we are all fucking then |
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shimec
Posts: 1215
Location: Serbia
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| Posted: Mon, 19th Jun 2017 11:03 Post subject: |
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I did think about that, but I am bit affraid and I don't know what kind of help to expect.
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tonizito
VIP Member
Posts: 51442
Location: Portugal, the shithole of Europe.
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| Posted: Mon, 19th Jun 2017 11:06 Post subject: |
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Afraid of what? Other people think less of you for it?
If that's the case, fuck them.
Don't risk your mental and eventually physical health just because a relationship ended, dude.
See a psychiatrist/psychologist (it's one of these two but I always mix them up  Someone on the next posts should point out the right one  )
| boundle (thoughts on cracking AITD) wrote: | | i guess thouth if without a legit key the installation was rolling back we are all fucking then |
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Nui
VIP Member
Posts: 5720
Location: in a place with fluffy towels
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| Posted: Mon, 19th Jun 2017 11:19 Post subject: |
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I think one of them is allowed to give you pills, the other isn't.
I'd say keep doing what you are doing, it seems you keep up your routine, and still head out with friends and try new things, that all sounds like healthy behaviour to me. Maybe try talking with some of your friends, you don't have to open all the way up, maybe just tell them you have a hard time recovering from a break up. You'd be surprised, some of my seemingly most hard-shelled friends had some good advice too, and it stops you from feeling so isolated.
It'll get better with time.
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| Posted: Mon, 19th Jun 2017 11:46 Post subject: |
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Psychiatrist is a medical doctor, he threats your issues using the same concepts as regular doctors (i.e. symptomes, therapy, medicines).
Psychologist talks the shit out of you until you snap out of the problem yourself. It's a different science (basically social, vs medicine as natural science).
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shimec
Posts: 1215
Location: Serbia
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| Posted: Mon, 19th Jun 2017 12:00 Post subject: |
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I've been talking with sister the most lately as she is closest to her in age and is same sex after all. She's actually giving me hope about outcome of all this. Friends are still out of the question to talk most of the times.
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| Posted: Mon, 19th Jun 2017 12:28 Post subject: |
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| Xenthalon wrote: | I think one of them is allowed to give you pills, the other isn't.
I'd say keep doing what you are doing, it seems you keep up your routine, and still head out with friends and try new things, that all sounds like healthy behaviour to me. Maybe try talking with some of your friends, you don't have to open all the way up, maybe just tell them you have a hard time recovering from a break up. You'd be surprised, some of my seemingly most hard-shelled friends had some good advice too, and it stops you from feeling so isolated.
It'll get better with time. |
I think this is good advice, it's your call on professional services although I think they seriously over-prescribe, life has its ups and downs and your not supposed to be happy 24/7 I would say most of my biggest accomplishments have come from being extremely depressed, pissed off and using that to motivate change. Anti-depressants to avoid the down-times isn't healthy (had lots of friends stuck in this pitfall for a long time, its very hard to get off them).
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