The last watched movie.
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h0rnyfavn
Serial Humper



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PostPosted: Fri, 10th Nov 2017 15:22    Post subject:
@Morphineus

She is bisexual. Very Happy


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thudo




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PostPosted: Fri, 10th Nov 2017 16:04    Post subject:
No..XENO-sexual!!!!! Fuck Yeah


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Morphineus
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PostPosted: Fri, 10th Nov 2017 17:08    Post subject:
h0rnyfavn wrote:
@Morphineus

She is bisexual. Very Happy


Oh okay, last time I heard her say something about it she used the word Lesbian. So have at it boys, a person with resting bitch face, cunt personality and can't make up her mind what she is attracted to... sounds like a winner. Poker Face





Edit: Watched the movie today... 3/10

What a dumb movie filled with unlikeable characters who all have this look like they are miserable (yes not only the two main ones). Some stuff looked nice, others looked cheap. Waste of money/potential... then again doubt you could do anything with the crappy story.

There was a pretty funny moment: Ethan Hawke says something like "How long can I keep doing this"... I burst out in laughter because I imagined it wasn't a line from the script :>


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JiGSaW
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Posts: 4196

PostPosted: Sat, 11th Nov 2017 01:53    Post subject:
The Snowman - 6/10

Meh, the story is a big mess. Why the hell was Val Kilmer in the movie? His face doesn't look right and his voice was a terrible voice-over Laughing

 Spoiler:
 
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chiv




Posts: 27530
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PostPosted: Sat, 11th Nov 2017 02:35    Post subject:
i watched that uhh.. acts of vengeance movie with banderas

theres one picture that i feel sums up this movie quite well...
 Spoiler:
 


the art department wrote some content at the start... and then i assume used some lorem ipsum generator to pad out the rest. and i noticed it without even trying like 3 or 4 times throughout the movie. And thats this movie in a nutshell... a little bit of effort, and then 'meh, fuck it'.

and no, this wasnt just a quick flash across the screen that i snagged, this newspaper clipping was the sole focus of a slow pan.. shit i even saw gibberish on txts a character was looking at on his phone.. they couldnt even enter 5 or 6 lines of SOMETHING.. ive never seen anything like this in an actual film before.

the fights are pretty good, and its shot pretty well, but the story is barely there, not interesting, no real impact, just a complete non-event. They bring in some.. i would say pretty well known actors (banderas, karl urban), and then let them phone it in with crappy performances and shallow pointless characters. A shiny surface over a hollow experience.

I find myself wondering if banderas can even do solemn characters anymore (if he ever could).. the last time i liked him in a film was when he was playing an over the top twitchy nutter in that shitty expendables film, and that roll was PERFECT for him... but in this film, he seemed so awkward. i hope it was only because he knew he could get away with not giving a shit and just giving the minimal amount of effort just to cash the cheque

the epitome of harmless but forgettable filmmaking.


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h0rnyfavn
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Posts: 13880

PostPosted: Sat, 11th Nov 2017 08:33    Post subject:
@Morphineus
Quote:
last time I heard her say something about it she used the word Lesbian.


The last time I heard about it she wasn't happy that people tried to pigeonhole her and label her a lesbian or claiming that her being bisexual was just a phase.

Quote:
can't make up her mind what she is attracted to


That's a rather primitive view on bisexuality Laughing


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Ankh




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PostPosted: Sat, 11th Nov 2017 10:05    Post subject:
Gymkata - /10


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chiv




Posts: 27530
Location: Behind You...
PostPosted: Sat, 11th Nov 2017 11:26    Post subject:
Wind river...

Whooooo boy... A solid hour long movie stretched into a slow 100 minute slog. Just so much slow ponderous pretentious fluff that didn't contribute anything substantial to the presentation.

The ending was nice...
 Spoiler:
 
I'm glad they at last paid off all the stuff that came before, so credit for that at least

Story was relatively predictable, which wasn't necessarily a problem, it's just that it was so uninspired and so uninteresting, generic and just dull... the telling of this story could have... SHOULD have, been told a lot better.

Finally, this film has convinced me that Olsen is just a terrible actress.


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Waargh




Posts: 6997
Location: hell on earth
PostPosted: Sat, 11th Nov 2017 11:36    Post subject:
todd72173 wrote:
Valerian: 8/10: Great movie. Very innovative. Unique story. Great visuals. Hot girl. Recommend


this


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chiv




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PostPosted: Sat, 11th Nov 2017 11:41    Post subject:
speedgear wrote:
LESBIANS Mr. Green


this


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madmax17




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PostPosted: Sat, 11th Nov 2017 12:27    Post subject:
Hot girl she's a model after all, acting is like a side thingy.
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Morphineus
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PostPosted: Sat, 11th Nov 2017 16:50    Post subject:
h0rnyfavn wrote:
That's a rather primitive view on bisexuality Laughing


The reason why there is also a poker face... Just joking with it because the guys being so into her. Razz We'll see what she ends up being, other than an uninteresting person trying hard to be looked at other than just a model. Cool Face


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h0rnyfavn
Serial Humper



Posts: 13880

PostPosted: Sat, 11th Nov 2017 20:31    Post subject:
Valerian .. (2017)

5+/10

Well, it was a typical soulless Luc Besson's post-Leon mediocre crap.

We got a crappy and boring story, a crappy setting, a sexy but talentless (so far) model,a talented dude whose talent is wasted on this crap (he really should keep doing films like A Cure for Wellness instead of this pos) + some pretty good scenes (the show with the shapeshifting girl was great)


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Ankh




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PostPosted: Sat, 11th Nov 2017 22:52    Post subject:
h0rnyfavn wrote:
Valerian .. (2017)

5+/10

Well, it was a typical soulless Luc Besson's post-Leon mediocre crap.

We got a crappy and boring story, a crappy setting, a sexy but talentless (so far) model,a talented dude whose talent is wasted on this crap (he really should keep doing films like A Cure for Wellness instead of this pos) + some pretty good scenes (the show with the shapeshifting girl was great)


The CGI was awsome - unfortunatly many new films seem to belive that its the cgi/visuals that makes the movie and not the story
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ixigia
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PostPosted: Sat, 11th Nov 2017 23:59    Post subject:
Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets - Luc Besson pls/10

The two leads were clearly a terrible mistake, whoever was responsible for the dialogues and script/adaptation was also a giant mistake, Rihanna was the cherry on top of the stinky valerian jelly pie, that ending closed the circle.

And to think that there is some good too (very Razz) hidden beneath the trash, the CGI as already mentioned, the design of some of the aliens, environments and cities are actually inspired and almost Star Wars-esque, but when everything else simply isn't up to the task and the protagonists are capable of forming one of the most unlikable duos ever seen, then there isn't much to do. From Leon and The Fifth Element to this, from Taken to Taken 2/3, passing through stuff like Lucy, maybe it would be wise for ol' Luc to hire a quality control team..just in case.

@Horny: yeah, Dane DeHaan positively surprised me too in A Cure For Wellness, he was believable and fitted the role, whereas here...damn he was abysmal. He managed to be worse than Delevingne, not an easy task Cool Face Laughing
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chiv




Posts: 27530
Location: Behind You...
PostPosted: Sun, 12th Nov 2017 12:49    Post subject:
Valerian

I'll just quote what I said in the other thread

Quote:

It was ok. Not bad, not great, but very strange. Something feels so off about its construction, and it desperately feels like it needs editing, and someone a lot better at writing dialog. There were moments were it was exactly what I was hoping it was going to be, a grand colourful space opera... but far too often it feels like things are too muddled and don't flow naturally or smoothly. Also I found the "look" of it to be a bit inconsistent. The bit at the start with the bus and the bit outside the big bazaar in particular felt visually at odds with the rest of the film.. a schizophrenic film, I would say.

The two leads as well... man, I'm not sure. At times their chemistry was really cringy, and other times it worked. Sometimes their line delivery was awkward and amateur, and other times it felt natural and enjoyable.

A weird film I couldn't quite wrap my head around why it felt so off at times.

Odd, charming, cringy, awkward, grand, colourful, dumb, lazy, stunning. I feel these words ultimately sum up this weird, enjoyable but frustratingly forgettable film. I can only imagine what this could have been if besson was on form... or had the help he needed to fix the films shortcomings.


Ultimately I'll add that no matter how uncomfortably "off" it felt at times, I still mostly had fun with it. It was a hell of a lot better than stupid ass windy river or whatever that movie was called.. Better than pirates 5, or mummy or some of the other major sci fi/fantasy/action films that came out this year... but it's no 5th element... It lacks the magic a film like this needs to become a classic.


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Areius




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PostPosted: Sun, 12th Nov 2017 13:54    Post subject: *****
*****


Last edited by Areius on Fri, 19th Sep 2025 16:23; edited 1 time in total
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h0rnyfavn
Serial Humper



Posts: 13880

PostPosted: Sun, 12th Nov 2017 14:52    Post subject:
Anti Matter (2016)

8/10

A surprisingly good little indie sci-fi flick. I've enjoyed it.I wish it had a bit more interesting and complex story though and a proper budget..


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Ampee




Posts: 1986

PostPosted: Sun, 12th Nov 2017 15:54    Post subject:
Morphineus wrote:
Nah, not maybe she is one. Razz


How do you know that?
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Aeon




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Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Sun, 12th Nov 2017 20:22    Post subject:
Wonder Woman
5.5/10


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todd72173




Posts: 2403

PostPosted: Sun, 12th Nov 2017 20:50    Post subject:
brawl in cell block 99
8/9: Wow! Great film! Not expecting much but was pleasantly suprised. Might be VInce Vaughn at his finest! Great acting..Full of bone breaking face smashing decapitations gore gallore! Go see this one!


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Morphineus
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PostPosted: Sun, 12th Nov 2017 21:24    Post subject:
Ampee wrote:
Morphineus wrote:
Nah, not maybe she is one. Razz


How do you know that?


If you'd read my post after it you'd know! Quite magical ey! Laughing

To save you the trouble: Some interview I saw of her she used the 'label' Lesbian. Apparently that is out of date since now she decided she doesn't like labels and the world should stop using the label she used herself or she will get a hissyfit. Razz


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PumpAction
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PostPosted: Mon, 13th Nov 2017 01:14    Post subject:
todd72173 wrote:
brawl in cell block 99
8/9: Wow! Great film! Not expecting much but was pleasantly suprised. Might be VInce Vaughn at his finest! Great acting..Full of bone breaking face smashing decapitations gore gallore! Go see this one!

I really liked Bone Tomahawk and the tiny bit of gore that was in it was absolutely gruesome. Great news Twisted Evil


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chiv




Posts: 27530
Location: Behind You...
PostPosted: Mon, 13th Nov 2017 10:21    Post subject:
Atomica

I feel like the revelation.. the finale, wasn't worth the 70 minutes of not much that came before it. There needed to be more mystery, more uncertainty, to keep the tension burning I think. The revelation WAS interesting however, just not quite big enough and maybe happened a bit too fast? Like all of a sudden they could get their ideas and plot points out fast enough, in stark contrast to the preceding hour of not much happening.

I think this would have made for a fantastic twilight zone style show episode, or as part of a scifi short film anthology, because a shorter runtime would have suited much better.

CREDIT to the film, however, for having one of the only examples of characters
 Spoiler:
 


I also liked the ending too.


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Frant
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PostPosted: Mon, 13th Nov 2017 16:27    Post subject:
Blade of the Immortal: 5/10

It's a bloody Takashi Miike movie and it's an uneven samurai vengeance movie with japanese fantasy elements.


Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

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chiv




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PostPosted: Mon, 13th Nov 2017 22:12    Post subject:
im hoping i enjoy it more than you did. i know miikes movies are fucking weird as shit... like.. putting a dead frog on your head and calling it a hat kinda weird, but a period samurai fantasy murder-party.. was kinda hoping it'd be fun..


screamers: the hunting.

first screamers was actually pretty good. this one was.. lazy. nonsensical, predictable (ill admit the only surprise was guessing wrong in thinking a particular person was a screamer.. but in my defense, they red herring'd my ass with clues from the first film - but i got every other one right!)

the deaths werent great, everyone died like a fucking fool.. it wasnt too offensive or unwatchable, but not a great effort. imdb claims theyre making a third one.. and im down with that. hope it gets completed. I mean shit, if they can make that god awful third starship troopers movie, i cant see why the universe cant find its way to making a third screamers one.


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The_Zeel




Posts: 14922

PostPosted: Mon, 13th Nov 2017 22:16    Post subject:
Miike is one of the most active and most random directors on the planet, you never know what you're about to see when it comes to his movies, especially the 90s and early 2000s stuff.

I recommend watching Dead or Alive, Audition, Zebraman, Full Metal Gokudo and finally Visitor Q, for a fresh cup of wtf. Laughing

With all of his relatively mainstream anime and game adaptations like Ace Attorney and Yakuza it really makes his portfolio even more confusing.


EDIT: Shit, blade of the immortal is his 100th directed film

EDIT2: Now i got a really fucked up idea of a Takashi Miike marathon, all 100 movies in one sitting with minimal sleep allowed, not even chronologically, but in random order. It's basically a battle royale, whoever is left alive and/or without self-mutilation, "wins" Laughing
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chiv




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PostPosted: Tue, 14th Nov 2017 10:30    Post subject:
Nope. Noooope nope nope nope nope nope nope.

50 minutes into annabelle 2... It's so emasculating... Why are little girls in horror movies so much braver than me. Honestly, the first innocent door squeak and I'd have said nope, fuck this, I'm out, and run my ass out of there. Jesus christ, little girl, BE MORE AFRAID.

Right, back in I go.. Let's see what more horrors this little fucking girl will shrug off while I pull up the covers over my head.


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chiv




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PostPosted: Tue, 14th Nov 2017 10:43    Post subject:
Jesus fucking christ, kid, it's night and there's a creepy doll on a rocking chair... AND ITS MOVING, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING INTO THAT ROOM.

I Just can't take this.


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chiv




Posts: 27530
Location: Behind You...
PostPosted: Tue, 14th Nov 2017 10:45    Post subject:
CLOSE THE DOOR CLOSE THE DOOR CLOSE THE DOOR FUCKING CLOSE THE FUCKING DOOR


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