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 Posted: Sun, 30th Mar 2008 19:52 Post subject: Down under |
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These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humor.
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Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
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Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
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Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks?
( Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
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Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane , Cairns ,Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK )
A: What did your last slave die of?
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Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe .
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not ... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
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Q: Which direction is North in Australia ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
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Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
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Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ...
oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
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Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )
A: You are a British politician, right?
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Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round?
( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
Milk is illegal .
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Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
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Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
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Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
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Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay night clubs.
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Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )
A: Only at Christmas.
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Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the Girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross*. Can you help? ( USA )
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour..
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Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first |
rgds
Sabalasa
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LeoNatan
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| Posted: Sun, 30th Mar 2008 23:19 Post subject: |
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 The USA questions are the most retarded ones lmao. And before SkypeZ asks why USA in particular, I'm sure it's by coincidence and doesn't point a certain well known fact... 
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA )
Q: Which direction is North in Australia ? ( USA )
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
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nouseforaname
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| Posted: Mon, 31st Mar 2008 00:44 Post subject: |
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well know fact that americans tend to travel less than other countries (especially the couple of thousand $ round trip to australia), probably just a reflection of that.
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LeoNatan
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Location: Ramat Gan, Israel 🇮🇱
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| Posted: Mon, 31st Mar 2008 07:19 Post subject: |
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No, I meant they are so arrogant (and thus ignorant) to actually learn anything about "the outside world..."  I haven't traveled to Australia either, so? That hasn't stopped me from opening an encyclopedia (or whatever) and reading. But why should they, they are the Americans, the masters of the world! (The term Americans is so wrong, that description is just for USA folk).
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| Posted: Mon, 31st Mar 2008 07:53 Post subject: |
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americans think girls in sweden say ja ja ja all the time... those are german chicks and they only say that shit in porn movies and no one is namned inga anymore
idiots
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CaptainCox
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| Posted: Mon, 31st Mar 2008 07:55 Post subject: |
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Will show this to an Aussie guy at work today 
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deelix
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| Posted: Mon, 31st Mar 2008 09:41 Post subject: |
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javlar
Posts: 1921
Location: Kalmar, Sweden
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| Posted: Mon, 31st Mar 2008 16:09 Post subject: |
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Haha yeah there were quite a few good ones in here 
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Bigperm
Posts: 1908
Location: Alberta,Canada
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| Posted: Mon, 31st Mar 2008 17:15 Post subject: |
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Hahaha Nice one.
The stereotypical Americans can be annoying. I ran into many of them in Mexico but i got used to them. The resort we were in had a train, so if you wanted to avoid the Americans, just walk everywhere. But only some (A large percentage) were like that, the rest were great people.
The people that i have 100% distaste for know though. Is the fucking French Canadians, they are way worse than Americans at being ignorant.
| Jenni wrote: | | I drunk. I don't fucking care! |
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LeoNatan
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Posts: 73196
Location: Ramat Gan, Israel 🇮🇱
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| Posted: Mon, 31st Mar 2008 19:16 Post subject: |
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| hallik wrote: | | LeoNatan wrote: | | No, I meant they are so arrogant (and thus ignorant) to actually learn anything about "the outside world..." I haven't traveled to Australia either, so? That hasn't stopped me from opening an encyclopedia (or whatever) and reading. But why should they, they are the Americans, the masters of the world! (The term Americans is so wrong, that description is just for USA folk). |
Right.. you've got 250 million people from various ethnic backgrounds all figured out. They all are arrogant, ignorant and stupid! Sounds like you get most of your knowledge about Americans from T.V. Or would you care to explain what "facts" lead you to believe that 250 million people are all ignorant?
btw this list is fake http://www.snopes.com/travel/foreign/olympics.asp |
Dude, first read my sig. Second there are many studies that say US citizens are all cocky and think they are the best in the world, everything else is crap, etc. Just google for them.
Now, to be fair, I must admit education here in IL is the same. Everything taught in school is about the Jews in history and their deeds ( like I give a shit what Jooz did in Spain, in WW1, in WW2 or whatever). People here are ignorant too (for example, many don't know the difference between Bulgarians, Russians, Romanians, they're just "Russians" ). So don't think I go against USA alone. The problem is they think they control the world or are the best country of the world, or whatever, which is obviously not true anymore at all. |
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Ankh
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| Posted: Mon, 31st Mar 2008 19:32 Post subject: |
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| LeoNatan wrote: | | hallik wrote: | | LeoNatan wrote: | | No, I meant they are so arrogant (and thus ignorant) to actually learn anything about "the outside world..." I haven't traveled to Australia either, so? That hasn't stopped me from opening an encyclopedia (or whatever) and reading. But why should they, they are the Americans, the masters of the world! (The term Americans is so wrong, that description is just for USA folk). |
Right.. you've got 250 million people from various ethnic backgrounds all figured out. They all are arrogant, ignorant and stupid! Sounds like you get most of your knowledge about Americans from T.V. Or would you care to explain what "facts" lead you to believe that 250 million people are all ignorant?
btw this list is fake http://www.snopes.com/travel/foreign/olympics.asp |
Dude, first read my sig. Second there are many studies that say US citizens are all cocky and think they are the best in the world, everything else is crap, etc. Just google for them.
.
Now, to be fair, I must admit education here in IL is the same. Everything taught in school is about the Jews in history and their deeds ( like I give a shit what Jooz did in Spain, in WW1, in WW2 or whatever). People here are ignorant too (for example, many don't know the difference between Bulgarians, Russians, Romanians, they're just "Russians" ). So don't think I go against USA alone. The problem is they think they control the world or are the best country of the world, or whatever, which is obviously not true anymore at all. |
You've formed an opinion based on absolutely false information , you take said information as truth without even trying to do some research about it. And once again, you make accusations about what you seem to believe Americans think, ie "that Americans control the world" There is no real basis for this, at least you haven't given us any example. How the hell do you know about what the average Americans "think" about themselves and their position in the world? I had no idea you were so tapped into the cultural pulse of a country you probably have never been near.
Where do you get this idea that "Americans think they control the world" is it from actual information that can be backed up, or is it your opinion that you have derived from watching American shows on Television and reading about Americans in the paper and on the internet?
P.s I'd love to see a link to these "studies' that prove Americans are ignorant and we think everything else in the world is "crap" as you put it, I've tried to google for them but I get nothing, perhaps you can enlighten me.
Last edited by hallik on Mon, 31st Mar 2008 19:35; edited 1 time in total
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Ankh
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| Posted: Mon, 31st Mar 2008 21:19 Post subject: |
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oh noes...
That was not my intention with this thread...
rgds
Sabalasa
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Ankh
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nouseforaname
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| Posted: Mon, 31st Mar 2008 21:46 Post subject: |
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I'm pretty sure people in any given country feel that "their way is better" it's human nature and I agree it's shitty but it's hardly evidence of Americans being arrogant and ignorant.
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Ankh
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LeoNatan
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Location: Ramat Gan, Israel 🇮🇱
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| Posted: Mon, 31st Mar 2008 21:58 Post subject: |
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I'm sorry guys, as always, didn't mean to start all this shit. Just said that IMO the USA questions were funnier.
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| Posted: Tue, 1st Apr 2008 08:02 Post subject: |
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Q : Why did the american cross the street.
A : Why, well to get to the mcdonalds, pizzahut, burger hut, and other fine establishment that sells fat in its purest form.
Made that one up myself:LOL:
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nouseforaname
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| Posted: Sun, 6th Apr 2008 23:17 Post subject: |
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ahahhahahah burger hut xD
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| Posted: Mon, 7th Apr 2008 00:56 Post subject: |
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