The Official The Onion "News" Thread
Page 3 of 3 Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3
sabin1981
Mostly Cursed



Posts: 87805

PostPosted: Sun, 24th Jan 2010 23:23    Post subject:
I fucking LOL'd.
Back to top
PumpAction
[Schmadmin]



Posts: 26759

PostPosted: Mon, 25th Jan 2010 00:04    Post subject:
Yeah but her tit's were still nice Sad Do you think they were real? :>


=> NFOrce GIF plugin <= - Ryzen 3800X, 16GB DDR4-3200, Sapphire 5700XT Pulse
Back to top
LeoNatan
Banned



Posts: 73193
Location: Ramat Gan, Israel đŸ‡źđŸ‡±
PostPosted: Thu, 28th Jan 2010 15:56    Post subject:
Laughing
Back to top
sabin1981
Mostly Cursed



Posts: 87805

PostPosted: Thu, 28th Jan 2010 16:08    Post subject:
"John was giving Mary first-aid when the police arrived, undoubtedly regretting he had destroyed his favourite sex toy"




Oh and the news snippet at the end;

"Michael Bay to direct film based on popular "Avatar" toys" Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
Back to top
Ankh




Posts: 23252
Location: Trelleborg
PostPosted: Fri, 19th Nov 2010 16:41    Post subject:
I know youve seen this brilliant vid...


but check it again and THEN check this girls reply to it! Very Happy


shitloads of new stuff in my pc. Cant keep track of it all.
Back to top
tonizito




Posts: 51265
Location: Portugal, the shithole of Europe.
PostPosted: Fri, 19th Nov 2010 16:45    Post subject:
Ankh wrote:
but check it again and THEN check this girls reply to it! Very Happy

lol wut


boundle (thoughts on cracking AITD) wrote:
i guess thouth if without a legit key the installation was rolling back we are all fucking then
Back to top
Ankh




Posts: 23252
Location: Trelleborg
PostPosted: Fri, 19th Nov 2010 23:42    Post subject:
Hehe she removed the video Razz Ufortunatly for her - I had already downloaded the vid Razz


shitloads of new stuff in my pc. Cant keep track of it all.
Back to top
garus
VIP Member



Posts: 34200

PostPosted: Sat, 20th Nov 2010 00:43    Post subject:
snip


Last edited by garus on Tue, 27th Aug 2024 21:36; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
Hfric




Posts: 12017

PostPosted: Sat, 20th Nov 2010 01:39    Post subject:
Ankh wrote:
Hehe she removed the video Razz Ufortunatly for her - I had already downloaded the vid Razz
upload it NOW


Back to top
Ankh




Posts: 23252
Location: Trelleborg
PostPosted: Sat, 20th Nov 2010 11:19    Post subject:


I had already uploaded it - just forgot to post the url here Smile


shitloads of new stuff in my pc. Cant keep track of it all.
Back to top
tonizito




Posts: 51265
Location: Portugal, the shithole of Europe.
PostPosted: Sun, 30th Jan 2011 13:46    Post subject:
Kim Jong Il Ends Nuclear Program For Lead In Next 'Batman' Laughing


boundle (thoughts on cracking AITD) wrote:
i guess thouth if without a legit key the installation was rolling back we are all fucking then
Back to top
Ankh




Posts: 23252
Location: Trelleborg
PostPosted: Tue, 22nd May 2012 17:31    Post subject:
http://www.theonion.com/video/how-to-get-a-guy-to-notice-you-while-youre-having,19984/


shitloads of new stuff in my pc. Cant keep track of it all.
Back to top
LeoNatan
Banned



Posts: 73193
Location: Ramat Gan, Israel đŸ‡źđŸ‡±
PostPosted: Mon, 30th Jun 2014 22:24    Post subject:
Back to top
VonMisk




Posts: 9436
Location: Hatredland
PostPosted: Mon, 30th Jun 2014 23:31    Post subject:
LeoNatan wrote:
http://www.theonion.com/video/sponsored-groundbreaking-video-game-lets-players-c,36385/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:1:Default



Laughing

http://www.theonion.com/video/new-ps4-feature-allows-user-to-close-eyes-and-imag,36251/


sar·​casm | \ ˈsĂ€r-ˌka-zəm \
1: a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain
2a: a mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on bitter, caustic, and often ironic language that is usually directed against an individual
b: the use or language of sarcasm
Back to top
Hellifant




Posts: 2007
Location: getMoreMoney
PostPosted: Tue, 1st Jul 2014 14:58    Post subject:
Back to top
Nalo
nothing



Posts: 13492

PostPosted: Tue, 1st Jul 2014 15:40    Post subject:
⁹⁹


Last edited by Nalo on Wed, 3rd Jul 2024 06:20; edited 2 times in total
Back to top
Ankh




Posts: 23252
Location: Trelleborg
PostPosted: Sun, 18th Nov 2018 11:07    Post subject:
Back to top
WaldoJ
VIP Member



Posts: 32678

PostPosted: Sun, 18th Nov 2018 12:43    Post subject:
That headline.


Sin317 wrote:
I win, you lose. Or Go fuck yourself.
Back to top
Ankh




Posts: 23252
Location: Trelleborg
PostPosted: Sun, 16th Aug 2020 09:33    Post subject:


shitloads of new stuff in my pc. Cant keep track of it all.
Back to top
iconized




Posts: 4416
Location: Pays-Bas
PostPosted: Tue, 27th Sep 2022 09:28    Post subject:
Onion news but a different source: ANF News
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Firat_News_Agency

Turkey uses tactical nuclear weapons in its war in Kurdistan

In accordance with its war concept against the Kurdish people introduced in 2015, the Turkish has state increased its inventory of nuclear weapons. Recently, it has put into use 'tactical nuclear weapons' which destroys targeted areas.

A retired officer from the Turkish army and former pilot lieutenant general Erdoğan KarakuƟ talked about tactical nuclear weapons of the Turkish army in a TV show on March 23, 2022: “Tactical nuclear weapons are not considered atomic bombs. Our land forces had tactical nuclear weapons in their inventory previously. They are launched by artillery units. You can arrange the level of destruction. They cause low destruction. The nuclear weapons dropped in Japan were 20 kilotons, tactical nuclear weapons are half a kiloton.”

While the former Turkish soldier was trying to give detailed information on tactical nuclear weapons, the TV channel went off the air, yet his remarks are an important confession that Turkey possesses nuclear weapons. It has been revealed that the tactical weapons mentioned by the retired Turkish officer have also been used frequently during the Turkish invasion attack launched on the regions of Zap, AvaƟün and Metina in guerrilla-held Medya Defense Zones in South Kurdistan (North Iraq) on April 17, 2022.

Speaking to Medya Haber TV the day before, PKK (Kurdistan Workers’ Party) Executive Committee Member Duran Kalkan pointed out that the Turkish army may have used tactical nuclear weapons at TepĂȘ Sor, one of the resistance areas of HPG and YJA Star guerrillas. Duran Kalkan cited the guerrillas who survived the clashes at TepĂȘ Sor. So, what is a "tactical nuclear weapon" and what type does the Turkish army have?

'MINI ATOMIC BOMBS'

“Strategic nuclear weapons” generally refer to nuclear weapons that can be launched at a high or intercontinental range, while those designed for shorter ranges are called “tactical nuclear weapons”. These weapons have an effect diameter of 1 to 3 km and are produced for brigade-sized units in the NATO member armies. The yield of tactical nuclear weapons is generally similar to mini-atomic bombs. Although they are called tactical, they are often used for strategic purposes.

Nikolai Sokov, a member of the Centre for Non-proliferation Studies, explained the dangers of these weapons in research he conducted for the Nuclear Threat Initiative: “Tactical nuclear weapons are in some ways more dangerous than strategic weapons. They are small in size and vulnerable to stealing, which makes them a risk to global security.”

DESTROYING ALL LIFE IN THE TARGETED AREA

Tactical nuclear weapons, which include gravity bombs, short-range missiles, artillery shells and land mines, are abundant in the inventory of NATO member countries, particularly the U.S. Since the smallest "tactical nuclear weapon" has an explosive yield of tens of tons of TNT, it is estimated that the Turkish army used them to destroy tunnels, caves and crossing points in the bases of the Kurdistan freedom guerrilla.

These tactical nuclear weapons can destroy all living things in an area where they are used, and generally have an explosive yield of several kilotons. For instance, the bombs dropped by the U.S. on Hiroshima and Nagasaki caused 15 and 20 kiloton explosions. Experts point out that even if used in very small amounts, they can cause a radiation effect in a wide geography, leading to radioactive fallout through rain.

TURKEY SEEKING NUCLEAR WEAPONS SINCE 2015

Turkey has increased its attempts to obtain nuclear weapons in recent years. Turkey signed a nuclear reactor agreement with the Russian company ROSATAM for 20 billion dollars in 2011. The country also took part in another project launched in a Japanese-French partnership worth 22 billion dollars in 2013. While the Erdogan regime claims that these agreements were made to meet the country’s energy requirements, the German intelligence service BND reported in 2015 that “Turkey has opened its door to a military nuclear option through these two projects”.

According to the same report, Turkey established facilities to enrich uranium and started to produce uranium concentrate powder called “Yellowcake”. Turkey has illegally procured uranium through Kosovo and Bosnia and Herzegovina. Turkey's most important nuclear supplier is Pakistan, which sells missiles with nuclear warheads on the black market.

According to reports and comments in the Arab and Indian media outlets, Erdogan maintains good relations with Pakistan about procuring nuclear warheads. The news site “zeenews.india.com” reported that in December 2020, Pakistani and Turkish military delegations held talks about nuclear sales for two days. It further reported that the F-16 fighter jets of the Turkish army, which were modernized between 2015 and 2018 with the support of NATO, have been modified to carry nuclear missiles.

https://anfenglish.com/news/turkey-uses-tactical-nuclear-weapons-in-its-war-in-kurdistan-60729
Back to top
Page 3 of 3 All times are GMT + 1 Hour
NFOHump.com Forum Index - Jokes, Stories, Quotes, Web games, Cool Links Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3
Signature/Avatar nuking: none (can be changed in your profile)  


Display posts from previous:   

Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB 2.0.8 © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group