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 Posted: Mon, 27th Jan 2020 04:32 Post subject: Moody |
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I had a huge post but i deleted it, im just bored, moody, sad.
Need new people to enjoy my hobby, need to move with the wife in us, need to start making a game or software, need to call friends, need to stop being lazy. Life after college SUUUUCK, i think i overdid everything i enjoyed now i dont enjoy shit
Fuck me
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| Posted: Mon, 27th Jan 2020 05:31 Post subject: |
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meetups, sound like a hooker site lol, not sure the wife will appreciate that haha
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| Posted: Tue, 28th Jan 2020 01:17 Post subject: |
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Early 30s.... i started the deleted post saying life doesnt have a good route after college, work is heavy, routines change, free time is a luxury, friends move on. etc etc.
Yeah...... College and school were fun and i had fun working hard, i got a top position where i am, im economically ok, saving and enjoying what i never had, peace and savings. But ive gotten bored of games, series, anime, i cant enjoy them as much. Drifting has turned to shit, since the people running the show have created an extremely toxic enviroment, so hobby is semi fucked.
I think being alone, playing games constantly and being holed up at the house has really affected me.
I miss friends, wife, nice enviroments. But that will be back soon i guess, ill just focus on learning stuff to have a good start in the US, engine building (like it, fun, money pit but ill help others then), engine tuning, maybe start a unity game to see whats up with that and make some helpful software to keep me entertained.
But fucking hell, adult life needs to change, i pity the japanese people who have that insane culture of work, i would have killed myself or left a long time ago. i dont have it as bad as many but holy shit no wonder people get lost after college. I know what i can and have to do but its really a tough change all around.
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| Posted: Sun, 16th Feb 2020 20:31 Post subject: |
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Maybe you're depressed and you need to see a psychologist? That's what I get from your posts.
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| Posted: Sun, 16th Feb 2020 23:54 Post subject: |
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| Lopin18 wrote: | Early 30s.... i started the deleted post saying life doesnt have a good route after college, work is heavy, routines change, free time is a luxury, friends move on. etc etc.
Yeah...... College and school were fun and i had fun working hard, i got a top position where i am, im economically ok, saving and enjoying what i never had, peace and savings. But ive gotten bored of games, series, anime, i cant enjoy them as much. Drifting has turned to shit, since the people running the show have created an extremely toxic enviroment, so hobby is semi fucked.
I think being alone, playing games constantly and being holed up at the house has really affected me.
I miss friends, wife, nice enviroments. But that will be back soon i guess, ill just focus on learning stuff to have a good start in the US, engine building (like it, fun, money pit but ill help others then), engine tuning, maybe start a unity game to see whats up with that and make some helpful software to keep me entertained.
But fucking hell, adult life needs to change, i pity the japanese people who have that insane culture of work, i would have killed myself or left a long time ago. i dont have it as bad as many but holy shit no wonder people get lost after college. I know what i can and have to do but its really a tough change all around. |
Sounds like your mind needs a "reset". If you have a lot on your mind, a lot on your plate and various worries, it can numb the mind as a defensive move to shield yourself but that also dulls you from the stuff you enjoy. I had that in the early 2000's and after a while it leads to depression so you need to be careful.
Last year, after a year of non-stop stress, I finally had a week off ... and it took 6 out of 9 days to just get most of the stress out of system. I'd use those 6 days to clean up and be productive because I couldn't enjoy games, I couldn't enjoy watching TV, I couldn't enjoy hanging out with friends. After those 6 days I slowly got more "drive" but by then my vacation was over. I vowed never to let it get so bad anymore.
Of course everyone is different but I hear this story quite often - the mind is happiest when it's at ease. Some people can naturally approach life with optimism but for all us others we need to create our own happiness and balance where we can still enjoy our time off.
I think working on achieving a certain positive state of mind can help to keep problems and worries at a distance - it's really not good to constantly have stuff in the back of your head. Easier said than done - it's something I'm working on myself.
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DXWarlock
VIP Member
Posts: 11422
Location: Florida, USA
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| Posted: Mon, 17th Feb 2020 13:46 Post subject: |
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I'm with @red_avatar.
Its a bitch when you get in that state. But you need to find what makes you happy and calm, even if its just what makes you happy on your own.
And when you are in that state of mind, it seems impossible/pointless to find anything that does. Everything you want to make you happy, you can't have. And everything that would have make you happy before you don't want anymore.
But at some point you need to go "I'm going to make me happy..I'm going to be happy for myself". Start thinking of things you want to do new, that you didn't do before. Don't worry if you are concerned on if they will fix the 'happiness' before you start to do it. Because then you will never do any of them for fear it won't 'work'.
Some may, some may not. But you are doing new things, and if none of them work it may help you realize the familiarity of the old things does actually bring you enjoyment.
Life, to me, for the majority of people is a series of events with moments that make it worth it all. You don't need it all to be fulfilling, you just need to step back and find what those tiny moments that make it all worth the rest is for you (for you, that doesn't 'require' anyone else to happen. Others should add to it, not depend on it).
And maybe the old hobbies aren't for you anymore, they might be, or might not. Trying to force yourself to enjoy what you use to might just make it worse. Try doing things new that are a tangent of things you did before but never did itself.
Like me, I did construction for over 10 years for work..hated EVERY minute of it. But I have a garage full of tools now. Recently decided that I want to try wasting time in the garage making stuff with wood working. And I enjoy it, despite hating doing it for work so long ago..when its my rules and my project its relaxing. I don't care if I finish it, if I fuck it up, if I quit 1/2 way thru one and start another..the act of doing it regardless if I thought I would hate it, is actually enjoyable. I mean whats the worst that can happen? You try it and go "Eh not feeling it" and stop? At least now you know you tried something new, it and it wasn't for you.
It's also the idea that you need to 'finish' something to feel successful that might be doing it? Saying you need to make a game or software.
I really enjoy making music. I got 100's of unfinished or 'meh' pieces saved to my harddrive. I would like to make a whole 'album' even if just for me. But The act of making it is enjoyable, even if I dont finish the song. Program little things, personal project hobbies, let the act of 'doing it' be the fun part. Not the push to finish one be on if it satisfies you. If its successfully completed as a large scale should not be if you feel you accomplished something, just doing it you accomplished something..you accomplished making you happy enjoying doing it.
Find something for you. The concept that you need new people, or a specific person to try to help fix it leaves you open to the idea that they are what it depends on, if they are unavailable you are stuck. You are not at the helm of your happiness, you are a passenger of theirs.
You need your happiness to depend on you. Because only you can reliably be there for you 100% of the time. As I said others should contribute on top of your own happiness and well being, not be reliant on them.
-We don't control what happens to us in life, but we control how we respond to what happens in life.
-Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times. -G. Michael Hopf
Disclaimer: Post made by me are of my own creation. A delusional mind relayed in text form.
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| Posted: Mon, 17th Feb 2020 15:17 Post subject: |
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A little while ago, I read an article about how men need projects to keep them happy and I must say, like DXWarlock says, you just need to keep busy. It's not about finishing perfect products, it's about enjoying the work you put in, learning from it, doing things you love.
The past month or two I've been working heavily on my old PCs, tweaking them, improving them. Before that, I built an arcade cabinet and set up all the software. As a job it would get tedious but you do it at your own pace, when the mood strikes. Keep a few projects around and fly from one to another and that may help stave off dullness.
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Frant
King's Bounty
Posts: 24433
Location: Your Mom
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| Posted: Mon, 17th Feb 2020 15:28 Post subject: |
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There's a huge risk of getting long term mental problems unless you find a way to lower the amount of stress you experience. Once you hit the wall it may take years to get back up again (or in worst case you may never get back to where you were if you continue running towards that invisible wall). Re-prioritize, find ways to alleviate your stress, are you putting too much pressure and expectations on yourself or is it coming from external sources?
If you can somehow answer those questions (and/or find other reasons why you're experiencing difficulties now) you may find ways to deal with it, change your goals perhaps to better fit your schedule. Obviously you've got commitments that you can't just drop like a hat but somehow you need to find a way that doesn't burn you out.
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
"Thank you to God for making me an Atheist" - Ricky Gervais
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| Posted: Mon, 17th Feb 2020 23:00 Post subject: |
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Well i had an insanely huge task of remaking the web application that handles national tax forms locally, so yea, it was intense, i enjoyed it a lot and learned a lot but i had to work a LOT because the other guys didnt support me much (5 got fired last friday), but its DONE, its working, some small hic cups that i will fix but im trying to relax, to lay back.
I like my work, i think i may be getting stressed without realizing it, im definitely not feeling sad now, or tired, but im.... apathetic about a lot of stuff? uninteresed? bored, something like that. Im not stressed or anxious of taking any projects now....
As far as depression goes, dont know, ive thought about it, but i dont feel anything negative or risky right now, yea i may feel like my hobby was fucked by some guys, but i still have my car and i can race and work on it, sad because of sad things i read or see, i think i have a lot of empaty and it hits me hard when i get into topics that are hard for me to put myself into. I think the robbery of my laptop affected me more than i wanted to admit, feeling frustrated and cheated isnt great for me and having this fucking useless system doesnt help but im getting over it, last month i was for sure affected by it, mood wise.
But yea, todayyy as it is, i feel ok, ive restarted some games, some anime, some good stuff there, got a little to do list for the car, got some free days to relax, i think im ok now, as far as i can think, i do get moody when i think about age, life, being stuck here waiting for whats next, scared of moving to the us but im ready to tackle it.
No inspiration to start a game or software so i just put it aside for another time. games and anime i think im just saturated, i need new innovative stuff, KSP2 should be nice 
But again, thinking about it, being an adult really sucks compared to the teens and 20s, things change so fast and if u get on a slow rail of 8 to 5 work and sleep without constant progress, it eats you up.
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DXWarlock
VIP Member
Posts: 11422
Location: Florida, USA
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| Posted: Mon, 17th Feb 2020 23:37 Post subject: |
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People tend to say 40 is the 'hump' to get over. And 50 is where you start feeling you age.
But I think the 30's is where most people don't realize the roots of that start to grow and they feel it, just can't put a finger on it until 10 years later to nail it down. And don't realize its a tangled mess of emotions by that age because they didn't trim the roots when they started to set.
30's are the age where you are stuck between the 'I got time' mentality of the teens and 20's and the harsh reality of little (perceived that way at least) time is left to get your shit together. And assume you should be expecting more of yourself by this 'stage' in life.
Its the age where things you did enjoy can start to fade, not because of the piled on social guilt or shame of enjoying those 'childish' things in your 30's. It's more personal than that, its they ran their course. What it did for you 10-20 years ago just isn't the same, not because you are older but because you have enjoyed them for so long.
The clash of apathy of what you once enjoyed wearing thinner compared to what it once was, and the apathy of wanting to start a new 'joy' this late in life (that whole, 'fuck I'm 30's now, new things are really just a late start for me' outlook) is a bitch to handle sometimes.
30's are a strange age. The unavoidable fact you are now "An adult, responsible for yourself..and expected to be as such". As well as realizing "Fuck I was JUST in my 20's it seems like a week ago."
I can say at 45, I dont 'worry' about age anymore. Or what people think of me at my age. I enjoy playing dumb video games with my friends? Who cares? You?..well enjoy caring about that for me, I don't.
I don't feel I need to prove myself, to myself. I don't need to sweat some imaginary legacy to start on that the clock is ticking for me to decide on. I didn't start one in my 30's like I stressed over needing, and I realize I'm fine..nothing bad happened because I didn't. I want to get around to building that dining room table I kept saying I was..and I got 4 legs turned on the lathe and stopped? Eh..so what, I enjoyed making the legs, maybe one day I will get the urge to enjoy finishing the top. That day will come the day its ready to.
Just relax, take things as they come. Want to spend a whole day changing the plugs in your car while enjoying outside and drinking a few beers? Go for it. No one would be rushing you, but yourself otherwise. Like me, I COULD organize my garage in a day if I pushed it..but why? I took the whole weekend. Enjoyed digging thru old tools, deciding what I wanted to keep..test some I haven't used in years for the hell of it..Just relaxed and enjoyed the 'me' time. Even if it wasn't efficient, it was really enjoyable and helped unwind.
So it will pass, just give it time. Try to work towards realizing the reality of 30's isn't as a big a deal in the rear view mirror as it is coming at you.
-We don't control what happens to us in life, but we control how we respond to what happens in life.
-Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times. -G. Michael Hopf
Disclaimer: Post made by me are of my own creation. A delusional mind relayed in text form.
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| Posted: Tue, 18th Feb 2020 02:35 Post subject: |
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Yea, sounds pretty close, luckily i have patience and i usually get out of these holes, im happy as i am, ive accomplished a lot, sadly i also got to pay for 2 households,so it evens out 
I think i do overthink things, which wont solve anything, but i do delve too much into crap, boredom brought that. Enjoying kingdom come deliverance tho, kind of a needed surprise of quality and innovation.
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| Posted: Mon, 20th Jul 2020 17:43 Post subject: |
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How do you stop chewing your nails?
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couleur
[Moderator] Janitor
Posts: 14081
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| Posted: Tue, 21st Jul 2020 08:18 Post subject: |
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| Stormwolf wrote: | | How do you stop chewing your nails? |
You put really strong mustard on them.
"Enlightenment is man's emergence from his self-imposed nonage. Nonage is the inability to use one's own understanding without another's guidance. This nonage is self-imposed if its cause lies not in lack of understanding but in indecision and lack of courage to use one's own mind without another's guidance. Dare to know! (Sapere aude.) "Have the courage to use your own understanding," is therefore the motto of the enlightenment."
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