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 Posted: Wed, 31st Jan 2007 23:59 Post subject: Love, and all that bollocks. |
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You know i'm not sure if I like love.
I mean, it's a great feeling; but having all your happiness depend on one person is a headfuck.
Case in point. Last night I was out with my girl and a load of mates, there are a couple of guys in the group who I know fancy her. Well I was having a great time talking to a few other people and as far as I knew my GF was off on the dancefloor. Well I looked over to a different area of the club and saw one of the guys who fancies my girl snogging a female facing away from me. Her hair looked exactly like my GF's, I thought it was her for about 5 seconds.
In those 5 seconds I almost went berzerk. My world collapsed and was rebuilt with foundations of rage. Firstly I was going to go over and rip his head off, secondly...well I didn't really have a plan beyond that. But there was such a deep sadness behind it all, it was horrible.
Then my GF came bounding over and it all dissipated.  I'd not really thought about it before but in those 5 seconds I got a taste of what it would be like if we break up. I've never really been into a girl as much as her before, I was usually the one in control. This probably shows an insecurity I have about the relationship..but whatever, we've not been together that long.
I can see why some people just avoid relationships for a long time after they have a breakup. Anyone want to share some stories about the beginnings and endings of their relationships? We all know they're the most interesting parts. 
"Techniclly speaking, Beta-Manboi didnt inject Burberry_Massi with Benz, he injected him with liquid that had air bubbles in it, which caused benz." - House M.D
"Faith without logic is the same as knowledge without understanding; meaningless"
Last edited by AnimalMother on Thu, 1st Feb 2007 02:04; edited 1 time in total
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Feb 2007 00:45 Post subject: |
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[sYn]
[Moderator] Elitist
Posts: 8374
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Feb 2007 00:47 Post subject: |
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Man, it would take me a life time to tell you about most of my starts/ends.. too many girls.. too many psychopaths.. I know what you mean though, women are a mans biggest weakness, no matter how big the man.
I'm glad you took those 5 seconds to think before acting, that's all you need to keep in your mind.
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Feb 2007 01:01 Post subject: |
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LOL! Hmmm, maybe a chastity belt would do the trick...
"Techniclly speaking, Beta-Manboi didnt inject Burberry_Massi with Benz, he injected him with liquid that had air bubbles in it, which caused benz." - House M.D
"Faith without logic is the same as knowledge without understanding; meaningless"
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spankie
VIP Member
Posts: 2958
Location: Belgium
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Feb 2007 02:09 Post subject: |
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Well I broke up with my ex in June 2006, took me about till half of December 2006 to get over it. Felt like dying, many many times, tears were shed... too many. But I am over her
Got a new girl these days she's great, still love my ex though. You'll find that when you have a girl that you truly truly love.... you will always love her even when she's with someone else. She'll always be a part of your life if you like it or not. That's the worst thing because nothing lasts forever.
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Esel_Gesi
VIP Member
Posts: 3802
Location: Chicago
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Feb 2007 02:13 Post subject: |
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| spankie wrote: | | time will change you though (i hope). Instead of getting fucked up, first think, nah, cannot be happening |
I agree with spankie here, in time your trust will build and eventually there will be no doubt in your mind that she is being faithful at all times. I think a few instances like this where you suspect something and it turns out to be fine will settle your mind and build your confidence in her.
It seems that every girl I have ever dealt with has done this to me though. It is one of the worst feelings. It hits you right in the pit of your stomach and you can almost taste the anger in the back of your throat. I am one of those people who internalize it though. I make it like "what did I do to make her do this?" I think it's why I am reluctant to get seriously involved with anyone. No trust and I feel like such shit when it does happen. I say this but still am going to move in with a girl in August. I'm still iffy about it but the lease is signed...
Anyway good luck man. It sounds like you got an alright lady friend there. Hope it all works out for ya. |
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Franneke
Posts: 295
Location: A Swede(ish) in Belgium
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Feb 2007 07:29 Post subject: |
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| Pizda2 wrote: | | Got a new girl these days she's great, still love my ex though. You'll find that when you have a girl that you truly truly love.... you will always love her even when she's with someone else. She'll always be a part of your life if you like it or not. That's the worst thing because nothing lasts forever. |
You're sooo right, but in my case it's a boyfriend. I still love my first ex-boyfriend. And i have had a few after him, but if he ever want to get together again, i wouldnt doubt for a second.
AMD X4 945 Phenom II | MSI 790fx-gd70 | 4gb Pc10666 RAM Patriot | ASUS HD6970 | IIyama ProLite E2407HDS | Windows 7 Ultimate 64 | 3 HDD's=3Tb | PS3 | Xbox360 | PSN & XBL Franneke, feel free to add me
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Feb 2007 09:51 Post subject: |
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Back to Am post. I always had a hard time understanding why a guy would get so mad at his guy friend for kissing or sleeping with his girlfriend. Sure it is a totally shit friend thing to do but really your agreement on faithfullness is with your love of your life, not your best friend.
If my best friend suduced my husband I wouldn't be her friend anymore but my anger would be directed at my husband. My friend just happened to be to the one too exploit a weakness in my marriage. If it wasn't her it would of been some other home wreaker women.
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Feb 2007 10:05 Post subject: |
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| pistolshrimp wrote: | Back to Am post. I always had a hard time understanding why a guy would get so mad at his guy friend for kissing or sleeping with his girlfriend. Sure it is a totally shit friend thing to do but really your agreement on faithfullness is with your love of your life, not your best friend.
If my best friend suduced my husband I wouldn't be her friend anymore but my anger would be directed at my husband. My friend just happened to be to the one too exploit a weakness in my marriage. If it wasn't her it would of been some other home wreaker women. |
Well I would hate them both equally. A girlfriend is a friend too, In a way your best friend.
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Feb 2007 10:31 Post subject: |
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Imagion if that happened tho. You would lose your girl/boy friend and your best friend at the same time. Imagion the hole that would leave.
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Feb 2007 10:53 Post subject: |
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thing is. you tell your best friend things about your girl, there is a reason hes your best friend right. if he then does something he knows how to get her.
anyways tonight im going out with this girl who i met last week and its mutual \o/ . couldnt sleep because of it  . shes so damn nice in every way
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Feb 2007 11:45 Post subject: |
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Franneke
Posts: 295
Location: A Swede(ish) in Belgium
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Feb 2007 17:35 Post subject: |
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| JeanPerrier wrote: | thing is. you tell your best friend things about your girl, there is a reason hes your best friend right. if he then does something he knows how to get her.
anyways tonight im going out with this girl who i met last week and its mutual \o/ . couldnt sleep because of it . shes so damn nice in every way |
Yeehaa way to go!!
AMD X4 945 Phenom II | MSI 790fx-gd70 | 4gb Pc10666 RAM Patriot | ASUS HD6970 | IIyama ProLite E2407HDS | Windows 7 Ultimate 64 | 3 HDD's=3Tb | PS3 | Xbox360 | PSN & XBL Franneke, feel free to add me
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Feb 2007 18:00 Post subject: |
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Play it safe is all I can say, Never put yourself in a position where your entire life is at the will of a girls actions. My stupid friends run to me all day crying and whining about their partner doing this and that. My advice to them is don't even get into that shit to begin with, girls bring you to their knee's so stand up and be a man.
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| Posted: Thu, 1st Feb 2007 19:27 Post subject: |
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| pistolshrimp wrote: | Back to Am post. I always had a hard time understanding why a guy would get so mad at his guy friend for kissing or sleeping with his girlfriend. Sure it is a totally shit friend thing to do but really your agreement on faithfullness is with your love of your life, not your best friend.
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The reason behind it is because in this situation you're just massively angry anyway, with both of them. But you can't take your anger out on the girl, at least not physically. So you project it onto the guy. Plus, he's not my best friend by a long shot, so I have no compunctions about kicking the shit out of him.
If my best friend did something like this to me i'm not sure what I would do.
"Techniclly speaking, Beta-Manboi didnt inject Burberry_Massi with Benz, he injected him with liquid that had air bubbles in it, which caused benz." - House M.D
"Faith without logic is the same as knowledge without understanding; meaningless"
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Bigperm
Posts: 1908
Location: Alberta,Canada
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| Posted: Fri, 2nd Feb 2007 18:37 Post subject: |
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Well im kinda with syn. Way to many to list. But there is one whore in my past that i really thought of when i read your post am.
I dated this chick when i was still in high school. I got kicked out for selling pot so i was going to a different adult school to finish highschool. Anyways i fell head over heals for this chick, she (I thought) was so nice, we could talk for hours. And to boot she was hot as hell, perfect body. All my friends used to oggle over her. And she was really my first long term relationship.
But i would always get those horrable feelings that AM talked about every couple of weeks. But i just blew them off as, she would never lie to me, she tells me over and over how good we are together.
Then on newyears, i was at her house, but couldnt find her. So as i was looking i could hear her on the phone in her room. Talking to her other fucking boyfriend, aranging there get together that night. But i actually played it cool, even though i was fucking dieing inside. I couldnt beleve it.
Well it turns out she had been dating him longer than we were together. Her best friend told me everything.
Man it was messy. I called her a whore infront of her mom and dad. I even told her dad when he got up, to "Sit the fuck down old man".
Next day i got tested, and the results came back clean. I think i cryed for a couple months, i was still shocked that someone could be so cold an manipulative.
Now heres the kicker, her mom commited suicide like 6 months later. I get a call, from her crying. And in this situation, even though i really hated her; i couldnt just turn the cold shoulder. I dropped everything and went to see her. When i saw her she said how sorry she was, and she just wanted me to hold her, and be there for her, but she would understand if i wouldnt. Well when something so serious as death happens, i can look past things, and i was there for her. Helped her find a new appt etc. Then one night she wants to sleep over, so i put her on the couch. Then the next week she was sneeking into my bed. And before you know it, we are back together.And guess what.
She was doing the exact same thing with the guy she was with at the same time as me. She was a little sneeker this time, but she fucked up. Im not proud of what i did, but here it is. I setup her email for her, showed her msn etc. So one day i get this very stange email. Her telling another guy that she has the answer to his question. She want to be with him,and only him. So i logged into her email (Heres the part im not proud of) and printed out the entire email correspondence between her and this other guy.
I dropped all the emails off at her house, called her lots of names blah blah. Never heard from her since. It hurt the first time, but the second time, i was really more ashamed.
Ok rant over, sorry for the long post. The memories of that failed relationship just came flowing back.
Now, you want to here someting funny. This is one line explains my fucked up releationships. (And its %100 true)
I lost my virginity to a Jehovas Whitness.
| Jenni wrote: | | I drunk. I don't fucking care! |
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Feb 2007 03:12 Post subject: |
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@Bigperm
| Quote: | | She was doing the exact same thing with the guy she was with at the same time as me. She was a little sneeker this time, but she fucked up. Im not proud of what i did, but here it is. I setup her email for her, showed her msn etc. So one day i get this very stange email. Her telling another guy that she has the answer to his question. She want to be with him,and only him. So i logged into her email (Heres the part im not proud of) and printed out the entire email correspondence between her and this other guy. |
You should be proud of that. You had a reason not to trust her. That is a beautiful play tho, printing out her e-mails. How can someone deny that. I wouldn't of confronted them tho, just dropped them off. I would just ignore them and I think that would hurt them and bother them more then if I screamed at them.
People are such losers to each other these days sometimes it is pointless to bother with relationships.
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Feb 2007 03:36 Post subject: |
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| pistolshrimp wrote: |
People are such losers to each other these days sometimes it is pointless to bother with relationships. |
agree 100% with the first part, not with the second. where is the mortherfucking trust these days fuck |
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Feb 2007 03:38 Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
People are such losers to each other these days sometimes it is pointless to bother with relationships.
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I agree. Nobody is good enough for me.
Sense Amid Madness, Wit Amidst Folly
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WaldoJ
VIP Member
Posts: 32678
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Feb 2007 04:23 Post subject: |
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Hah. I don't agree. Relationships are important (to me at least). Trust is easy to gain (easier to lose).
Brings forth the fun. Things that are wroth it, are things you have to work on. Incredibly hard. No good relationship comes easy.
I’m glad to say that I enjoy working hard to gain the trust of someone I intend to love.
| Sin317 wrote: | | I win, you lose. Or Go fuck yourself. |
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Feb 2007 15:13 Post subject: |
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Just want some advice on something.
Was out last night with the girl, and one of her housemates was there. Now, he fancies her (the list seems to be growing  ) and he didn't know we were together. So, when he saw us kissing he threw his drink on the floor and stormed off. So she goes after him, and then I don't see her again for the rest of the night.
She did text me a couple of hours later apologising, but I heard from one of my other mates there that she likes him romantically. Not sure if this is true or not.
So do you think this means anything, or was she just concerned for her friend? She does have to live with him, so it would make sense that she would try and remain on friendly terms.
"Techniclly speaking, Beta-Manboi didnt inject Burberry_Massi with Benz, he injected him with liquid that had air bubbles in it, which caused benz." - House M.D
"Faith without logic is the same as knowledge without understanding; meaningless"
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Feb 2007 17:53 Post subject: Re: Love, and all that bollocks. |
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Feb 2007 22:59 Post subject: |
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Yes.
The only girl I've ever wasted my time on, or even bothered to invest any energy in I met a couple years ago. We met through some friends and immedietly I noticed she had a thing for me but for the first 3 months of our friendly relationship I didn't dig her at all. It was after I really got to know her better that I realized she's a really good girl.
For a while we thought we weren't a normal couple after we hooked up because for a good 8 month's we did NOT fight about anything! AT ALL! The first 6 months consisted of us hanging out 6 days a week and fucking 2 times a day and spending every moment just talking to eachother.
She told me she loves me soon after that but being me I didn't know what the hell love was, I have no relationship with my family nor have had any with any girls so I've been handling my own buisiness for a long time and love was an unkown to me.
After about a year and a half, we started fighting. It started small and in all honesty out of all 50 fights in our time together 2% of them were caused by me. All of them were the result of her not listening to me and breaking rules we had set and a fight ensued as a result.
An example is: We figure out somewhere to meet, say a shopping center at this time. Say this is the first time we do this. So we go to meet and I arrive about 2 minutes after her but her car is not there. Where is she? She is driving around looking for me, this frustrated me and so I sat her down and made things clear that if we meet somewhere our best bets are to stay put where we designated instead of traveling around making it more difficult for the both of us. So she understood, well guess what? She repeated this a dozen times! The next 6 months she kept doing it and many of those times it caused insane amounts of headache, like us not finding eachother for 2 hours when she is driving around less then 200 yards from where I am parked.
That is just ONE of the NUMEROUS things she would break our rules on and cause tons of problems and anger over. She would just not learn, but in her defense she was either worried something happened to me or she thought maybe I mixed up where to meet so yeah.
The fights grew and grew and grew and grew until we had a fight every 3-4 days. We tried peace treaties many times, no more fighting let's both make nothing of these little stupid things that piss us off. And all of that went well. So she had a trip to another country to visit her relatives and I was alone for a couple months (No I did not cheat) So to keep myself busy since now my entire life revolved around this girl I worked and hung out with friends and stuff. So she comes back, and she is not the same person, not one bit. She avoides me for the first week of her return and explains to me things have changed she is thinking about her future, having kids, a family, her career and where she wants to go with life and all the while she said that those have never been a topic with me, I'm too much about enjoying now having a blast at the moment.
So she completely confuses me and is a different woman. Now her priorities are family, her relatives in the other country she visited taught her the importance of family and how they are there forever but a partner in a relationship can run out on you any minute. So she spent ALL of her time with family, her sisters, bro's, Mom Dad etc. And she comes to me with a bunch of new expectations and says I don't know if I want to go further with you but I can't and don't want to leave you I'm head over heels for you. She wanted me to be a part of her family since I hated her fam I had nothing to do with them during that past year and a half. Also she wanted me to be more emotional and show her that I care because she said I'm like a stone to her emotions wise, and to be more sensetive toward her since she said I spoke to her like she had no feelings. She wanted me to think about my future and what I want to make it too.
And then the deal breaker, she said she is going back to visit those relatives in that country for another 4 months over summer. I just looked at her in shock, I reminded her of our funny conversation about either of us going to prison. Would you wait for me? No I wouldn't be able to take not being with you that long. Well would you wait for me then? No same thing. Those were our responses. So i told her you going off like this 2-3 times a year from here on is the same as you going to prison and leaving me here, I'm not gonna sit around and wait for you like a fool especially if you come back so strange. It was horrible the first time she left, I was miserable as hell since I had grown attached to this girl and she was the focal point of my life.
So she said she can't end it because she loves me too much and wants to be with me, but I told her nah. You can't do this crap to me and obviously we are not on the same page anymore so let's go our seperate ways. So it was done.
Now being the man I am, I figured hey this is just a girl whatever I'm not gonna be a pussy like my friends and drop to the floor like a weakling and mourn over my loss. But the impact it had on me was extraordinary, I have never felt anything like it in my life. It's literally like being shot in the chest.
From then on I learned that my original mentality of girls are evil stay away that I kept up and used for 18 years of my life until that girl came along is the best approach to things. No longer shall I put myself in a position to be literally crushed into nothing the way I was when we split.
As of right now she is trying to negotiate getting together but I have no idea what to do, thinking about the difficulty of it ending and us being apart makes me very hesitant.
Sorry for the long story, I thought it would be fair to share!
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| Posted: Sun, 4th Feb 2007 00:49 Post subject: |
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AM
 Spoiler: |
1. why didn’t she tell him you 2 were together. There are room mates. You start dating someone you mention it. So she isn’t being up front. Why isn’t she being upfront? Does she think it will
a) Hurt his feeling or
b) Wants his attention still
2. How did she know that she was the reason he got upset unless she knew he liked her? Once again, if she knows he likes her and she is with you, the right thing to do would of to let him know ahead of time she has a boyfriend now.
3. She is at the party with you, not him. Ya, go see if he is ok but remember who you came with.
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I think her concern for her special friend isn’t such a good thing for you. I am sure she is not out to hurt you purpose.
| KrAzY-KaMeL wrote: |
From then on I learned that my original mentality of girls are evil stay away that I kept up and used for 18 years of my life until that girl came along is the best approach to things. No longer shall I put myself in a position to be literally crushed into nothing the way I was when we split. |
It isn’t the mentality of girls imo, it the nature of relationships. People fuck each other over the time. Kudo's on the great story.
RL Example
My 'friend' sunita, the new lesbian thinks she is going to go out and have this super fine lesibian relationship because it is not some evil man. I was like “you know the women are going to fuck you around too”
(She is going to the the evil one in her next relationship. All she does is consume other peoples resources, I pity the idiot that ends up with her)
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| Posted: Sun, 4th Feb 2007 02:26 Post subject: |
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Clevesa, Sex is what it's all about now a days man! But honestly you need all the mushy stuff in-between the sex when you're in the rejuvenation period (You know what I'm talking about) But I'm really uncomfortable with a girls sexual past/history. If I know a girl has fucked 200 guys even if she is the bombest chick on earth I'll pass on the bang bang part, It just bothers me too much. Let's just say I'm very picky with sexual partners.
pistolshrimp, I suppose your right, the both of us have really messed with eachother a ton over time. Now I just need to make some decisions. Ditch her completely and just live life or involve myself with her new attitude of focusing on our future.
Tough Choice. If I don't get back with her then I can honestly say I'm not going to bother with any other girl on the planet, it's waaaaaay too much to start over again with someone new. The getting to know eachother, learing eachothers boundaries, the 4 AM phone calls, etc, etc. Too much for me to start over again.
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Godlikez*
Banned
Posts: 2722
Location: In Your Illusions
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| Posted: Sun, 4th Feb 2007 09:38 Post subject: |
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