From what Hollywood does best (big, dumb, good films) to what Hollywood does the worst (big, dumb, bad films)... Shame on the people involved.
TWIN PEAKS is "something of a miracle."
"...like nothing else on television."
"a phenomenon."
"A tangled tale of sex, violence, power, junk food..."
"Like Nothing On Earth"
Other than having plenty moments of disinterest and at the end a feeling like you could have spend time on something more entertaining... no, no harm will be done.
I am watching ID4 2 and how the fuck did this film get made??????
Look at this shit!!!
What in the actual FUCK!!! Was this film made for BLIND people??????
And of course the most offending shots are missing from their reel!
Not that any of their shots look believable. They all look bad and fake.
What a shame to shoot more than half of the film (by the looks of it) in front of bluescreen and have it looking worse than its 20 year old predecessor.
TWIN PEAKS is "something of a miracle."
"...like nothing else on television."
"a phenomenon."
"A tangled tale of sex, violence, power, junk food..."
"Like Nothing On Earth"
Alien Covenant 7/10 awesome visuals, mediocre acting and screenplay
I mean, yes, you are almost right, but Fassbender's acting was *perfect* and I didn't see you making that distinction. Please correct yourself! Fass' mere presence to a scene, was more evocative than 10 lines by the other actors.
TWIN PEAKS is "something of a miracle."
"...like nothing else on television."
"a phenomenon."
"A tangled tale of sex, violence, power, junk food..."
"Like Nothing On Earth"
I was laughing all the time. I think it was an intentional bad movie, really. The crew of Covenant was plain stupid, they are progressively dumber and dumber with each new movie.
Spoiler:
How she didn't noticed that David cut his hand off, she even clearly looked at it while Walter's hand was burned off
.
I think it should be a cult classic B movie in a couple of years.
sar·casm | \ ˈsär-ˌka-zəm \
1: a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain
2a: a mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on bitter, caustic, and often ironic language that is usually directed against an individual
b: the use or language of sarcasm
Alien Covenant 7/10 awesome visuals, mediocre acting and screenplay
I mean, yes, you are almost right, but Fassbender's acting was *perfect* and I didn't see you making that distinction. Please correct yourself! Fass' mere presence to a scene, was more evocative than 10 lines by the other actors.
Fass was, like Prometheus, the best part of Covenant. Everything else has been an abortion of logic and script writing its an insult to the once-great franchise of the 70s and 80s.
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Worst Alien movie by far. I'd go as far as to say it's not worth watching at all. Save yourself 2 hours, seriously. It's like they took all the worst parts of Prometheus and enhanced them, while at the same time removing almost anything that was good - even cinematography was substantially better in that one. Pretentious, horribly written, so-so acted wreck of a movie that won't stop insulting your intelligence right until the very end.
i watched alien condiment again (my father wanted to watch it)
first thing outa his mouth was 'why arent they wearing any breathing apparatus'
well i lie, first words were 'oh jeez, these people are real idiots', but whatever
also there was plenty of scoffing as we went, and possibly a face palm at some point.
anyway, rewatching the film i was able to better assemble in my mind what david was all about, and some of the creator subtext, which ill admit makes for a slightly more interesting story, but i think thats usually the case with most movies and what happens when you rewatch them - you generally do pick up on things you didnt the first time, so that was nice. i can give the movie an extra point for slightly better and more interesting ideas than i originally thought.
HOWEVER
its a double edged sword. rewatching this fucking turd made me realise that the annoying shit i thought was annoying the first time around, was actually waaaaay more fucking annoying than i initially gave the film credit for. If you think the characters and scenarios were stupid the first time around, a second watch will let you 'appreciate' that shit on an entirely different level. Shit i didnt even notice was so dumb becomes clearer, failings in basic character development and storytelling become much more noticeable, and even though i only just praised it for having slightly more ideas than i first thought, that TOO becomes annoying because you realize it has some cool ideas that it never develops or does anything very interesting to justify its 2 hour run time. Its narrative depth is but a tiny fish in a big-ass ocean.
so, in summary, watching the film again made me appreciate it a little more, but hate it twice as much.
yeah im of two minds myself. on the one hand its scifi, and the more practical aspects of this kinda stuff get in the way of the storytelling which is why i mostly accept it for what it is - a plot device to drive the film.
that said, i dont recall any part of the film where the showed any concern for environmental hazards on a strange planet with unknown dangers.. for supposedly highly trained explorers who have a duty to thousands of people, you would expect them to be more than casual yahoos who seem woefully unskilled and ignorant of such things.
would it really have been so difficult to insert a 10 second sequence where someone says 'humans obviously sent that message so the environment must be perfectly safe'... lazy, sure, but.. at least give me some reason to think they gave half a shit about saftey
that said, i dont recall any part of the film where the showed any concern for environmental hazards on a strange planet with unknown dangers.. for supposedly highly trained explorers who have a duty to thousands of people, you would expect them to be more than casual yahoos who seem woefully unskilled and ignorant of such things.
It's because this wasn't an Alien movie. It was Australia the Beginnings were they send - in their mind - the worst scum on Earth into Space Australia for them to die. No training, most people are dumbest in their fields, some are bigots or think of others as bigots (like the second captain) or are gay (which was a big focus in the movie apparently).
This movie, just... I can't even start. I enjoyed the stupidity and the afterthought how this possibly was made and coming to a conclusion that this is not a scifi horror epic but intentional tibute to B movie horrors of 80s. I can't explain it otherwise but it hits all the marks. Now going to watch something worthwhile that is - The Girl With All the Gifts.
Valerian - 2/10 - what a terrible, terrible movie. I'm probably too harsh with my score, but the world they created is so beautiful it's a goddamn shame almost everything else is crap. You know what the story is? A fucking cliche told in a ten minute info dump towards the end. The twist, the one everyone should see coming the moment Clive Owen shows up, is so fucking cliche it hurts. Action was a mess and I believe there was actually one proper action scene in the whole movie. I don't remember ever being bored while watching a scifi movie, this movie is the first. I began thinking "please god let the androgynous hippie fuckers be evil and kill everyone". It reminded me of Jupiter Ascending, looks beautiful but in the end it's barely average. This one is much worse.
The biggest twist for me personally is how good a job cara delevingne did, she gave a natural performance. The guy was horrible, unbelievable how that boring charisma-devoid monotone sounding fuck got the role
The crew couldn't wear any helmets because it was required for the plot to move on, which makes it even dumber
Sure, but horror movies rarely have smart people in the lead roles though, so these mistakes are very expected for the genre. The core plot is usually about people making (stupid) mistakes, and the key elements here are the same as always, just switched around a bit.
he just wanted something that would make prometheus look retroactively better, and have people come away from watching alien 5 saying 'you know what? prometheus wasnt THAT bad after all'.
- They establish that Oram didn't get the captain's cap because he is religious but that has nothing to do with the rest of the film. Just fucking say he is stupid but in future due to social justice retards have to have a chance in any job.
- There is an accident early in the movie when they establish that they shouldn't endanger the rest of the colonist but it doesn't contradict using live ammo on a space ship in space and risk catastrophic depressurization of the ship or fire.
- The crew embark on the planet without any kind of enviro suit. When in Prometheus they were pretty careful and even before taking the helmets off, they asked David if the air doesn't have any contamination. Here just fuck it.
- A guy gets infected and clearly looks sick but that bitch doesn't really care about it, until he starts to bleed and...
- A crew, implicitly, trained to colonize a new probably slightly hostile planet don't know if they should make a quarantine or not for a guy infected by unknown pathogen. Fuuuuuuuuuu...
- Run away from some shit killing your crew mates because you are scared as shit, just to come back in another scene with a shotgun just to comically slip on blood.
- The proto-alien is bullet proof when fucking being riddled with bullets but gets killed when one idiot shoots him a couple of times.
- You are pretty chill when you find a dog tags on an alien ship. No reason to make a fuss of it. Just a plot point connecting to the previous movie.
- You are pretty chill and ok when entering a necoropolis filled with thousand of corpses.
- You are an obidient android who finds out that you just met a faulty decommisioned model of android but don't feel like telling it to the rest of the crew, because being a new version, you are kind of moron too.
- You are not slightly suspisious of that sole survivor android who behaves like asshole.
- You instantly forget that there is a creature that tried to kill you a couple of hours ago and just do the horror trope of separating.
- A lot and I mean a lot of homo erotic and phallic analogies.
- I hope there are different rooms that David occupies, one when he plays his flute and other with his experiments.
- Oram is just one stupid motherfucker.
- When you infect a person with facehugger you just slav squat there and throw stones on his body because it's a serious movie.
- When Alien burst from chest, while fucking the establish canon of worm\chrysalis phase it, makes this stupid pose you mimic.
- Again do the horror trope of separating.
- Kiss the other android to distract him.
- The new Alien is indestructible homage to first Alien and lift off engines do shit to him.
- Just rip off the last fight from your first film but make it more dull (but still prettyyyyy).
- Never ever in the movie notice that your android get his hand burned off and the pretender clearly cut his hand off. Even if you look at the hand and the movie telegraphs it by making a close up on the cut off hand.
- Be an android and predict that a colony ship will take orbit above your planet and send down a bunch of idiots, who you will have to rescue, then experiment on them and later fight with your doppelganger so you would prepare a embrios with tiny facehugger that will fit in your guts.
- Be a starship AI that can detect alien life forms but can't detect different model of android.
- David clearly wasn't a single model so there had to be other "Davids" with superiority complex.
- Also telling people that androids who create were making people uncomfortable is lazy writing.
- The counter felattio shower scene.
Fuck this movie
Additonaly why not ditch the Alien plot and make it as was previously planned about David revolting against his/its creators and tie it in nicely to Blade Runner, as it suppose to share the (cinematic) universe and thus explain why androids have predefined life span and are hunted. With little nods like the church of David were androids would prise him as the first of the free.
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Fass' mere presence to a scene, was more evocative than 10 lines by the other actors. 
I wish the story was more interesting though..
then one realizes.. its a tragedy. 
